


A Case In Need

by rosierainn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Be aware there is legit porn, Blood, But don't worry he still can fuck us good, Dominant Kylo Ren, F/M, Hes a little deranged, Infidelity, Kylo Ren has a monster cock, Kylo calls you Angel, Kylo is a MARRIED MAN, Kylo is a lawyer, Kylo needs a therapist, Not sure if it will end well, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sex, Smut right out the gate, Stockholm Syndrome, Violence, Your a paralegal, branding kink, dark fic? but also no?, each chapter is tagged, i love this man, im so sorry, kylo is a big evil murder baby and i love him, marking kink, murder (not us), seriously kylo needs a therapist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:28:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 50,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24988327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosierainn/pseuds/rosierainn
Summary: You had been working as a paralegal for years with your friend Finn when suddenly you're out of a job. You get approached by the First Order, a law firm in the city that has a notorious reputation but a jobs a job. You meet the lawyer you would be working under and things get... messy
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 80
Kudos: 154





	1. Tall, Dark and Dangerous

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, I really wanted to write some smut that was different from my Clyde Logan fic (Cowboy Blues). In this fic Kylos a lawyer and shit hits the fan real quick. Buckle up.

You had always been a hard worker. 

Never waste time on a project. You fought fearlessly for friends, family, and now your clients. Spending years trying to understand what you wanted most out of your life you settled on practicing the law. You had been a paralegal for some time after college and you had spent your time working at a smaller law firm in New York. It was homey and you didn’t deal with dangerous clients, nor were you subject to scrutiny if you lost a case since the firm was small enough to fly under the radar. 

Perhaps that should’ve been a red flag for you. Although nothing seemed out of the ordinary until you walked into your office building and saw Rose packing up boxes. 

“What are you doing Rose, spring cleaning happened months ago?” 

Rose didn’t meet your stare, just continuing to pack away her personal items from her desk. Clearing your throat you spoke again, “Rose, what’s going on?”. Glancing behind her desk you saw all the lights off in the hallway. Even the head lawyer you had been working with for 8 years wasn’t in yet. 

“Where is he, Rose?” you tried to keep your tone stern but the cracks were starting to show. 

Shifting and looking up you were met with Rose’s glassy eyes, rimmed with red-stained tears. Before she could speak someone came in behind you. Turning around you were met with your boss's face.

You had met Finn back in college, you both were such close friends. After he became a lawyer he tried working with a bigger corporate office but he got overwhelmed when he saw how rough they were and what types of clients they represented. He just wanted to help real people, not those who had more money than morals. You had agreed to work with him when he started his firm, both of you just taking on the world. But now it seemed like the world had taken him for a ride. “(Y/N)” he began to say, raising your hand you stopped him before he could continue. Finn stared down at the floor and handed you a pink piece of paper. 

——-

Clutching your freshly printed resume you approached a mirrored skyscraper. You had only been unemployed for a week and were shocked that the First Order Firm was wanting an interview with you. You knew their reputation for high turnovers in the paralegal department. Those who couldn’t handle the demand of the job were quickly cast aside. Finn was one of the lawyers who worked here almost a decade ago, he was always hesitant to speak of them with you other than sharing information about the terrifying lawyers he worked with. You felt ill-prepared for the role you were interviewing for, but kept your fingers crossed because along with a mean reputation, the First Order was known to give lucrative salaries and hey New York ain’t cheap. 

The elevator doors shuffled open to the 37th floor and you were in awe of the sterile beauty. The floors were a crisp black marble with white inlays, each piece of furniture was something out of an architectural magazine. Harsh lines and monochromatic color palette swallowed all the life from the city outside. Stepping up to the front desk you cleared your throat. 

“Good morning, I’m (Y/F/N) and I’m here for an interview.” 

The receptionist didn’t look up, just began scrolling on her computer until she found your name. 

“Excellent Miss (Y/L/N), if you would follow me I’ll take you to the conference room.” 

You nodded and followed her down a series of hallways. You took account of all the offices on the level, each one with a name plaque holding the First Order symbol. A symbol of power, dominance, and wealth. Each person who worked here oozed with an unwavering aura of darkness. Almost like they were all in a trance of whoever was in charge. The receptionist stopped short and you almost bumped into her as she ushered you to the room. 

Inside was a long glass table surrounded by empty black chairs. Each one pushed in so straight and precise it seemed like a robot set the place up. The far wall to your left had a mirror atop a fully stocked banquet bar and the right wall had a television. The rest of the walls were bare, save the floor to ceiling windows looking out at the city. 

“Mr. Ren will be here shortly, so make yourself comfortable.” she let out a small smile but then excused herself quickly. After taking stock of the room you waltzed to the mirror, carefully fixing the curls around your face and adjusting your red lipstick. You thought you had dressed smartly for an upscale interview, your hair was in loose yet tame waves, a pearl necklace hiding under your white blouse, tucked into a form-fitting black pencil skirt. Topping it off with some black sheer tights and your most expensive red bottom heels, you looked like you belonged here. Before you could turn around the door flew open and you had to keep your jaw from dropping. 

In walked the most stunning man you had ever laid eyes on. He was tall, dark, and exuded power, danger, and sex. His long black hair had effortless waves that framed his long pale face. Two mysterious eyes looked straight at you, almost through your soul. The most delicious shade of brown and gold danced around his pupils. “You must be (Y/N).” 

Still entranced by his looks you stood there dumbfounded. “Uh yes, I am, so nice to meet you Mr. Ren” you walked over and reached out to shake his hand. He did not take it. Instead using the moment to study you, glancing up and down, seeming to try to commit you to his memory. He pushed past you and took a seat at the head of the table. Motioning for you to be seated to his left. 

“I am Kylo Ren, you may call me Mr. Ren unless I state otherwise. You are here because I am in need of a paralegal to help my workload, I assume you have a resume?”   
“Yes, here it is sir.” sliding him your resume he snatched it and began browsing your experiences. 

“I see you’ve been working for a firm not far from here, why the change in employment?” 

“My friend was the owner there and he, unfortunately, had to close down after some personal issues…” Rens eyebrows short upward at the admission. 

“You mean to tell me you were let go?” 

“Well yes sir, but not because I wasn’t good at my job. Finn just couldn’t keep the business anymore.” 

“That has everything to do with how good you are at your job.” he snapped back at you. You didn’t have anything to say back, it is true that firms that win cases are better off, and you could’ve done better to win more for Finn, maybe you wouldn’t be sitting in front of this terrifying man if you had. “Just because a lawyer was unable to keep his business afloat does not mean I am bad at my job. I work very hard and my resume proves that. Why else would you have called me for an interview?” 

“I am not the one who calls in people for an interview. If it were me you would not have set foot in this firm based on your subpar experience and your self-righteous attitude.” 

“Attitude? I am simply trying to defend myself, sir.” 

“Yes, attitude” he narrowed his eyes and took in a long breath. “Your attitude does not reflect what I want in a paralegal, but I’m sure that will change.” A dark chuckle sounded from his chest as he leaned back in his chair. Placing his large hands on his lap he eyed you again. Swallowing loudly you crossed your legs to try and cover yourself from his penetrating gaze. 

“Do you have any other questions for me, or are we done here?” 

A small smirk played at his lips and suddenly he was on his feet circling you. His large hands came to rest on the sides of your chair before he pulled back roughly and spun you around. 

“I do Miss (Y/N).” He lowered his face to be level with yours, his hands not leaving the sides of the chair. His plump pink lips were just inches from yours. Just ripe for the picking, all you had to do was lean in. But no, he was being mean to you, he was just trying to rile you up proving you didn’t have the gall to work here. Just because you came from a small firm didn’t mean you could handle their workload. 

“How are you under pressure? Can you handle the stress that comes from working under a man like me?” 

“You don’t scare me, Mr. Ren, I’m not going to be intimidated by you to back out of this job” 

He licked his lips before speaking again. They looked so kissable and soft, if it weren’t for his harsh tone you would’ve enjoyed him being this close to you.   
“I suggest you get your attitude in order or else I’ll have to do it myself.” 

The floodgates of your psyche were filled to the brim with lust and anger. How dare this man talk down to you, and how dare you let him get to you. The gentle breathing you had prior to the interview was long gone, replaced with short shallow breaths seeming to prolong the inevitable tears that were forming. He saw them gather in your eyes and with a smirk he dug the knife deeper. 

“Are you going to cry little one?” he taunted at you. 

“N-n-no,” you said and choked back a sob. 

“I bet you look so pretty when you do, why don’t you let me see?” his smirk grew into a wicked smile. “I can make you, you know. Is that what you want? For me to make you cry?” 

One look into his eyes and you knew you were a goner. You nodded your head and he shot up and cracked his hand across your face. Tears poured down your cheeks and you let out a pained scream. Rough hands gripping your cheeks he brought his face closer to yours again. 

“Are you going to be a good girl and listen to me or are you going to be a crybaby?”

His hand was holding your jaw tight, your lips pursed in a small ‘o’ unable to respond to him. Another breath and he slapped the other side of your face and gripped it again. Your chest was heaving with tears, your makeup smudged and snot running from your nose from the violent treatment he was giving you.   
“Your cries really are music to my ears little one…” he began drawing circles with his thumb on your cheekbones. The soothing motion caused your tears to slow and a whimper escaped your mouth. 

“You like it when I hit you don’t you?” he cooed into your ears before lifting your chin up to meet him. His soft lips slowly trailed on your ear, bringing his hot breath right across it. He placed one kiss on your earlobe. Then another, and another, the fourth one he dragged his teeth along the flesh causing a moan from your lips.   
“Tell me what you want, I can see it in your eyes even after I hit you. I see it in your breath, you don't want me to stop. All you have to do is say it.” 

Your hands reached out and clutched to his hand that was still gripping your cheeks. More tears came out as you tried to process what was going on. Did you really want this? Or were you so frightened about what would happen if you said no? You couldn’t lie to yourself about your attraction to him. He was so strong and handsome, with a devilish smile that made you puddy in his hands. You wanted him. There was no denying it, as foolish as it was, you swallowed your pride and opened your mouth. 

“Please. Please don’t stop.” 

A deep inhale.

“Good girl.” 

Faster than you could blink he had lifted you from your chair and thrown you on the glass conference table. Hands grasping to undo your blouse while you reached for his hair. Carding fingers throughout its length, each time you tugged you earned a grunt from him. Once the blouse was unbuttoned he threw it off you and dove in. Lavishing your tits with hot wet kisses, his hands kneading the soft flesh. Each roll was bruising, he seemed determined to mark you. He reached around and ripped your bra clean off so he could see you bare. In a swift movement, he encased your lips with his own as he harshly played with your nipples. Each moan you gave him was like water, he was starving for your juices. Tongue searching your mouth for more and more as his hands dropped to your skirt. 

Pulling back he ordered you to take off the rest of your clothes. Obeying you watched him rub his erection through his trousers. Beginning to unbuckle his belt he held up one hand to halt you. 

“Take that necklace off, I’ll be giving you my own pearl necklace.” 

You removed the necklace and held it out and he quickly snatched and threw it into a pocket. You sat there, breasts heaving, allowing your legs to open slightly as a hand wandered down to your core. 

“Did I say you could do that? Or are you looking for another slap?” 

Letting out an annoyed huff you dropped your hand. He approached you and gripped the inside of your tights. He easily ripped them in two right above your entrance.   
“Hey, I could’ve taken those off!” 

Ripping the garment completely off you he took the remains and shoved them into your mouth along with two fingers. 

“I suggest you keep that tone to yourself.”

“Mmhff.” Fuck. 

His left hand shoved your panties to the side and he slid two fingers in. 

“Oh you're so wet for me, have you been wanting this since I walked in? For me to ruin your little pussy?” 

All you could get out was a moan. His fingers were so thick and long, you were already about to cum from the sensation alone. His eyes snapped back to your core as he thrust in over and over again. Your slick was gushing out on the glass table below you, allowing his fingers to stretch you into any shape he desired. 

Suddenly he pulled out his hands from your holes and pulled out his cock. Fuck it was huge, veiny and angry. Dripping with precum, he spread the arousal leftover from his fingers along the length. 

“I’m going to fuck you now, and you’re going to take it like the good girl I know you are.” 

The tip of his cock prodded your entrance and you gripped onto his shoulders in anticipation. In one swift and painful thrust, he was inside you. Hissing he brought his mouth to your ear again and licked the length. 

“You feel sooo good. Like this pussy was sent from the heavens just for me.” 

He pulled out until the tip was just inside before plunging in again. His pace was brutal, each thrust was ripping your pussy apart. Your moans were filling the room along with the wet slapping of his balls against you. You could feel yourself getting close to cumming, clenching around him the closer you got. You fisted the lower end of his shirt and lifted it just enough so you could catch a better glimpse of his cock punishing your tight pussy. 

“You're close aren’t you, I can feel it around my cock. You want to cum.” You moaned into him in response. “Do it angel, cum on my cock.” His permission caused you to tip over the edge. Clenching around him even tighter than before you came until you felt like you had died and gone to heaven. 

“Oh my god…” he breathed after you came down from your high, drawing your attention down to his cock still impaling you. He looked up at you with lust blown eyes and looked down at his soaked undershirt. You had squirted all over him when you came. Soaking his shirt and the upper portions of his boxers, leaving the table and your panties sopping wet. 

“You really are an angel,” he huffed and then harshly pulled out and shoved you to the floor “Close your eyes.” warning before he came all over your face and neck giving you a brand new “pearl necklace”. Sitting back on your heels you closed your eyes and tried to catch your breath. The sounds coming from in front of you were Ren zipping his soiled pants back up and tucking in his shirt. Moving across the room you heard him grab what you hoped was a towel for you. 

“Here.” he shoved napkins into your hands and ordered you to clean your face from his load. After wiping yourself you quickly attempted to get dressed, sans the tights he had ruined, and looked at him again. 

He reached out his right hand before speaking again. 

“Welcome to the First Order, I expect you in my office tomorrow at 8 am, make sure to leave the tights at home next time.”


	2. It's Already Complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's our first day at work, and we already are in trouble...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW/CW: NSFW like for real he's a nasty boy and we LET HIM   
> This chapter is motivated by the song Freakin Out by The Wrecks, listen to it and just know, the reader is feeling fine.

Waking up the next morning was a task. Your body was sore and you had plenty of bruises to prove that what had happened yesterday had indeed happened. 

You had spent the evening after trying to understand what had happened to you. What caused you to throw yourself at this man, why did you let him hit you, why did you like it? 

You tried to find information about him from the internet but found nothing. It was like he didn’t even exist outside of the First Orders website. You went to sleep nervous about what the next day brought you. 

Waltzing into the building in your best business attire, a black blouse with ruffled long sleeves, tucked into a black and white polka dot pencil skirt. It was playful yet matched the color scheme of the office, topping it off with your red lipstick again. You would’ve worn your necklace but someone had taken it from you. 

After you got off the elevator you approached the front desk and the same receptionist was there to ‘greet’ you. 

“Good morning, can you point me towards Mr. Rens office, I’m the new paralegal.” 

She looked up and barely registered that you were a living person before motioning to the left hallway. Taking the hint you set off and made it down the hallway. 

Near the end of a series of doors, you spotted his nameplate and knocked. 

Nothing. 

You knocked again, always being polite before barging into rooms. 

Still silence. 

You waited, pulling out your phone the time struck 8 AM. You were pretty sure he said to meet in the office at 8, but where was he? 

You waited a few more minutes before pulling out the mirror from your purse and began looking over your makeup. Just then the door flew open and you were met with Ren's smoldering gaze. He was wearing another black tailored suit, this time with a maroon tie, his hair fell in effortless waves and you tried hard to forget what it felt like to tug on them. 

“You’re late.” He turned around and made his way to the opposite side of the desk, “Have a seat.” 

“I wasn’t late, I knocked on the door,” you hastily explained, “You’re the one who didn’t let me in.” 

He ignored your complaining and sat down in a huff. He began gathering papers on his desk and seeming to organize them in different stacks. You weren’t sure what he was doing, it kinda looked like a nervous tick but maybe there was a method to his madness. 

“Well, uh, good morning Mr. Ren,” you cleared your throat, “what case are we preparing for?” 

He said nothing. Ren was entirely too focused on the official papers and shifting his laptop across his desk. 

“Hey, dude are you okay?” 

His eyes snapped up at you. 

“What did you just call me?” 

You gulped. 

He rose to his feet again and circled you, much like yesterday. However, today felt far more predatory. He was looking at his freshly killed meal, ready to tear it apart limb from limb with his powerful teeth. He stood straight in front of you, his arms by his sides. 

“I’m sure I told you what you are to call me yesterday Miss (Y/N).”

You couldn’t look at him, fear wrecked your body. You did not want to cry this early in the day, especially recounting yesterday's escapades. You remembered he could make you cry if you showed you were crumbling. Attempting to strengthen your resolve you looked up at his face, and it all vanished. 

His deep eyes were boring into your soul. He was a starved man and you were his last meal. Swallowing you tried to speak before he cut you off. 

“Oh Angel…” he reached out to stroke your cheek, “you look so pretty when you’re scared.” 

You closed your eyes and took in a deep breath. The pet name was so seductive… you weren’t used to this kind of praise from anyone. You had never been regarded at a prize or something of value from a man, especially a man whom you had met 24 hours ago. It reeked of excitement, mystery, danger but fuck you wanted more. He had made his way back to his chair and sat slowly before addressing you again. 

“Come.” motioning to his lap, “let me help you relax Angel.” 

You stood on rubber tubes, your ankles willing to give out with each step over to him. Your boss, again a man you had just met yesterday, ordering you around like a trained slave. 

He pulled you up to straddle his lap, his face completely neutral as your skirt rose up almost revealing your black thong. His hands found purchase in the tops of your naked thighs, hands barely skimming up and down their length before he gazed into your eyes. 

“Good girl, you didn’t wear tights like I asked.” he breathed into your neck. Nodding you ran your hands across his shoulders up to the base of his neck. Playing with the long hair that settled there, Ren grunted at your fingers. His hands ran up the length of your back and violently grabbed your hair yanking your head back. 

“Did I say you could fucking touch me?” 

You were thrashing against his hands, clawing at him to release your hair. You felt tears beginning to fall down your face and you hastily tried to throw him off. He grasped all your hair in one hand and brought the other to your cunt. His fingers trailing up and down your clothed lips, adding just enough pleasure to cause your screams to turn into little whimpers of pleasure. Ren just groaned as your hips involuntarily bucked against his groin, he was loving the fight you were putting up. 

“Now now Angel, you don’t want me to ruin your makeup again do you?” releasing your head just a little so you could look at him, “Or do you want me to…”

He emphasized his sentence by pushing a finger into your heat. Effectively ripping the black lace-like it was made of nothing. You moaned against him and bucked your hips up towards his hand, desperate for more. 

“Please…” you chanted as he slowly tortured your cunt with slow strokes. “Please Mr. Ren, I-I-I need it.” 

“What do you need?” he hummed back at you, leaning forward to press slow kisses onto your throat. You looked down at him and lurched forward, trapping his lips in a kiss. Your red lipstick smearing across his mouth. Ren growled and yanked your head back again. 

“Those are not words Miss (Y/N).” 

He cut your name off like it was aflame on his tongue. He was not pleased with your invasion but you didn’t care, you wanted him, needed him to quench the yearning between your legs. 

One look at you and Ren pulled out his finger and began undoing his belt. Allowing his cock to spring up against his clothed abdomen, it was even bigger than you remembered. Moaning as he ran his hand up the length. Hoping you were giving him enough to just stick it inside you and never come out. Letting go of your hair, Ren's hands came to your hips and lifted you until the head of his cock was prodding the entrance through your ripped panties. With a grunt, he slammed your hips down on his lap while you screeched in response to his forcefulness. 

“This is what you get for not listening to me,” he seethed at you, “You get fucked until all you know is my cock, understood?” 

“Yes yes yes Mr. Ren, please.” you were moaning on him, desperate for him to start thrusting. His lips caught yours in a brief but searing kiss and suddenly he shoved three fingers into your mouth and bucked his hips upwards at an Olympic pace. You were gagging and moaning around him, starting to salivate from the pressure on your palette. Attempting to meet his thrusts with your hips you kept getting the wind knocked out of you. After a few tries, you just let your arms ragdoll on the sides and basked in the pleasure of Ren pounding you. 

“Fuck,” he said between thrusts, “Your pussy takes my cock so well Angel.”

You moaned around his fingers, drenching them and your chin in spit. 

“Do you like my cock? Say it. Say you love my cock.” 

Pulling his fingers out just enough, you caught your breath. Completely forgetting his question, just trying to focus on getting your breathing back on track. Suddenly his hand gripped your throat with intense strength. 

“Say. It. Now. Or I won’t let you cum.” 

You struggled to respond, only able to nod your head and attempt to pull his hand off your neck. You could feel your ears popping from the pressure he was giving you, but with each thrust, you got a sliver of air that sent waves of pleasure throughout you. You weren’t sure if you could ever speak again, you weren’t even sure you were in reality, all you knew is that his cock was the only thing that mattered. Ramming so hard inside you, filling you to the brim with warmth. You wanted to cum on him, milk him for all his cum, claim him as yours. 

“Yes, yes Mr. Ren I love it.” you choked out. 

A grin running ear to ear broke out on his face when you responded. “You’re so good, Angel. I’m so proud of you.” And then he thrust into you and you were sure your mind had shattered. Your orgasm was immense, you felt your eyes roll back into your head as it crashed into you. Clenching down on his cock you felt yourself spilling out onto him. Moaning and mewling in thanks for his steady pressure that brought you here. 

As you came down Ren released you and threw you to the floor jerking his cock over your face. Mouth open, tongue out, eyes shut, you were ready to receive his load again. 

Knock knock knock

Ren's eyes shot up at the door and he immediately pushed you to the side. His eyes were no longer full of hunger for you but instead the fear of who was there. Quickly you grabbed your purse and grabbed out a baby wipe and slapped it on his face to try and remove the lipstick stains. 

Knock knock knock

They came harder this time. You could hear two voices behind the door now, distinctly murmuring about where Ren was. 

After cleaning his face Ren tucked his hard cock into his pants and attempted to strangle it between his belt and abs. You had fixed your hair and lipstick in your tiny mirror, sitting down in the seat across from his desk, when the door flew open. 

“See I told you he was here,” a female voice came from behind you, “He’s just bad at opening doors.” 

“Of course sweetheart, I never doubted you.” came a rough older male voice alongside her. 

“Hi, honey!” the female rushed in and stood on Rens left. Hugging his shoulders as he still sat in the chair to cover his bulge. 

“Darling,” he spoke to the stranger, “I wasn’t expecting you this morning.” 

“Don’t be foolish now Ren, she was here to see me.” came the unknown male voice, he had made his way into the room behind the female. 

“Daddy and I were about to head for breakfast and I wanted to come see you.” 

You cringed at the nickname the woman had for the older man. You weren’t really sure what was going on between all of them but glancing over a rock hit your stomach. 

She had a ring. 

A big ring. 

On the ring finger. 

That ring finger. 

Adjusting your gaze, your eyes locked with Rens left knuckle. 

He also had a ring. 

On the ring finger. 

The same finger that was just down your throat momentarily. 

You were brought out of your daze by the woman who was speaking towards you. 

“Where are my manners, you must be the new paralegal!”

Smiling back at her you cleared your throat before answering, “Yes I’m (Y/F/N), the new paralegal.” 

“Ugh I’m so glad Kylo hired a new one, someone has to keep him from being such a workaholic. I know you’ll keep an eye on him for me,” she winked back at you before bringing her eyes back to Ren who was staring anywhere but you. She leaned down and whispered something in her ear, you couldn’t make it out, but you were sure it would make you want to puke. 

“Um, (Y/N), this is,” he motioned towards the woman draped over his shoulders. However, he couldn’t finish his thought before she butt in, “I’m Rey, Kylos wife!” She looked so proud of herself, so happy and smiling like she had the most perfect marriage with a man who loved her. She was like a puppy being brought a new chew toy, she was practically buzzing around him.

“And I’m her father, and the lead lawyer here at the First Order,” the older man reached a hand out toward you, “A pleasure to meet you Miss (Y/N).” 

“Pleasures all mine Mr. Palpatine sir.” returning your hand to your lap you waited. For something, anything to wake you from this nightmare. Counting down from 100 you hoped to be thrown out of your misery and it would all just be a dream. 

Unfortunately, it wasn’t a dream. And sweet ignorant little Rey was the victim in it. She had no idea her husband was fucking you, praising you, tasting you just moments before. The guilt was almost unbearable. 

“Sweetheart we better get going so they can work, Rens got quite the case coming up.” Palpatine teased at his son-in-law. Rey nodded and then kissed Ren on the cheek before walking over to your side. 

“Would it be weird if we hugged? I’m a hugger and I’m so happy that Kylo found someone he likes enough to work with again.” her arms were outstretched and waiting for confirmation. You really did not want to hug her, but fuck she was so happy, she thought that you were the key to getting quality time with her husband back.   
When in reality you were a lock he had shoved his key in over and over even though they shouldn’t have fit. Taking in a deep breath you stood and let Rey smother you. 

“Ugh it was so nice to meet you! I can’t wait to see you again.” She pulled away beaming with pride, and practically skipped out the door, after blowing a kiss at Ren, Palpatine following her trail. The door shut tight behind them. 

Silence blanketed the room. 

He was married. 

He was fucking married.

That’s a deal-breaker, right? 

So why did you get back on your knees in front of him again…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to add, I'm not a Reylo, I'm anti reylo actually, which is why I made her the wife we are betraying. I love her character in the movies until TROS. I'm sorry but if you're a Rey fan I wouldn't come here with the expectation of a happy marriage :(


	3. A Night In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a week with Ren he checks in with how you're doing, and things get heavy. Then you have a nice night with Finn and Rose but oh no :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW/CW: There is violence mentioned in the chapter, but its not against us, along with ya know general porn

You and Ren had spent the remainder of the week working on an upcoming criminal case without issue. He had made no mention of the encounter you shared with Rey and didn’t try anything sexual with you aside from simple brushes against your thigh or the small of your back while in passing. In reality, it was like almost nothing had happened between the two of you. 

But you knew. He knew. And that was enough to have you sink into a bottomless pit of guilt every night when you went home from work. How amazing it had felt when he touched you, caressed you, kissed you, fucked you. You couldn’t forget, no matter how heartbreaking it was to look at his sweet wife minutes after being impaled by his cock. She had no idea and it was killing you that you wanted his attention still. 

By the time Friday had come you felt like you had just dreamt the whole affair with Ren, you were packing up your bags in his office when you heard the door shut and lock behind your back. 

“How was your first week?” 

Ren. Of course it was him, he had barely spoken to you outside of prepping and you had hoped to keep it that way. 

You cleared your throat, “It was fine, I felt like I learned a lot.” 

“Oh did you?” 

Silence. 

“What did you learn might I ask?”

You set your bag down in your chair and turned to face him. 

Fuck he was handsome, he was dressed in a dark navy blue suit that hugged his frame perfectly. Everything he wore was coordinated, all the way down to his watch. You even noticed he had a little 5’oclock shadow coming in today, which made his face even more attractive. A small part of you was screaming to stop looking at him like that, he was married for god sake. But the louder and albeit dumber part of your brain wanted to play with fire. 

“Angel, are you going to answer me?” 

You melted. It had been so long since he had called you that. You had been replaying it over and over in your head every night as you masturbated to the thought of him. Wishing his mouth was the one bringing you to ecstasy instead of your vibrator shoved between your legs. Letting out a soft whimper you sat down at the edge of the chair and looked back at him. 

“I learned,” you gulped, “that you’re married, Mr. Ren.” 

“Hmm.” he started closing in on you, his hands clasped behind his back, dropping his voice dangerously low, “What else did you learn Angel?”

“I learned,” taking in a deep breath, “I learned that you’ve been a bad boy.” 

Ren chuckled and came in front of you, bending at his hips to be at eye level. His hands came around and caressed your cheeks.

“A bad boy?”

“Yes. A very bad boy.”

His lips brushed over yours while his fingers raked through your hair. Your eyes fluttered shut at the pleasure of them against your scalp. You accidentally let out a moan in response to his pets and he took that as an in. Rens lips crushed yours and began licking away for entry, rubbing his hands over your cheeks and hair, he moaned when your mouth opened to accept him. Your hands slithered up to his hair and tugged on the length, as he moaned into you. Both of you were swapping saliva and moans before Ren dropped one hand to your legs. 

“May I, Angel?”

You nodded in response and Ren dropped to his knees in front of you, spreading your knees and pulling your hips to the edge of the chair. Two hands snaked up your thighs and pushed your skirt to your hips. Hooking his fingers into your panties, he ripped them to the floor and began kissing up your right leg. Slowly and carefully caressing all the way up to your waiting core, until he switched sides and began kissing up the opposite leg. You were throbbing in anticipation, hoping that he would finally pay attention to your center. 

After kissing up to your thighs he brought your core to his mouth, harshly exhaling on the folds, clenching from his breath ghosting your folds. Glancing up to you he spoke, “Do bad boys get to eat your little pussy?” 

“I don’t know if you deserve it, Mr. Ren…”

“Hmm,” he dug his thumbs to your center, spreading your folds out in front of him, “Are you sure about that?”

You watched as his eyes were devouring your cunt, you were sure you could come just from the closeness of his face alone. Swallowing slowly you thought about what Ren could do to be a good boy, clearly, he was doing so many naughty things. But you also were playing right in his hands and it was clear he wanted you. 

“Angel, don’t make me ask twice.” 

You opened your mouth to respond to him but were interrupted by a hand smacking down on your pussy. Lurching forward you tried to push Ren away, tears flowing down your cheeks as you cried at his hit. 

“I don’t think you understand how bad I can be, Angel,” leaning down he kissed your folds, “So I suggest you take what I give you.”

At that he smacked your pussy again, hitting it in the right way to make your clit buzz from the sudden shock. Your scream turned into a moan as Ren began licking and sucking at your folds. Trying to memorize each piece to his memory. He was drinking down every juice that flowed out of you, his nose pressing onto your clit. Pulling away from your entrance he shoved two fingers in before diving towards your clit. Biting and sucking at it without relenting, making your squirm in your seat, begging for more. 

“Your moans are music to my ears, Angel.”

Ren was pressing his fingers as far as they could go inside you, in and out of your hole, stretching you for what was to come. He didn’t break eye contact with you, just staring at your pleasure crumpled face as he fingerfucked you. Suddenly he pulled away earning a whine from you. 

“Please Mr. Ren, I need more.”

“Oh I know you do,” he was up on his feet trying to quickly unbuckle his pants, “I can’t wait to sink into your tight pussy.”

He eagerly lined himself up and plunged in without any warning. Ren moaned into your shoulder before he started his pace, placing his hands on your hips to help anchor to your core. You were bouncing against the chair, clawing at his back and crying out for more. Ren’s lips crashed into yours and the two of you drank in each other’s pleasure, one of his hands dropped to your stomach and began pressing down. 

“Do you feel that, Angel?” he growled in your ear, “That’s my fat cock in you, ruining your pussy for anyone else.” 

Your eyes rolled back at his words, you wanted him to ruin you, you knew no one else could do this for you. He grasped one of your hands and placed it below his on your stomach, fucking into you harder. 

“Tell me what you feel, Angel.” 

Your mind was blank, all you could feel was the clenching of your pussy around his cock, punishing you with his brutal pace.

“I feel your cock,” you swallowed thickly, pressing your hand down harder as he fucked your cunt harder, “You’re fucking me so deep Ren, please don’t stop.”

“You don’t want me to stop destroying your pussy?”

“Be a good boy and don’t stop. Please, Ren.”

Your begging turned into sobs when he started rubbing your clit, hurling you towards orgasm with each circle. 

“Yes, cum for me Angel, let me feel it.”

You fell forward and cried into his shoulder as it hit. Clenching around his cock you were gushing from his pace, nothing could stop you. The sensations of him deep in your gut was enough to make you blackout. Ren himself was moaning as you came down from your high.

His thrusts started to lose their rhythm until you felt it. His hot cum was pouring out of his cock into you. Pumping you full of his juices while he rested his forehead against yours. Staying there until he felt like he was spent from your cunt. As he pulled out he watched his cum fall down onto the floor below, wiping it with his fingers before pushing it back into you. 

“This stays in here, Angel. When I call you tonight you better still have my cum inside you, do you understand?”

“Yes, Mr. Ren.”

He got up and tucked himself away before moving to sit at his desk. He had already checked out from the moment of passion the two of you had just been locked into. Leaving you swimming in a sea of emotions as you picked up your panties and slipped them on, careful to not lose any of his cum. 

“Have a nice weekend Miss (Y/N).”

\-----  
Finn and Rose had burst into your apartment at 7:30. Armed with bottles of wine and plenty of snacks for your weekly ‘wine and cheese’ time. A tradition all three of you had started when you met years ago and after your first week working for Kylo Ren, you needed a stiff drink. Everyone gathered around the coffee table in your living room before the questions started. 

“So (Y/N),” Finn took a swing from the bottle and set it down before staring at you, “find any jobs yet?” You choked on a cracker, shit, you hadn’t told them you started working for the First Order. Finn was not going to be pleased, he had hated his time and always vowed to never to stoop to their levels to win cases. He thought all of them were bastards that didn’t deserve licenses to practice. You wondered if he knew Ren or if he had joined the firm after Finn’s time…

“Earth to (Y/N), did you get a job?” 

“Oh, um yeah.”

“Ooo where at?” Rose chimed in. 

A deep breath, “At the First Order.” 

Silence. 

Finn was staring at the plate of cheese in front of him, Rose’s eyes were flitting back and forth between you and Finn. You could tell he was trying to keep it together. 

“What?” 

“I’m a paralegal, working under one of the lawyers there.”

“Who?”

You didn’t answer, you could feel his gaze, he knew something about Ren. Something that he wanted to hide from you. You looked over at Rose who was chugging from the bottle in an effort to stay out of it. 

“(Y/N). What. Lawyer.”

“Kylo Ren.”

Finn shot up and yelled/screamed at the top of his lungs. 

“WHAT!?” He started pacing, “I told you not to work for those people (Y/N), they are bad, and that man is the worst of them.” 

“You don’t know that Finn, I’ve spent the week with him and he’s been-”

“That’s just because he’s trying to get in your pants (Y/N)!”

You froze. There was no way Finn could know that you and Ren had been having an affair, you wouldn’t even call it an affair. It was like an attraction that you couldn’t stop, your bodies were drawn together, aching for release from one another. The thought of Ren sent you over the edge, remembering his words even just from this evening to answer the phone when he called. The two of you never spoke about what you did outside of the moments of passion so it was clear that Ren wasn’t making you his ‘mistress’ it just seemed like if he had the chance he would fuck you and if not he would leave you alone, no arrangement, no nothing. 

“(Y/N) did you not hear me?” 

You snapped up from the floor and met Finn’s eye line, “I don’t know what you’re talking about Finn, Ren has been nothing but nice to me this week, hasn’t even made a-”

“You know he’s married right?”

You narrowed your eyes at that, “Of course I know Finn. I’ve met her.”

Finn took a deep breath and reached up to grab your shoulders, “Have I ever told you why I left the First Order?”

“Yeah, you told us that you didn’t like working for them and wanted to help real people.” 

Rose let out a sigh, you shot a look over to her. Did she know something you didn’t? Finn had told you for years he left because of an issue between him and one of the lawyers there but never gave you the details, could the lawyer in question be Ren?

“Sit down, I need to tell you the truth…” 

You sat down and waited for Finn reaching for your glass of wine, Rose had grabbed your hand and squeezed it for reassurance. 

“So when I worked there, I was a lawyer with Ren,” a big swig, “and things were great. We worked well together, I would even call him a friend at the time.” Finn let out a sigh, “But then I saw something I wasn’t supposed to see and he turned on me.” You gulped, what did that mean? Ren seemed like a reserved man, scary looking, but you never thought the demeanor he had was real danger. 

“I walked in on him and our paralegal having sex in his office, like a week after his wedding to Rey.” You gasped, Rose’s grip tightened in your hand, Ren had fucked his other paralegals? Were you a pawn in his little game or was he just so sex-starved that he threw himself at any woman other than his wife? 

“I ran out of there and tried to process what I saw when he caught me and threw me against the wall,” Finn started to tear up, “He told me that under no circumstance was I to breathe a word of what I saw or else he would take care of me himself.” 

“What happened Finn.”

“I told him that I was going to tell Rey, she was so sweet and she loved him so much I didn’t want to help him lie to her,” you walked over to Finn and placed a hand on him, he was trembling. 

“And the next thing I knew I woke up in a hospital bed, with Ren staring at me from a seat. He broke my arm (Y/N) and some of my ribs. He was so angry at me. Once I was awake enough he slid me a check and told me never to talk to him or Rey again or else he would do much worse.”

Finn started sobbing, he was so broken and scared. He trusted Ren, even thought of him as a friend, and he beat him. Beat him. You were so upset, what would Ren do if you told them about sleeping with him? Would he make good on his word with Finn? 

“I’m so sorry Finn. I didn’t know that happened, why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I just wanted to make sure you were safe (Y/N), I used the money to fund the firm-”

Your phone started ringing. 

Oh fuck, Ren was calling you. In the middle of this bombshell. 

“Do you want me to get that (Y/N)?” Rose reached for your phone. 

“No,” you blurted out and lunged, “I can get it, I’ll be right back.” Shutting yourself into your bedroom you answered the call. “Hello, this is (Y/N)”

“Angel, I have five minutes,” you could hear his labored breathing, he must have been touching himself when he called you, “I need to hear your tight little cunt and it better have my cum in it.”

You gulped, “Yes Mr. ren, what do you want me to do?”

“I want you to fuck yourself and tell me what you feel, Angel.” You heard him through the phone fisting his cock to the thought of your pussy still full of his cum. You locked the door to your room and got on the bed and slithered your hand down to your wet slit. Rubbing tight circles over your clit you sighed into the phone. 

“Oh yes Angel, tell me, are you rubbing your little clit for me?” 

“Yes Mr. Ren, I’m so wet for you already.”

“Mhmm.”

You traced a line up and down your slit before dipping a finger into your entrance, gasping when you felt your wetness. Your juices were mixing with the leftover cum he had given you, making it so easy to slip a finger inside. “Oh fuck.”

“Are you fingering yourself like I asked Angel? Is your little cunt swallowing you?”

You moaned again and set your phone on speaker and laid it down between your legs and started fucking yourself on your fingers, moaning so Ren could hear how wet you are for him. The slick slapping of your hand was filling the room, you were sure he could tell how close you were already. 

“Angel, after you cum you’re going to lick your fingers clean and tell me what it’s like.”

“Yes please, Ren can I cum, please.”

“Cum Angel, cum for me.”

You groaned as your orgasm hit, clenching around your fingers while you squirted on the bed. Fucking yourself with a mixture of both of your cums, it was euphoric. You heard Ren grunt and groan through the phone before saying your name while he came on himself. Pulling out you brought the phone back to your ear and made a big show out of licking yourself clean. 

“How is it?” he breathed through the phone.

“You don’t know what you’re missing out on.” You heard his grin through the phone before he said goodnight. Leaving you to clean up and face your friends, the same friends who loathed the man you just came with. 

Should be a fun rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting complicated, what will the reader do about nasty boy Ren?


	4. You're Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after wine and cheese was already rough, before you had a visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW/CW: NSFW PORN MAN PORN, mentions of cheating, mentions of alcohol, Ren is a snarky bitch but I LOVE IT, excessive control

You, Finn and Rose, had stayed up until the crack of dawn. Just talking, crying, singing, and dancing together like nothing had changed. You did miss them, even though it had only been a week since the business went under, it was something you missed dearly. Having people at work you just could hang out with, get to know, and just feel comfortable around. The First Order was anything but comfortable, the building was large and mirrored and every room was sterile and devoid of light. The only person you had spent any ‘quality’ time with was Ren and that was just because he was fucking you. 

You woke up on the floor of your bedroom, wrapped in your favorite tie-dye blanket, sun pouring in through your windows. Fuck it must be so late already, you rolled on your side and prepared for the incoming headache when you stood up. Pushing up onto your hands you lifted your head and scanned the hallway, clothes were spread out along with leftover solo cups. You couldn’t hear any snoring though, Finn and Rose must’ve gone home this morning. 

Shuffling forward you trudged into your bathroom, blanket in tow. Rinsing your face and gargling with mouthwash you heard a loud banging on your front door. Spitting out you turned and looked down your hallway, was someone at the door? Why would someone be at the door? The noise stopped and you started going on with your morning, reaching for the ibuprofen, then the banging came again, louder and faster. 

Jesus someone wants in. 

Wrapping yourself up you walked down the hall to the front door. “I’m coming keep your pants on!” you screamed as you whipped open the door. 

Black. You were met with black. A tower of black clothing, accompanied by a very large chest that was rising and falling in anger. You sighed and looked up to see a pale expressionless face, eyes covered in black Ray-Bans. “Do you know what time it is Angel?” Ren said before shoving you aside and barging into your living space. 

“What are you doing here,” you asked, “How do you know where I live?”

Ren took off his sunglasses and was glancing around your apartment, his face was less than impressed. He walked to your kitchen table and lifted up an empty wine bottle like it was diseased, he was ignoring you like usual, but this time he was in your territory and you needed answers. 

“Ren, what are you doing-”

“You live like this?” he motioned to your thrown apart living room. Things got slightly crazy after you got off the phone last night. Your friends and you had spent the evening destroying your apartment with drinking and dancing, you had your work cut out for you when it was time to clean. 

“And what is that hideous thing around you?” he walked over and ripped your blanket off leaving you standing in front of him freezing. 

“Wait,” you reached for the blanket he had started tucking under his arm, “that’s my favorite one, give it back!”

“No.” 

“Why not, why are even here-” 

He cut you off again, “Why haven’t you been answering your phone (Y/N)?” 

You stared at him confused, you had answered him last night just like he had asked you to, after that you had left your phone in your room so you could be present with your friends. 

During your standoff Ren had started walking around the apartment, moving trash and clothes around with his feet before he turned down the hallway towards your bedroom. 

“Wait, come back here!” you shouted and ran after him. 

Inside your room, Ren was fumbling through your belongings, running his hands over paperwork on your desk. Scanning each picture taped to your walls, tracing the spines of books on your shelves. He looked like he was trying to collect information about you, but also it was pretty rude he invited himself in, stole your blanket, and was now going through your personal stuff. 

“Are you going to tell me what you’re doing here?” 

He turned and looked at you, “I missed you, Angel, I came to see you.” 

Your eyebrows furrowed, what is he talking about? He missed you? Doesn’t he have a life? Or more importantly, wouldn’t Rey notice he was gone? You both had never talked about what was going on behind the doors of his office. You had assumed it was a no strings attached thing, but something about him being here felt… odd. Almost like he was trying to infiltrate your life outside of work. 

Ren approached you, placing a hand on your cheek, bringing his lips dangerously close to yours. His eyes were searching your face, settling on your mouth, “Did you miss me?”. Caressing your cheek with his thumb he waited for your response. 

“I-I-I don’t know” you stuttered. 

“Hmm,” he licked his lips, “would you like me to remind you?” 

“What are you talking about?” you whispered back.

Suddenly, Ren had you slammed against your bed, one hand was cradling your head while the other was pinning you down by your throat. His face invading your senses as he growled at you. 

“Little one,” he hissed, “you’re asking far too many questions, it’s very rude of you to be interrupting me when I come seeking comfort.” 

You gulped. His eyes were wild and searching you again, he looked ready to pounce on you. His grip tightening on your throat, he was waiting to see if you would protest. 

“Very good, now I will tell you what I’m here for, and in return, I expect one response from you. Nothing more or less or you will be punished. Understood?” 

You nodded. 

Ren slid his hand from behind your head to run patterns down your arm. Breathing deeply when he saw your body shaking under him. You were terrified, but the display also left you wanting more, feeling a deep longing grow between your legs with every pass of his fingers. 

“I am here because you’re mine, Angel,” he brought his lips up for a small kiss, “I can do or say or take anything I want from you.”

Another kiss, slower, gentler as he paused between demands. 

“That means, when I call you, you had better answer (Y/N). No matter what, even if you’re passed out from whatever you were doing the night before.” Leaning to kiss you again, his hand brushed down towards your core. 

“What we are going to be doing is entirely up to me,” another kiss, “and you’re going to take it like the good girl I know you are. Do you understand?” 

His grip loosened around your neck and you swallowed, “Yes Ren.” 

“Good.” 

He kissed you again, pressing his tongue to your lips, requesting entry. You opened your mouth and began kissing him back. His grip on you loosened to cradle the base of your head while your mouths moved in tandem. Fuck he was a good kisser, he knew exactly what he was searching for. 

His body fell next to you on the bed, the mattress creaking under his weight while he grabbed at your sleep shirt. You gladly obliged, sitting up and tearing off your clothes so that you were naked next to him. Ren quickly tore off his shoes and threw off his shirt and pants to join you. 

Your naked bodies were pressed against one another, hands searching for each other’s sweet spots. Moans and grunts filled the air as you tangled a hand in his hair, Ren latching to your neck, while you tugged at his erect cock between you both. It was already leaking precum, begging to be brought to your heat. You bucked your hips up to him to show how ready you were. “Please Ren, I need it.” you moaned at him. 

Pulling his lips from suckling your neck, he brought his hand down to your center. Teasing you with his fingers. “Already so wet, and we haven’t even started.” You moaned when he swiped past your clit to trail his fingers to your entrance, you didn’t even care about the foreplay. You needed him inside you. Rolling him off you, you mounted his hips, pressing the tip of his cock at your hole. 

You plunged your hips into his, trapping his cock deep inside you. Seething at the immense stretching he caused you, but you pushed through the pain. Bouncing up and down his cock, covering him in your slick. Ren was moaning under you bringing his hands to your hips to try and regain the control he had lost. 

“Fuck, your pussy is too tight Angel.” he hissed at you before pulling you flush with his chest. His right arm holding you down while his left hand lifted your hips just a little. He began thrusting up into you and a rapid pace. Balls slapping upwards while he grunted into your shoulder. “Is this what you wanted? For me to ruin you again?” 

“Yes Ren, please,” you sobbed into his chest. 

“You missed me didn’t you, my cock inside you, claiming you.” he thrust into you harder to prove his point. “Tell me. Now.” 

“I missed you, fuck,” you cried, “I missed your cock Ren please don’t stop.” 

He hummed at you and pulled you off of him. Standing up quickly he twisted your body to where your face was hanging off the bed, staring at his cock. “Open wide, Angel” he warned before shoving his cock into your mouth. His hands gripped to your hips and suddenly you were lifted off the bed. Legs wrapped around his head, face in your cunt while he brought one hand to the back of your head and the other to keep your hips still against him. 

Thrusting into your throat Ren moaned into your folds. Nipping and sucking at you, while he fucked your mouth relentlessly. Pulling your clit into his mouth he attacked it with his tongue causing you to gag on him from below. “Breathe Baby, I don’t want you spitting up any of my cum.” 

You moaned around him as best you could, rolling your hips so he would make contact with your clit again. You were so close you could almost feel it. The hand holding your hip came up and shoved two fingers into your heat causing you to squeal. Shoving his cock in and out you felt he was close too. 

In a flash both of you were stilling. Cumming into each other’s mouths, breath leaving your bodies. You were sure Ren was going to drop you on your head if he didn’t relax soon. Tapping his thighs to try and get his attention he fell forward onto your bed, earning a loud snap. Spitting out his cock you tried to pry him off of you. 

“Ren,” you coughed, “you need to get off me please, you weigh so much.” Grunting he placed his hands on the bed and pushed up from you. Immediately you rolled to your side to try and catch your breath. The bed crashed to the left, Ren groaning as he sunk back down into the blankets. “I think I broke something.” 

“You think?” you giggled, placing your face on his sweaty back. The two of you had never shared in post-sex before, Ren had never been fully naked in front of you. He had always tucked himself away immediately following his release. This was a new thing that caused you strange feelings, it felt too familiar. Shutting your eyes you willed them to go away as Ren sighed and started to push himself up again. “Does your shitty apartment have a shower or a hose?” 

“Ugh,” you rolled your eyes, “follow me.” 

Standing on wobbly legs you walked to the bathroom. It was a decent size for you, standard stand up shower, toilet, a sink you could hoard makeup on. Being a one-bedroom in Boston you were lucky to even have space for a towel rack. But now the room felt small, with Ren following behind you, his size was almost too big to make it through the door and now he was going to try and fit in your shower. For fucks sake he had to duck to even get in here with you. 

Turning on the water, running your hands through it until it was the right temperature you shot Ren a look. He was just standing there, staring at you, face a mask aside from his shallow breathing from the intense fucking he had given you. Glancing down you noticed he was still wearing his wedding ring, which bathed you in shame. Hopefully, the water was hot enough to wash away your sins. 

You stepped in and immediately sighed, you needed this after your heavy drinking last night. You were gross and sweaty even before Ren got here, so it was nice to feel the water running down your face. Suddenly you were pressed into the wall of the shower. 

“Your shower doesn’t even cover my head,” he grumbled while pulling you back to be flush with him. There was already so little space and suddenly you were feeling claustrophobic from him manhandling you around. “Just duck and stop complaining, you’re giving me a headache.”

“Watch your tone, Angel.” 

“No, you watch it,” you huffed tilting your head up to stare at the bottom of his chin, “you’re in my house so shut up and hand me my shampoo.” 

Ren took in a deep breath before reaching out and grabbing what you asked for. “Thank you.”. You leaned forward to try and get out of the spray of water so you could properly wash your hair. Lifting the bottle up to wordlessly hand back to him, to your surprise he again complied and squirted some into his own hand before putting it back down. The rest of the shower together was spent in silence, neither of you said a word unless you needed him to grab something for you. Once you were done you single filed out and you threw a towel at him as you pulled your hair up into a knot. 

“Thank you,” he mumbled as you walked out, butt naked except for the towel harboring your hair. Once in your room, you remembered the bed. It was severely broken, the box spring had been pushed through the bed frame, bent metal was all over the edges. He had seriously broken your bed, your very expensive bed. “Fuck,” you groaned and walked to your closet to try and get clothed for the rest of your day of cleaning. Behind you, you heard Ren's voice. He was apparently on the phone with someone. Probably his wife whom he doesn’t love enough to be faithful, you seethed while pulling clothes above your head. Throwing your towel off and combing your hair you walked to the doorway to try and listen in. You wondered what excuse he had used to leave her, Rey was probably begging him to come home. A small sliver of jealousy ran through you, as horrible as it was, you somehow liked that he sought you out. It made you feel wanted, which also made you want to throw up. 

Groaning you turned around and kept getting dressed when Ren came in behind you. “Start packing up your things Angel, I’m sick of your fucking apartment.” 

“What are you talking about,” you huffed, “what things?” 

Snatching his pants from the floor, “I bought you a new apartment, so pick out the things you want to keep because I’m tired of being in this heap.” You stood there dumbfounded, he what? He wants you to pack up your stuff to go where?

“Excuse me?” you managed to squeak out. 

“Your apartment is much too small to accommodate me,” he paused as he pulled his shirt over his head, running his hand through his wet hair, “So pick out some things you want. My men will be here in an hour to move you out.” 

You couldn’t believe it, this couldn’t be real. Yeah, he had broken your bed and complained the entire time he was in the house, but really? He just bought you a new one? Your head was spinning while Ren had started to gather things from your wall and place them on your desk, like he knew what you kept sacred. 

“What you’re supposed to say is ‘thank you’ when someone buys you something (Y/N),” turning to face you, “Now either you help me or I’m throwing everything away.” 

“Okay.”

Time to move you guess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhh i guess we are getting a new apartment? ALSO HIS MEN ARE COMING TO MOVE US?! i wonder who they could be...


	5. Trash and Treasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's moving day! Ren is here to give you more presents and oh you'll be thanking him in the best way possible!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are no warnings for this chapter! Make sure to click on the links in the endnotes so you can have some visual help about our characters 'gifts'. We also get to meet the Knights of Ren!

The next hour was filled with Ren making two separate piles throughout your home, what he had defined as ‘trash’ and ‘acceptable’ amongst your belongings. You felt like you were in a fever dream, nothing you said really seemed to register in his head while tearing items from shelves and walls. 

“Ren wait,” you pleaded as he started to go through your closet, “can’t we talk about this?”

He hummed at you, ripping clothes down from their hangers and throwing them into distinct piles. All your work clothes were falling into the ‘acceptable’ category but your comfy clothes, everything that had an ounce of color, he deemed ‘trash’. 

“Just stop for a minute please!” 

Finally looking at you he crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for you to speak. Before you could even say your piece a knock came from the front door. 

“Finally,” Ren sighed as he breezed past you towards the front of your former apartment. Huffing, you followed him to see whoever had decided to grace you with a visit. The door had opened before you had the chance to enter the living space and in walked 6 giant men, dressed in black from head to toe. “Uh… hi?” you squeaked out at their hulking forms. 

“Angel, these are my men,” he gestured towards the group, “they will be taking the stuff I’ve organized for you.” Turning his back to you he started spouting off commands to the men, telling them to grab what was to go in the moving van and what was to go in the ‘donate’ van. Not one of them had said a word, you weren’t sure how they knew Ren but they listened to him like trained dogs. You cowered behind Ren as they flooded the apartment, grabbing boxes and bins and shuffling them out into the hallway. Within minutes they had already cleared the living room while Ren returned to your bedroom. 

“Wait,” you chased after him, “shouldn’t I get to decide what I want to keep? And who are those guys? Why don’t they talk?” 

“They are none of your concern Angel, just like what I let you keep and what I rid you of,” he stated as if he was a scolding parent. You didn’t understand what was happening, of course, you were grateful whenever you were given gifts but this wasn’t so simple, he had bought you an entire house. That changed a lot of things, you had no say in where it was, or even what things you got to bring there. You felt yourself slowly succumbing to tears as the men made it back to your room while Ren barked orders. “I think I need a glass of water,” you whispered. 

Walking back into your kitchen you saw nothing, all your furniture was gone. All that remained was layers of dust that coated the wood floors and hooks on the walls. You searched your cabinet for a glass but saw that the men had already gone through them, nothing was left. You leaned on the kitchen island and finally started crying. Covering your face in your hands you mourned over the loss of your things, unsure of what Ren had even filtered through in the last hour. What if he threw away all your family photos? Or your favorite old books? Or worse, was he going to throw away your tie-dye blanket? It has become such a comforting item to you. It came all the way from home when you had left for college, it was the only thing you had once you moved away. 

You sobbed even harder at the thought of never having those precious items back, you couldn’t even hear the footsteps passing you. Suddenly there was a hand on your upper back, slowly massaging between your shoulders. You lifted your head and looked over to find not Ren, but one of the moving men. His face was soft yet still had an aura of danger like Rens, but his eyes were seafoam blue*. Flinching away you wiped your eyes and nose on your shirt sleeve, “sorry I don’t know what came over me.” 

“It’s alright,” he paused, “Ren can be overbearing sometimes.” 

You snorted, “Overbearing is one thing, but this, this is too much. He won’t even listen to me!” 

He smiled at you, “Sometimes it seems like he’s going overboard, but he just wants what’s best for you.” 

“Why though, it doesn’t make any sense.” 

“I don’t know,” he turned to leave the kitchen but stalled and looked over his shoulder, “But I do know that you’re the first one that we’ve met since Rey.” 

Then he was gone. The first one since Rey, does that mean that Ren hadn’t taken a ‘mistress’ since his marriage? That seemed like a lie… especially since Finn had told you he was caught with their former paralegal. But something about this new information was unsettling, why were you being given this special treatment? This was something, along with many things, you would have to talk to Ren about. 

\-----

Finally, the apartment was empty. You were doing your final walkthrough when Ren came up and snatched your phone from your hands. 

“What are you-” 

“I need to call your landlord,” he said while unlocking your phone, how he knew your password you had zero clue. You sighed and waited for him to make the call. He motioned to your purse and spoke between rings, “You’ll be following me in your car, so get downstairs and park behind me.” 

Rolling your eyes you followed his command as he started speaking to your old landlord, you had never left before a lease was up, and honestly, you were curious how Ren was going to get you out of the contract. But he was a lawyer, so you weren’t too worried. Heading downstairs and out the front of the building, there were three vehicles waiting for you. In the front was a blacked-out Porsche**, with the license plate K.R., didn’t seem very subtle to be driving in a busy New York neighborhood. Behind that was a gap where you assumed your car would be going, followed by two black moving vans with the boy band Ren brought huddled out front. Turning to your left you walked to the parking garage to get your car. You wondered what Ren would say about it since he hated your apartment so badly, it wasn’t a terrible car but it wasn’t a luxury one like his. Sighing you brought it out front and parked behind Ren just as he was coming out the front doors. He approached your car and tapped on the passenger window, motioning for you to roll it down. 

“Follow me,” he threw your phone down in the seat, “and keep up, I drive fast.” 

“Okey-doke,” you smirked at him, of course, he drove fast. Everyone in New York drove fast. 

\-----

To say Ren drove ‘fast’ was an understatement. 

He drove like a maniac, he didn’t follow one single traffic rule aside from stopping at red lights. He bobbed and weaved through cars you almost lost him twice, thank god for his obvious car or else he would’ve blended in with the rest of New York. 

After about 10 minutes of driving, you noticed that the vans behind you had separated off in two different directions. You thought about calling Ren and telling him that your furniture was going the wrong way when he suddenly turned into a parking lot, without a blinker. He had backed into a parking spot by the time you found him and pointed to the side next to him as he crawled out of his car. Climbing out of your own car you finally took in the place he had taken you to, a car dealership. 

A fucking car dealership. 

Not just any dealership, but a Range Rover dealership. 

You shook your head to try and snap out of the obvious dream you were in while Ren jogged up to the main building. Coming back to reality you took off after him, throwing the glass doors open to see him leaned against the front counter speaking to a salesman. 

“I need you to draw up a contract for me, along with an offer for,” pointing out to your car, “that vehicle. We will be paying in full.” 

“Yes sir, right away sir.” the salesman responded. 

Walking up to Ren you grabbed his wrist and pulled him away so you could get his full attention. “What the hell are we doing here,” you spoke through your teeth, “why are you selling my car Ren?”

“Angel,” he sighed before leaning in to kiss your forehead, “I won’t be caught dead in that car, and I won’t have my lover caught in one either.” 

Lover? He called you his lover… you loosened your grip on his wrist while taking in a shaky breath. This was not the place you wanted to have this conversation at, but it seemed like Ren was doing everything in his power to control your life. You just wanted answers, it didn’t seem like that big of a deal. 

“Now let’s go pick one out, it must be black though.” Then he spun around and dragged you to the car lot. 

After about an hour and a half of test driving different cars, Ren kept nitpicking every small detail of each one. He had to make sure that the inside was perfect, no scratches or dents. He also seemed to be obsessed with seeing how far the seats reclined, or if the back seats could fold down, lots of strange requests. You just assumed he was worried if he could fit his long legs in it comfortably since you were his ‘lover’. You had, even though you had little say, finally found the one you liked. It was black, like he stipulated, with a leather interior and state of the art technology inside. It was definitely the most expensive car you had ever driven, you were practically salivating at the idea of getting to call it yours. 

Heading back inside the salesman talked pricing with Ren, who just threw a card at him and signed the paperwork like he wasn’t dropping almost 100K on a vehicle. Once all the bureaucratic work was done the man smiled at you and handed you the new keys to your car, which Ren snatched from you and got up without a word. You glanced at the man and said a simple thank you since Ren was clearly in no mood to be polite to anyone today. Outside he helped you gather your belongings from your old car and organize them in the Range Rover. 

Before taking your old keys inside Ren pinned your front to the car and brought his lips to your ear. 

“Do you like your new toy?” he cooed while slowly thrusting his hips into your ass. 

You tried to suppress a moan when you felt the hard outline of his cock through his pants. Grinding backward you threw him a glare over your shoulder. 

“I haven’t gotten the chance to play with it,” you mused back. Ren growled in your ear before licking a stripe down your neck, tracing your jugular vein. Pulling away he snarled before heading back to his vehicle. 

Once you were behind the wheel again, Ren tore out of the dealership. Seemingly leading the way towards your new apartment. Fuck you had forgotten about that, what would you tell your friends? You were sure it was going to be expensive, and clearly something out of your price range. Maybe you could just tell them you started seeing a sugar daddy. It wasn’t like that was any different than what was really happening, you smiled at the thought of Ren being your ‘sugar daddy’, maybe if he was being particularly difficult you’d throw that idea on him. 

Ten minutes had gone by before Ren entered a residential neighborhood, looking around you realized that you were in a very rich area. Rich meaning that the brownstones over here were around one million on a good day. Gawking at the beautiful architecture you didn’t even notice Ren had pulled off and parked until he leaned on his horn so you would stop. While you were parking one of the vans had pulled up behind you as Ren was walking up the steps, two at a time. One of the moving men, the one who rubbed your back earlier, walked up to meet him with a key in his hand. 

The anticipation was killing you, the outside was gorgeous in itself but you were itching to know what kind of interior Ren had chosen. Climbing up the steps you made it to Ren’s right side grabbing onto his bicep and squeezing in anticipation. Turning the key in the lock he shot you a look over his shoulder, his mouth pulled up in a smirk, “Let’s take a tour while my men unpack.” 

You nodded back and sprinted in once the door was open. Rushing past Ren you were in awe of the home. The floors were a clean white tile that flowed into the living areas, each room on the first level was beautifully decorated with minimal clutter. The kitchen was absolutely stunning, white, and black marble on the counters, state of the art appliances, you name it. While you stood there in awe, Ren came up behind you and wrapped you in his arms before whispering in your ear. 

“Come, Angel,” he said while pulling you towards the staircase, “I bought you a new bed. We must make sure it lives up to my standards.” 

Ren guided you to the master bedroom, his hand on your lower back pushing you forward. Once in the room, you were shocked. Not only was the decor beautiful but the bed was humongous. You had never seen a mattress that size before, it had to have been a king, covered in white and black pillows. It looked so inviting so naturally, you ran and jumped on it becoming consumed by the plushness of the blankets. You were giggling as you rolled around, attempting to make a little cocoon of your own when Ren grabbed you by the ankle and yanked you towards the edge of the bed. 

“Hey,” you whined, “that hurts! What are you doing?” 

“Did you never learn manners while you were a child? Or are you determined to antagonize me after I’ve provided you with so much?” he said while he flipped you over to lay on your back and face him. His eyes were wild and searching your features before his hand shot up and gripped your jaw, thumb, and fingers digging into the flesh. Shaking your head you struggled to respond to him, “No-no-no I’m sorry.” reaching out and grasping onto his forearm to try and relieve the grip he held on you. 

After the two of you stared into each other’s eyes, Ren let out a deep breath before releasing his hand. You quickly scrambled onto your knees so you were eye level with him. “I’m sorry, I really am grateful for the gifts you got me,” you motioned around you, “I don’t know how I can ever repay you.” 

“Oh Angel,” he smiled at you, reaching up and cradling your face in his hands, “I think I know how.” 

Before you could utter a word Ren’s lips were on yours, slowly and sensually working his mouth in rhythm with yours. Tongues gliding over one another, swapping saliva and moans as he lowered you onto your back. Pulling back Ren turned and shut the door and locked it. 

“We don’t want any visitors, now do we?” he mused before he was on top of you again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are enjoying the fic so far! I also have another called Cowboy Blues about Clyde! Here are some links that will help you see the apartment, cars, and how I imagine Vicrul (the knight who rubs out back).   
> *I imagine Vircul as Sebastian Stan 
> 
> **Here is Rens Porsche: https://www.porsche.com/usa/models/taycan/taycan-models/taycan-turbo/ 
> 
> ***Here is the car he buys us:   
> https://www.landroverusa.com/vehicles/range-rover/hse/index.html?_ga=2.119954252.5990785.1594159310-830150201.1594159310 
> 
> ****Here is the apartment my sister and I chose on Zillow, obviously, the interior needed to be fancy and we wanted the furnishings to be very modern and monotone:   
> https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/154-Van-Buren-St-Brooklyn-NY-11221/30608361_zpid/


	6. Control Freak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lunch with Rey? Sure. What could go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW/CW: NSFW, allusions to violence, drinking, and some breath play! Rens a nasty boy and FUCK is it good. 
> 
> Also super sorry about it being a while since I updated, I just started some new anti depressants and they threw me for a loop but I'm back on track now and feeling better than ever.

It had been two weeks since Ren had bought you your ‘gifts’. 

Scratch that. 

Two weeks since a giant monster of a man had removed you from your home, took away your valuables, hid your favorite blanket somewhere, he wouldn’t say where, and gave you a full swat team of bodyguards whenever you were out of his sight. Two full fucking weeks since he started keeping tabs on where you were, what you were doing, and who you were with. 

It was exhausting being his ‘lover’. If you could still be classified as that, it was starting to feel like a hostage situation, whenever the two of you weren’t in the office together he would send you texts or phone calls that you were required to answer. He had even gotten a spare cell phone to call you from so it was separate from his personal calls, and you presumed to keep Rey oblivious. Which oddly enough had been working, she had really no idea what was going on. She would visit him at work throughout the day and give him a small kiss on the cheek and always insisted on hugging you before leaving. At some point, she must’ve hounded him for your phone number because now here you were meeting her for lunch hours after Ren left your, ‘our’ as he liked to call it, apartment. 

Before he left he had laid out an outfit for you to wear along with an outline of talking points you were ‘allowed’ to bring up with her during the lunch. You had rolled your eyes at him and ensured that you weren’t going to reveal anything to her, you didn’t really want your relationship with Ren to end. You just were getting tired of the short leash he kept you on. After getting dressed, and inspected by Ren, he had pulled you into a long slow kiss and whispered in your ear, “I’ll miss you Angel,” and then he was gone. 

Huffing you messed with your hair a little more and straightened out the dress he had chosen for you. Even though he was being a psychopath for control you were surprised to see that he was being generous in the gifts he bought you. The day after moving Ren had taken you to a couture mall in Manhattan and lavished you with thousands of dollars worth of clothes, jewelry, and home goods. He had insisted on keeping the house in a monotone color scheme but he did budge on your wardrobe, he knew that you liked having some pops of color and truth be told you noticed that he enjoyed, a little too much, the baby pink sets you chose at the lingerie stores. He had even gone so far to get you a custom made necklace* that was engraved with his initials, with a ruby inlay, that he wanted you to wear all the time. 

Grabbing your purse and slipping on your black strappy heels you heard your phone go off. You searched your purse for the damned contraption, even though it was a small bag it was almost like a Mary Poppins never-ending abyss when you threw things in it. Jingling out your keys you locked the front door and made it down the steps and finally snatched out the phone. 

Vicrul and Ushar will be escorting you today. Don’t be difficult with them or you’ll be in trouble. 

Ugh, he was never going to let you live that down. You stood outside and waited for their black SUV to pull up while you contemplated messaging him back. You didn’t really feel the need to be escorted to lunch with Rey, wouldn’t she think it’s weird that her husband’s men were driving you? Did she get escorted like that with the other beastie boys? It’s not like you weren’t fond of them, truth be told you liked the guys, they were always posted outside your house when Ren was gone. Usually, it was Ushar who took care of you unless it was a super public gathering then one of the other men would join in. But it had been a while since Vircul had watched you, the last time Ren had let them take you to a spa to get your nails and hair done and you had been in a bratty mood. One thing had led to another and it ended with you screaming that you were being ‘attacked’ because the men would not fucking stop hovering. The spa did not think it was funny however and Ren had to bribe the police officers who were 100% ready to arrest Vicrul because he was pinning you to the salon chair. 

The black SUV slinked up to the sidewalk and out of the passenger side came Ushar. “Hello Miss (Y/N),” he opened the back door for you, “Confirming that you are headed to lunch with Lady Ren?”. 

“Yes Ushar,” you rolled your eyes behind your sunglasses, “He already said I could go.” The men always did this with you, whenever he was gone they would double, even triple-check that you knew where you were going and any special instructions Ren had laid out for you. It was almost like you were a child stuck in the middle of a custody battle, each side was trying to make sure you knew all the rules and what you were allowed to say or do, it was getting really old. 

“Hi Vic,” you cooed trying to get a rise out of him, “It’s been a while hasn’t it?” 

Vicrul let out a low chuckle, “Not long enough Angel, not long enough.” 

You hummed back at him and settled in so they could whisk you away to probably the worst lunch of your life. You decided to play nice and shoot Ren a text to let him know you were with the guys, but you also wanted to push his buttons. 

Don’t worry Daddy. I’ll play nice.

The drive took a little over fifteen minutes, Vicrul parked up front and Ushar quickly opened your door and held his elbow out for you to take. You grabbed it, thankful for the support since you weren’t sure what to expect. The two of you began into the large building, with Vic jogging up close behind. Climbing into the elevator you noticed the other patrons were scooting away from you. Being as you were a small woman being flanked by two men who looked like they wrestled bears for a living, it was a natural response. Most people had hopped off before you hit the rooftop for your ‘date’. 

Stepping out you scanned the area and immediately noticed another hulking group of men in pitch black suits. Ahh, so the others are here too, of course, Rey would have her own guards. You let the guys lead the way and soon you were a group of six men hovering by the hostess stand. Looking around you couldn’t find Rey, she wasn’t any smaller than you, she hadn't gotten far especially with four guys flanking her…

“Ugh there you are!” she squealed before pulling you into a tight hug, effectively pinning your arms to your sides. “I thought you got lost, Kylo told me he sent the Knights to come get you but I was so afraid you stood me up!” 

“The Knights,” you whispered, still in her boney clutches. 

“Yes, the Knights,” she released you and grabbed your hands in hers, “They are the bodyguards we use!”

Oh. The Knights. That’s what Ren called them, well it made sense, they were fucking huge and seemed like they did anything for their ‘master’. 

“Are you ready to eat? I got us a lovely table out on the balcony,” Rey smiled at you. 

“Oh yes, of course,” you tried to match her enthusiasm, “Let’s go.” 

\----- 

After the two of you were seated the Knights had flanked you both on your sides, leaving about a 6-foot circle for the waiter and other servers to talk to you. 

“So (Y/N),” Rey grinned at you, “How are you liking work? Kylo says you’re doing an excellent job.” 

You blushed, “Oh thank you, he’s never mentioned that.”   
“Oh, that’s just because he’s bad at giving affection, we’ve been married for almost 10 years and he still rarely says ‘I love you”,” she giggled and started drinking her cosmo. What an awkward turn this lunch had gone, and right at the fucking beginning. It didn’t shock you that Ren was weird with affection and compliments in front of people but you assumed that after ten years he would at least show something toward Rey. Your heart sank, what if he never returned feelings to you? You had been seeing each other for almost a month, and even though you knew it was wrong, you had started feeling ‘feelings’ for him. The PDA was okay, you weren’t a huge fan of it, but even at the mall he had held your hand and kissed your forehead when you found something he liked. It was strange and new for you, and being told that he wasn’t like that with his wife made you ill. 

“Let’s talk about something else,” you spit out, “Sorry, it’s just I’m at work all week so maybe we talk about something different?” 

“Oh of course,” she took another swig of her drink, “I can’t tell you the last time I hung out with a girlfriend.” another drink, “Probably since before I got married!” 

“What?” 

“It’s true,” she sighed. 

“What do you do all day then?” 

“This and that,” she motioned for the waiter to get her another, “Usually I go and play tennis at the country clubs, join in at the book club I’m a part of, you know domestic things.” She looked almost sad, you wondered if Ren was the reason she had nothing to do, or maybe she was just that boring. 

“Well,” you tried to soothe her, “What do you like to do?” 

She inhaled deeply and looked out at the skyline, “I really enjoyed being in school. Learning, reading, doing something. But I don’t anymore, women in my situation aren’t expected to have those kinds of hobbies.” 

“Situation?” 

“You know,” she looked back at you and dabbed her lash line, “Being married to a powerful man, I’m expected to hold a certain standard.” She sniffled and you resisted the urge to reach across the table until one single rule from the outline stood out in your mind, ‘Under no circumstance are you to soothe her, she is dramatic at times and I don’t need you falling into a trap’. 

A server thankfully interrupted your pity party, leaving your dishes and a quick message about ‘if you need anything else just call’. Rey had seemed to reign herself back in and turned back to you with her trademark smile. 

“What about you?” 

“Oh um,” you paused to bite into your salad, “I don’t really do much. I usually go out to bars and stuff on weekends. Or my friends and I have wine and cheese nights!” You smiled at her, it had been about two weeks since your last meeting. Finn and Rose were super confused when you told them you moved but you convinced them that with your new salary you could afford some new things. You actually were supposed to meet them in a couple of days at your new apartment for drinking. 

“Ugh that sounds so fun,” Rey almost screamed, maybe she was drinking too much. You weren’t sure what her tolerance was but you were sure that Ren probably monitored her drinking. “I used to do that in college with one of my friends.” 

“Oh? Where did you go to college?” 

“The same one as you!” she squealed, “Sorry, I saw on your resume where you went to school. I’m pretty sure we were in the same class.” 

“Oh no shit,” you giggled back at her, you tried to remember if you knew her. The only people you hung around were Finn and Rose, sometimes Poe who had moved across the country after graduating. He was the ambitious one out of the group, he had joined the Air Force before school and became a pilot. 

Rey started giggling uncontrollably, you could feel the Knights start to shift towards her. Especially Vicrul who seemed to be keeping a very sharp eye on her. “Yeah, we both used to hang out with Rose,” she said over her glass. 

You froze. Rose? Your Rose? How did she know her? You were sure Rose didn’t know Rey, and if she had wouldn’t you have known Rey too. Now all the Knights were closing in on you two, you could feel the mood shifting to a topic Ren probably didn’t want you to have. “How… How do you know Rose?” 

“Oh, it was way back when,” she flung her hand out to somehow calm you, “back when I was hooking up with this guy Finn.” 

“I think that’s enough Lady Ren,” Vicrul grunted while reaching for her drink. 

“Hey,” she shouted, “I’m a grown woman Vic. I can drink whatever I want!” She was starting to cause a scene, you turned and noticed other patrons looking your way. And what a sight it was, little Rey holding a half drank cosmo as high as she could away from the Knights. 

Vicrul got closer to her and almost growled, “Don’t make me call him.” 

Rey narrowed her eyes, “Do it, pussy.” 

And then all hell broke loose, Rey had launched from the table, effectively throwing her drink on Vicrul. In her haste she had also thrown the food all over you, your pretty new dress now soiled by the salmon salad you ordered. Ushar had rushed to your side and grabbed you by the shoulders and was attempting to pull you from the scene. But you couldn’t just sit and watch, Rey was sobbing and screaming at Vircul to let go of her, even going as far to bite his arm that corralled her to his chest. You couldn’t help but cry too, this poor woman, she was truly a prisoner. She had so many friends at some point, maybe even was your friend, and then she was thrown into a world she didn’t seem to enjoy with a husband who only cared about her appearance. 

Suddenly everything stopped, the Knights were silent and lined up by the table, aside from Ushar and Vicrul. You swallowed your tears and you heard footsteps. Slow and methodical steps coming towards you. Waves of dread began to fill your stomach while the aura of danger was licking between your legs. You cowered into Ushar’s chest, you didn’t want to see him, didn’t want to be at the end of his wrath. 

“How strange it is,” he boomed from your left side, “that here, in our favorite restaurant, you decide to make a scene.” He stalked towards Rey, slow steps, each one growing louder than the last. He had his hands clasped behind his back and although you couldn’t see his face you knew that it was tense. You could practically hear his jaw popping in and out of place. He cracked his knuckles before bringing his hands up to his neck. “I expected more from you,” he spat out and began to crack his neck. Each pop was like a nail in Rey’s coffin, you couldn’t help the little whimper that rose from your throat which caught his attention. 

Ren whipped around and was in front of you instantly. His fists clenched at his sides and his breathing shallow. He was waiting for you to meet his gaze, almost taunting you to stare back. You gulped and squeezed your eyes shut. You didn’t want this. You didn’t want him to blame you, if he would just calm down you could explain what she had said, no one had told you that she got so emotional when she had cocktails. It wasn’t in the outline briefing he had given you this morning. So really it was his fault. 

“Take her away,” he snarled at Ushar, who suddenly picked you up and rushed you out of the restaurant. Peeking over his shoulder you witnessed Ren closing in on Rey. When the elevator doors shut you hoped that the pained screaming you heard wasn’t what you thought they were. 

The drive back was silent. Neither you nor Ushar said a word. You barely remembered to breathe, you were petrified. How could lunch have gone so wrong so fast? You just wanted to get to know her, get an understanding of who she was. You didn’t think she was going to launch into a speech about how much she hated her life. And what was the whole Finn and Rose thing about? Not once had they mentioned that they knew her, other than when Finn told you about the Ren incident. But you didn’t think that meant Rey and Finn hooked up in college. It was all too familiar and uncomfortable, you needed answers and unfortunately, there was only one person who could give them to you. 

\-----

You waited. Paced, bit your nails in anticipation for him to come to you. He hadn’t told you this morning when he would be back, but he always would come around in the evening to drop off food and watch a movie with you. Or give you feedback on something at work, or fuck you on any surface he could find. But he never stayed too long, which should be normal, he did have a wife who would probably be suspicious if he was gone overnight. 

After about 5 hours you had decided that he wasn’t coming. So you stripped down and started a bath, throwing in a black glitter bath bomb that was supposed to help soothe the body and soul. After it was just the right temperature you grabbed a glass of wine and turned on some Netflix to drown out your wandering brain. Sinking in you enjoyed the stillness, you didn’t get this luxury at your old apartment and now you were being spoiled rotten with all these new features. Never in your wildest dreams did you think you could live somewhere like this, or wear the clothes that you had hanging in the closet. You hummed to yourself and started drinking and began to be lulled to sleep by the sounds of Fraiser coming from your laptop. 

You were pulled from your sleep to the sound of a door slamming shut. Followed by grunting which you assumed was someone taking off their shoes, and another series of slamming noises. Guess someone decided to pay you a visit, you groaned and drank some more of your wine, preparing for his royal asshole to grace you with his presence. 

You heard his footsteps coming up the stairs, your master bedroom doors swinging open and closed until the man, the myth, the legend, was now standing in your bathroom. Fully clothed aside from his shoes being gone. “Well hi,” you said to him. 

He grunted at you and made his way into ‘his closet’, which was filled with clothes of his own that he bought on your shopping trip. He reemerged completely naked with a black robe draped over his forearm. 

“Why is the water black,” he grumbled before swinging a leg across from you.

“What do you think you’re doing Ren?” 

“Don’t be difficult Angel. I’ve had a long fucking day,” he snapped at you, “Now is this water going to stain me, or am I good to get in?” he stared at you. His eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched like he was getting ready to attack his prey. You tried to keep your face neutral, not letting him know that you were still slightly scared of him after the display this afternoon. You slowly scrunched your legs to your chest as a nonverbal way of telling him he could join in. Once you moved he brought both legs in and sank into the tub. 

You both were very lucky that this was a large bath since Ren’s legs took up about 75% of the space in it, leaving you to stretch out on top of him. Your feet placed on his abs while he sunk lower and lower until his head was resting on the lip of the tub. 

“What’s in your glass,” he practically moaned at you with his eyes shut. He looked super uncomfortable but you could tell he was trying really hard to relax. Which seemed to never be his natural state. 

“It’s a Cab*, the one with the lion on it.” 

Ren snatched it out of your hand without even looking and chugged the rest of it. “We’re going to need more of that,” he rolled slightly to his right and pressed an intercom button. 

“Whoever the fuck is downstairs will you bring up the Juggernaut bottle,” he barked into the speaker. Assuming that one of the Knights was going to follow his order. Within minutes one of them came in and gave Ren the bottle which he immediately started chugging from. 

“Ren,” you reached out and pulled the bottle from him, “Are you going to tell me what the fuck happened earlier? Or are we just going to drink?” 

“Can we not do both?” 

You exhaled loudly, trying to get your point across that you needed to talk to him. He groaned and started rubbing his face. “I don’t know what you’re expecting from me. She is my wife and what we do in our personal lives is none of your business.” 

“Are you serious,” you snapped at him, “Ren I am fucking you. You’ve been calling the shots of my life for almost a month, you bought me an apartment, car and new clothes and made me go to lunch with her and now it’s none of my business?” 

He crossed his arms and looked away from you, trying to focus on your laptop even though it was paused from watching too many episodes. 

“Kylo,” you barked, “I’m fucking talking to you.” 

“Don’t you dare call me that,” he yelled, raising a finger at you. 

Bringing the bottle to your lips you waited for him to continue. Interesting that he allows Rey to call him that but not you, this was something you were going to have to explore. 

“Is it because you’re ashamed, Ren,” you cooed at him, “Ashamed that I saw how out of control she is. Or that I know you beat her.” 

Suddenly he was on top of you, his hands around your throat. Teeth snapping in your face like a wild dog. “Don’t you ever accuse me of that,” he seethed and released you enough so you could breathe again, “I’ve never laid a finger on her in my life. You don’t know anything about me little girl.” 

You had dropped the bottle in the tub, the red liquid pouring out and mixing into the black water. Almost like there had been blood spilled between the two of you. You grasped onto his forearms to try and anchor him off of you but were getting nowhere. “That’s hard to believe,” you gasped, “When you’re currently choking me to death.” 

“Oh Angel,” his face softened to a less dangerous one but more one of mischief, “That’s because I know you like it when I’m rough with you.” You inhaled sharply, and Ren pushed you up further against the tub. Effectively pinning you in place while his knees knocked yours to accommodate him. 

“Like right now,” he came closer to you, “I know that your pretty little cunt is sopping because of me. It’s okay to be afraid, I won’t hurt you.” One of his hands dropped into the water, “That much.” 

Suddenly he had you flipped around, on your knees with your chest and face pressed up against the end of the tub. Water sloshing between you two while he pressed his hips into yours. Revealing a once well-hidden erection that was now skimming your folds. He brought one hand down between your legs, lightly petting at you. Humming when he felt your arousal mixed with the water. You moaned and tried to press your hips back into him, desperate for friction. “No, no Angel, you’ve been a bad girl.” 

You froze and felt him line himself up at your entrance, usually he worked you open so it wouldn’t be so painful when he pushed into you, but it was clear that right now Ren wanted you to feel the pain. His other hand came up and gripped to your hair, successfully knotting it in his fist. 

“Tell me, Sweetheart, do you know how long you can hold your breath?” 

You craned your neck to try and look at him, you were obviously confused. 

“Let’s find out.” 

Ren pushed into you and suddenly you were dunked underwater. You thrashed and screamed under the black mess while he started pumping into you. Each thrust was harder than the last, he was determined to make you know how much he could hurt you. You tried to push yourself back up to the surface but he had you pinned, after what felt like hours he pulled you back up and you choked on the water. 

Gasping and gagging you started sobbing while Ren was laughing like the Joker. “I think we can do better than that,” and he had you under the water again, his pace far more crucial, he was chasing a high that he didn’t know he had. The amount of power he held over you now was unbearable. This man, who you had grown to like more and more, was now holding you hostage under the water and the sick part was that you didn’t want him to stop. 

He pulled you back up and pinned your face to the side and thrust in more and more, grunting and groaning at the clenching of your walls around his cock. The hand holding your hip hostage slid down and started rubbing tight circles around your clit causing you to moan. “That feels good doesn’t it Angel, I can feel you, you love it when I fuck you like this.” 

Gagging again you responded, “I do I love it, Ren, please don’t fucking stop.” 

“You want to cum don’t you,” he leaned to your ear and continued his brutal pace, “Cum all over my cock? Even though I almost drowned you?” 

You screamed as his circle grew faster and faster over your nub, you couldn’t help clenching around him. You felt so close to your orgasm, you just needed a little bit more. 

“Tell me you like it, Angel,” he huffed before stopping to take a bite out of your shoulder, “You like it when I control you. You need it don’t you dirty slut, someone to keep you in check.” 

“Yes Ren I love it, please please let me cum,” you begged him. 

“After you cum you’re going to thank me for everything I’ve done for you, do you understand whore? I own you. I own your mouth, your tight little cunt, even your thoughts.” 

You were bucking back into his thrusts, desperately chasing your release, “All yours Ren, please I need it.” 

He stilled his movements and turned your head to try and face him, “Take a deep breath and cum Angel.” 

And you did just that as he dunked you back under the water, pinning you flat against the bottom while his fingers rubbed your clit in sync with his cock. You were clenching and desperately trying to hold your breath until you felt him empty inside you. Hot sticky cum painted your insides as his grip on your loosened, you took the chance to lift out of the water and gasp for air while Ren slumped against you. His chest flush with your back while his cock was still squirting into your tired pussy. 

His arms came around you and pulled you up with him so now you were on top of him while he buried his face into your neck. Lazy and sloppy kisses were placed all over the crook of your neck up towards your jaw, his hands were slowly petting your breasts in a way to calm your breathing. Finally, he took in a deep breath and stood with you clutched to his chest. 

Treating you like you would porcelain he stepped out of the tub and turned to the shower, quickly rinsing the two of you off before leaning you against the wall. You couldn’t even move, your body went into fight or flight every time he shoved you under the water. You were so sure he was going to kill you, but each time he was sure to pull you back up and prepare you for the next blow. It was almost considerate, given the circumstances, that he even let you cum with him. You stared at the man who was washing both of your bodies of the glitter, wine, and cum. He looked so focused on piecing you back together even though he had been the one to break you in the first place. 

He shut the water off and stepped out, quickly drying himself off and getting in his robe before reaching his hand out for yours. 

“Come on Angel, you’re shivering,” he whispered to you, afraid to command you after what had happened. You grabbed his hand and walked out of the shower where he again dried you off and wrapped you in your black robe too. Once you were bundled he picked you up and you wrapped your arms and legs around him, desperate for him to stay with you. 

He brought you to the bedroom, pulling down the sheets with his right hand while still cradling you with his other. Bending over to place you down you squeezed him harder, “Please don’t go,” you whispered in his ear. 

“I’m not going anywhere (Y/N), not anymore.” 

You released him and watched him go back to the bathroom and shut off the lights before coming back and climbing into bed fully naked. Ren came up behind you and started to pull off your robe, kissing your bare skin when it came into contact with the room's cold air. 

“I promise (Y/N), never again” he cooed before pulling you into his embrace and the two of you were lulled to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, be sure to check out my Tumblr @maybe-your-left and my other story Cowboy Blues   
> Also here are the links to the necklace and wine!   
> *Here is our necklace from Tiffany: https://www.tiffany.com/jewelry/necklaces-pendants/elsa-peretti-color-by-the-yard-pendant-62464399/
> 
> **Here is the wine we are having, it’s my sister’s favorite red wine and it's honestly not that bad: https://www.wine.com/product/juggernaut-hillside-cabernet-sauvignon-2017/532155?state=CA&s=GoogleBase_CSE_532155_type_Wine_RedWine_CabernetSauvignon_261&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=&utm_campaign=Google_Shopping_Smart_CA_Relaunch&showpromo=true&promo=PSCASE10&gclid=Cj0KCQjwpNr4BRDYARIsAADIx9wTNMJgAuhl1zWgoZEny8NAfa4vYZmIzTH446JIQfJ5NE9upZGPAGgaAk0eEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds#promoBarModal


	7. Am I Understood?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel and Ren spent the day together at work, after an eventful morning. And it only gets worse...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight TW/CW: lots of swearing, some implied consent at the end. Violent overtones throughout.

You haven't slept this soundly in a long time, usually you have to take some sleeping pills before lulling off to sleep but not tonight. Sunlight filtered in through your bedroom windows and you blinked your eyes open to rid the call back to your pillow. Behind you, there was a deep growling noise, followed by a hot breath on the back of your neck. Ren must’ve been sleeping with his mouth shut, you mused, wiggling your arm out you reached out for the clock on your bedside table. 

9 AM it read. 

“Mother fucker,” you yelled and threw Ren off with all your might. Successfully elbowing him in the face while untangling your limbs. 

“Jesus,” Ren cried out and applied pressure to his nose, “Why’d you fucking do that?” 

“We slept in,” you called from the closet. 

Ren whined in response, you heard the mattress creak while he threw his legs over the side followed by footsteps into the bathroom. He appeared while you were buttoning up a maroon blouse, keeping one hand on his nose. He stared at you with wide blinking eyes that were still fighting sleep. 

“Come on, we’re an hour late-” 

“What are you talking about (Y/N),” he grumbled before turning to his sink and inspecting his bruised skin. 

“My alarm didn’t go off this morning, we’re both late for work,” you pushed by him so you could reach for your toothbrush. Trying to get ready as fast as possible, throwing your hair up in an updo and smudging on your lipstick. Ren just glared at you while wiggling his nose, probably trying to get blood flow back after the hit he took. Hip bumping him to the side so you could spit out your toothpaste, he finally moved and went to the closet. Re-emerging seconds later with black slacks, buttoning up a dress shirt that was the same maroon as yours. 

“Oh you wanna be matching today?” you giggled while hopping out of the bathroom, searching for your phone. 

“Would it be wrong if I did?” he yelled back from the sink. 

Snorting back in response you made it down the hallway. Taking the stairs two at a time, pretty risky to do in heels, and finally making it to the kitchen. 

The Keurig was heating up with your coffee when Ren made it downstairs. Fixing the sleeves of his blazer jacket, seeming to look for his shoes he threw off yesterday night. You took a moment to appreciate the scene in front of you, silent domestic bliss between the two of you. This is how it would be if you and Ren were a… you shook your head at the thought. He was still very married, you couldn’t allow yourself to get used to the closeness. Clearing your throat you reached for a mug, “I forgot to tell you I’ve been working on the case file you gave me last week, found something interesting but we can talk about it when I get to the office.” 

“When you get to the office,” he mumbled while grabbing some cereal from your pantry, “Aren’t you riding with me?” 

“Why would I do that?” 

“Because you work for me,” a spoonful of cereal, “you sleep with me,” another chew, “you fuck me, you’re mine Angel I don’t know why you keep forgetting.” He ended with slurping milk from the bowl before standing up and placing it in the sink. “Let’s go.” 

He walked past you, grabbing his coat along with your purse which had your car keys inside them. Stopping at the front doorway he yelled for you, “Are you going to make me wait or should I have Ushar drag you to the car?” 

\----- 

The drive to work was short and silent, except for the radio which was playing on some random talk radio bullshit. The man was droning on and on about stock prices and the unemployment rates, you felt yourself falling asleep because of how bored you were. Even the guy talking sounded like he was one sentence away from falling into a coma. 

You groaned, “Can we listen to some music, please?” 

“Hmm,” Ren smirked at you. You reached for the buttons to change it yourself but he was quicker than you, smacking your hand away. “Now now Angel, it’s my car. We are to listen to what I want.” 

“Oh my god…” you whined, trying to get him to release your hand from his death grip. 

“Someone’s being a brat today,” he slammed on his brakes, almost mowing over a pedestrian he was clearly not watching for. You would’ve slammed into the dashboard if it hadn't been for your seatbelt and Rens giant arm that was now outstretched in front of you. 

You pushed his arm away while he sped off again, “Maybe I wouldn’t be a brat if you didn’t try to kill me with your reckless driving.” 

“Hmm.” 

He slammed again, this time he didn’t shoot out his arm to protect you, leaving your head to whip forward and smack the dashboard. “Oh come on!” you cried, applying pressure to your forehead. You were so sure he had split it open, you fumbled with the mirror above you, examining the bump that was now forming. Luckily there was no open wound but it still didn’t make up for the fact that you had a screaming headache. “You fucking did that on purpose,” you smacked him in the chest. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he smirked again, “I would never do anything to hurt you, my dear.”

“Just shut up,” you snapped, “And can we change the radio station this guy's voice is giving me a bigger headache.” 

“As you wish.” He reached forward and pressed another preset, making sure to give you a glare as he sat back. 

“Thank you,” you huffed, closing your eyes and waiting for the music to start playing, or at least another boring old man to start talking. 

Slowly the music started, you furrowed your eyebrows trying to concentrate on it instead of the pounding in your ears. As it was getting louder you could pick out some noises, a saxophone, for one thing, was present. Followed by some other deep instruments, you blinked a couple of times trying to understand what was going on. 

“Ah, I love this song,” Ren said before turning the volume up another few notches. 

“What the fuck is this-” 

“You don’t like jazz, Angel?” he smiled at you, it wasn’t a warm smile. More like a taunt for you to complain again, setting a trap for you to fall into. He waited, staring at you while you slowly began rubbing your temples, the music was far worse than the NPR radio, each sound was so disorganized and trying to desperately outdo the other instrument he might as well have slammed you in the dashboard again. 

Fuck this was going to be a long day. 

\-----

“We have a meeting today with a client,” Ren said as he seated himself behind his desk, “It’ll be at the prison, however, so maybe sure you stay by me.” 

“Sounds good boss.” 

You were rifling through your bags trying to find the case file on the client, Armitage Hux was the name, you had read somewhere that he was a known criminal with a record to show for it. Thrown in and out of jails so many times he probably had his own personalized cell. Most of his charges were small: theft, forgery, robbery, lots of organized crime work. Nothing you weren’t used to seeing, but this time he was charged with something much worse. 

During your research you noticed that Hux was always found ‘innocent’ of these crimes, usually, the bail was paid off quickly and whoever was representing him had him out of court within a few hours. It was strange for this type of crime, what was also strange was the lack of information on those cases. It was almost like someone was erasing any information about his past the moment he was set free. 

Ren cleared his throat, “I must go see Palpatine before we set off.” 

“Oh, okay, let me grab my things and we can go,” you started repacking your bag. 

“That won’t be necessary,” he stated, getting up from his chair and walking towards you, “It’s a private matter. Meet me down at the car in 15 minutes Angel.” And with that he kissed you on the forehead and walked out, shutting the door behind him. 

“Whatever weirdo,” you muttered, this would be the first meeting you weren’t brought in with him. He usually had you take notes or something while he spoke with colleagues. But he seemed to be on edge when he rushed out. You shrugged and got up, now would be a good time to look around his office. Since you started working here you hadn’t gotten much downtime between reading, writing, and fucking. 

Walking around his desk you scanned the stacks of papers. Lots were in order, alphabetical, and by date. He seemed to run a tight ship with his workload. Along with stacks of papers, there were two frames on the left side of his desk, behind his desktop. You grabbed them to get a closer look. 

One was an old black and white photo, containing a young man who was very tall and skinny, flanked on both sides with an older man and woman. It looked like it was the young man’s graduation picture, he had tassels and stoles around his neck, achievements of hard academic work, the woman was beaming next to him, holding a bouquet of some sort. The older man was handsome, a little rougher than the woman, but he had the same smirk on his face that you’ve seen Ren have. 

“Must be his parents…” you whispered, setting the picture back down. You had never heard about his family, but it wasn’t like the two of you had ever spoken about personal things. 

The second picture was in color. It showed the same man, slightly longer black hair and less of a smile, standing outside the First Order office building. He was shaking hands with a man you didn’t recognize, he certainly wasn’t the man from the first photograph. No, this man was very different, his face although smiling had no happiness. Rigid and stiff even as the photo was being taken, and behind him was Palpatine. 

Humming, you set the picture back down and glanced around the room some more. To the left of the desk were bookshelves. Filled with texts about the ever-changing laws throughout the nation, and even some about national security. Most of them were covered with dust, but you noticed a very boring pattern of non-fiction work throughout. It figures, you thought, Ren probably reads these for fun when he’s not out dictating my life. 

Looking down at your watch you saw you had about five minutes left before having to hoof it downstairs so you took that time to scan the walls for any other information. Your eyes settled on two diplomas framed by a very large fake plant. 

University of Oxford   
Faculty of Law   
Kylo Ren 

“Of course he went to Oxford… pretentious ass,” you looked down to the second one. 

Harvard University   
J.D. Law School   
Ben Solo 

You stared at it for a few seconds. Rereading it over and over, looking back and forth between the two papers. Ben Solo? Who the fuck was that? Did they print his name wrong? There’s no way, it’s a Harvard degree. Also if they had he would’ve definitely raised hell over it. Maybe it was just a leftover decoration from a previous lawyer… the frame was a little dustier than the top one. Seemed like maybe that could be it- 

Your phone started buzzing in your pocket. Shaking your head you fished it out and answered, “Hello this is (Y/N)-” 

“Where the fuck are you? I told you to meet me in the car in 15 minutes?” 

Ren. Of course, it was, “Sorry I was uh… going to the bathroom. Coming down now.” 

He hung up after that, clearly, he was in a bad mood. Maybe something in his meeting didn’t go well. Maybe Rey’s dad confronted him about the two of you… not like there was any way for him to know about it. Unless there were cameras in the office that the two of you didn’t know about. 

You shook that thought out of your mind and stepped out of the elevator into the parking garage. Ren was parked directly in front waiting for you. You swung the door open and climbed in while he slammed his foot on the gas, peeling out onto the road. 

“When I tell you to be somewhere I expect you to listen to me,” Ren spat at you. Not taking the time to look at you while he weaved through traffic. 

“Sorry, I just lost track of time, don’t know what the big deal is,” you huffed. 

Ren snorted, “The big deal is you have to listen to me. You’re mine. I expected that lesson I taught you yesterday to stick inside your head for longer than 24 hours.” 

“Oh, you mean when you almost drown me?” 

“Precisely Angel,” He purred at you, placing a hand on your knee, “You belong to me. I control where you go,” a squeeze, “What you do,” his hand slid upwards and squeezed again, “Even when you breathe.” gripping the inside of your thigh, digging his nails into you, “Am I understood?” 

You swallowed, “Yes Mr. Ren.” 

“Excellent, now we are meeting with a client. I expect you to stay quiet throughout and take notes diligently. We’ve worked with him before so it should be brief.” 

“We have?” you questioned, “Nothing in my research showed that he’s worked with the First Order before…” 

“Whatever the case, you will not speak while we meet with him. You are not there to counsel him, only to take notes about the conversation I have with him or any mannerisms he portrays during.” Ren looked over at you, he clearly needed you to listen to him. His usual auburn eyes were dark and cold, commanding you to stay in your place. You nodded and Ren patted your leg and the two of you drove in silence the rest of the way. 

—— 

You and Ren had walked in after parking. Every officer and guard seemed to know Ren personally, never checking his ID or anything, just waving him through. You were awestruck, the facility you were at was no laughing matter. It was a maximum security prison. Only for the worst of the worst criminals, crime bosses, murderers, rapists, serial killers, you name it and they were there. You scooted a little closer to Ren, hopefully to shield yourself from the fear rippling through you. 

“Scared Angel?” he chuckled, looking over his shoulder. “There’s nothing to fear. No one will touch you while I’m here.” 

“Okay,” you squeaked out. 

The guards led the two of you down a series of hallways before opening a steel door. Behind was a man, chained to a desk in the middle of the room. He was pale, not a shiner pale like Ren but more sickly. He had bright red hair atop his head, that was at one point styled but it seemed like he had been through the ringer. He had cold eyes, staring directly at you, not once looking at Ren. “Glad to see you’re finally here,” he spoke from behind a cigarette. 

“Apologies about our tardiness,” Ren spat, “Some pieces haven’t found their place yet.” 

He moved in front of the ginger, pulling out a chair and ushering you to sit before he did. “Thank you,” you whispered, trying to keep the gingers eye contact away from yours. 

“Whose this little fox you’ve brought Ren,” he cooed at you, leaning forward on the table, “She’s different than the last one.” 

“That’s enough Hux,” he spat, “Let’s get down to business.” 

You reached into your bag and handed Ren the case file. Grabbing out your pad and pen, you were ready for their conversation. 

“What’s your name little pet?” Hux blew smoke towards you. 

You coughed and shot a look at Ren, he was staring at Hux. His jaw clenched tight, his hands threatening to rip the file in half. 

“Cat got your tongue?” he taunted, “ Or are you not allowed to speak?” 

“Hux,” Ren boomed. 

“(Y/N). It’s (Y/N),” you spit out, staring down at your pad and pen. 

“(Y/N)... what a lovely name,” Hux cooed. The way he said your name felt like a threat. You knew immediately that you weren’t supposed to do that, Ren had told you not to speak. 

“If you’re not going to talk about your charges then my assistant and I will be leaving.” 

“Assistant, is that what you’re calling it now?” Hux laughed, taking another drag off the cigarette. “That’s a fancy way to say whore.” 

Ren lunges at Hux, knocking you to the floor in the process. Pinning him to the wall and repeatedly slamming him by his shoulders. You sat there with wide eyes, usually, guards would burst in at the sign of commotion but the room was quiet. The only sounds were Hux and Ren's heavy breathing, both daring the other to make a move. 

“Kylo… we should go,” you squeaked out again. 

“Kyloooo you’re scaring your whore,” Hux smiled at him. Ren growled and shoved him one last time before turning to you. 

“Get up.” he barked. 

You scrambled to your feet, grabbing the papers that were thrown around. Ren's hand found purchase in your hair, gripping on and ushering you out of the room. 

Behind you Hux yelled, “I’m sure Snoke will be happy to hear about this!” and the door slammed shut. 

—— 

Ren said nothing. 

Not even when he shoved you into the car, buckled you into the seat and sped off. He was obviously not heading back to the office. His grip on the wheel was so tight it looked like he was going to snap it. 

“Where are we-“ 

“I told you not to speak.” 

“I’m sorry I just-“ 

He pulled in front of a hotel, “No I don’t think you understand Angel. I told you not to speak, and you disobeyed me.” 

The valet knocked on his window, tearing Rens stare from you. He stepped out and handed the keys to the young man. Rounding the car he ripped open your door and pulled you out by your wrist. 

You didn’t struggle, you were so confused as to where you were going. Why did he bring you to a hotel? Was he going to forgive you for earlier? What had Hux meant about you being a whore? 

Once inside the elevator, he let go of you and sighed. His shoulders finally relaxed, and he cracked his neck left and right. “I think it’s time you understood who you belong to.” 

You stared at him, eyebrows furrowed with concern, “What do you mean?” 

“What I mean is,” the doors opened and he walked out, “You’ll either listen to me tonight, or you’ll be severely hurt.” 

You gulped, was he going to beat you? Was this it? You had always felt safe with him but something about the meeting earlier had left him… unhinged. He opened the door and shoved you in. 

The suite was huge, full kitchen and living room. Large king bed, and a huge bathroom. 

“Strip for me.” 

“What?” 

“Strip for me or I’ll do it for you,” he threatened. 

Swallowing again you slowly took off your clothes, all the way down to your heels. Attempting to cover yourself from his predatory gaze. He walked over to you and held your face. “Do you trust me Angel?” he whispered. 

“Yes.” 

He gave you a soft kiss, delicately tracing your lips with his own. “Sit down on the couch.” 

You followed his instructions, eager to see where this was going. Ren disappeared into the bathroom, re-emerging with items in his hands. “Now, I’m going to put these on you, and you’re not going to struggle, do you understand?” You nodded. “If you struggle this is going to hurt you more, tell me you understand.” 

“Yes Mr. Ren.” 

“Good,” he cooed. He pushed you back against the sofa, and tied a blindfold over your eyes. You giggled, excited about where this was headed. 

Suddenly Ren was behind the sofa, grabbing your left wrist and attaching something around it. He repeated it with the other one. “Try to move Angel.” 

You tried to pull your arms back over the couch, but found that they were chained to something. “What’s going on Ren-“ 

He then attached chains to both your ankles. Leaving you spread eagle across the couch. Unable to move, unable to see his intentions. A knock at the door, Ren sighed, “Their here early.” 

“Who's here? What’s going on?” 

“One more thing before I forget,” he hummed. He pinched your jaw, forcing it open and shoved a gag in your mouth. Strapping it around your skull. You trashed and cried out, but they came out as moans because you were unable to speak. 

“It’ll all be over soon.” Ren whispered and then opened the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is happening? Why are we tied up?? Do I even know?!


	8. I Have to Mark You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a lot in it... it's not as long as my others but there's a lot that happens.   
> TW/CW: stepping into more dark territory for this chapter. It may cause you to have anxiety if that's something you get from reading fics that touch on 'physical or mental abuse' I would skip this chapter. Nothing NSFW, but there is some emotional and mental manipulation happening in this chapter. 
> 
> I also wanted to say that I do not condone Ren's actions in this chapter. If you have feelings for someone this is NOT the way to do it.

Pain. 

Digging, throbbing, gum scraping pain. 

Hands were all over you, touching. Grabbing, pinching your skin. 

You kept trying to scream, trying to thrash away but the chains kept you still. Ren made sure of it. 

You don’t know how long you were held there, you just remember hearing the door open and close. The sound of footsteps entering the room. Ren's voice talking to others, and suddenly you were being touched. Not anywhere sexually, but it felt violating. You didn’t know who they were, how many there were. All you knew was that it hurt. 

You jolted from your anxiety-induced fainting, someone was stroking your hair. Brushing it with the cold bristles of a brush. Back and forth over your part, being sure to keep every hair out of your face. It would’ve been soothing if you could speak, but all that could come out were garbled moans. Spit was spilling over the ball gag, soaking your chin, dripping down onto your chest. Whoever was there was quick to wipe the excess while the brush kept combing your hair. 

“They’re almost done, Angel.” a deep voice cooed. Lips touching your ear, voice like honey over your frayed wounds. You jerked your head to the side, desperate for reassurance from the assailant. A sharp sting by your side, followed by a separate voice mumbling to itself. “You did so well my princess… I’m so proud of you.” 

You moaned, tensing your arms again, trying to break free. But the more you flexed, the more exhausted you became. All you could do was cry, and allow whoever to continue to brush your hair, hoping that the horror would end. 

Moments later the pain stopped, in its place was a cold film. Spread across your side, sticking to your sweat-slicked body. Footsteps out of the room. You heard what sounded like a fridge door opening and shutting, followed by someone sitting in a chair opposite from you. Oh how you wished you could see, touch, hear anything except the blood rushing to your brain. 

A drink was sipped, the smacking of lips across the room, “Now you’ll never forget who you belong to.” 

\----- 

You were sore. Rolling over in bed, stretching and flexing your arms and legs. Sighing at the popping of joints, a symphony to your bedridden ears. You felt the sunshine flood through the windows, basking the bed in its warmth. You opened your eyes, they were crusted and dry. Probably needed to take out your contacts, you must’ve forgotten to take them out when you went to sleep last night. 

Oh. 

Your eyes fell to the sheets. 

These weren’t yours. 

No the ones in your bed were white, these were a charcoal gray. 

Something different was in your arms, a soothing softness you hadn’t felt in weeks. You blinked a few times, trying to rehydrate your contacts. Pulling the article up to your face you saw colors. You gasped, it was your tie-dye blanket! The one Ren had stolen from you weeks ago! You held it close to your face, breathing in the scent, familiar and safe. You started crying into the blanket, it had been so long. 

“I see you’re awake.” 

You stopped, memories of the night before flooding your brain. Dropping the blanket from your eyes you peaked at the man sitting at the foot of the bed. 

Ren. 

You saw red. 

What did he do to you last night? You couldn’t remember, your brain blocking out the trauma he induced. You launched at his figure, stoic and still. He was staring at you, sipping on a cup of coffee. In his sleep shirt and pants, hair tousled so effortlessly you would have forgiven him right then and there. But the moment you moved your side ached with pain. You sat up, instinctively cupping your rib cage. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he instructed. Eyes unblinking, you would’ve thought he was a statue if it wasn’t for his eye twitching. 

“What, what do you mean?” 

You looked down at yourself, somehow you were dressed in your sleep shirt and a pair of old sweatpants. Both you hadn’t seen since your move to the new apartment, more things Ren must’ve stolen. Your hand pressed to your ribcage, instantly causing you to wince. 

“What did I just say?” He set down his coffee on the bedside table, moving closer to you. Reaching out his large paws to no doubt restrain you again. You flinched away, tears forming in your eyes. 

“Don’t touch me,” you hissed. Your bottom lip was already quivering, although you couldn’t remember everything. You remembered that he did this to you. 

Ren stopped moving towards you, hands falling to his folded legs. Looking at you with dead, unblinking eyes. He hummed and got off the bed, crossing the hotel room to the kitchen. You clutched onto the blanket, attempting to hide from him. Shutting your eyes as you heard him coming back, “Drink this Angel.”

He had a glass of water in his hand, holding it in front of your face. 

Your mouth instantly became dry, “Why?” 

Ren rolled his eyes, “I can see how chapped your lips are from here just take the water.” 

Sitting up again, wincing at the pain, you propped yourself up on the headboard. Grabbing the glass from his hands and slowly sipping. “Good girl, now let’s talk.” He sat back down on the bed, careful not to touch you. Ren ran a hand through his bedhead, sighing as you backed further into the wall. “Before you freak out, I did this for your own good.” 

You clung to the blanket again, “What did you do Ren?” 

He reached out, stopping when you backed away again. You didn’t want his hands to touch you, afraid of what you might feel. What you might say when he does, how you would betray yourself for falling for him when he was so clearly capable of hurting you. 

“You have to let me touch you, I won’t hurt you.” 

You scoffed, “Yeah like I’d believe that.” You hopped off the bed, stepping on wobbly legs. Holding your blanket to your chest. You instantly felt dizzy when you stood up, like your body was shutting down all over again. Your vision was spotting, only making it to the couches when you felt Rens arms surrounding you. 

“Stop moving, you’ll hurt yourself,” he whispered in your ear. 

You threw your arm back, smacking the side of his head, “Let go of me! I don’t-I don’t need your help.” 

Smacking him again and again, whatever was on your side was throbbing now with every movement. His arm was trying to keep a loose grip but you kept squirming away from him. 

“Angel, stop moving!” 

“No!” you sobbed, tears streaming down your face again. You wanted him to let you go, let you fall to the floor, and be at peace. Away from the monster who chained you last night. 

“(Y/N)!” 

You clenched a fist, swinging up at his jaw. Although you were exhausted and sleep-deprived, you could feel the click of bones smashing together. He fell back from you, hands covering his own face, allowing you to fall on your butt to the floor. Chest heaving, you cried into your blanket, desperate for relief from the aching of your body and soul. 

Above you, you heard silent sniffles. Followed by Ren taking a deep breath and probably rubbing his nose on his shirt, “Please. (Y/N), please let me help you.” 

Looking up your eyes locked. No longer were they dead, but full of sadness. Regret, pain, just like your own. They were bloodshot, like he had been crying for hours beforehand, his under eyes were puffy and bruised. Ren sniffled again, reaching out a hand to you. 

Staring back and forth, the hand and his face, you were torn. An unspoken bond between you two had been severed, and now you were faced with the aftermath. 

Slowly you raised your own hand to his, studying how small and delicate it was compared to his palm. Veins scattered across your own skin, discoloration at the wrist, while his own were powerful and callused. Years of work and determination between each muscle, fingers cradling your own. He gently tugged your hand, silently asking you to try and stand up. You raised to your feet, swaying slightly. Ren leaned into you, careful that you wouldn’t fall again. Pulling you back towards the bed, both of you sitting in front of the other. 

You redacted your hand once you were settled, holding again to the blanket. Ren brought his hands to his lap, studying his own wrists. Flexing and stretching them in and out of fists before he spoke again. 

“Yesterday,” he sighed, “Thing’s got a little out of control.” 

You nodded. 

“And it is not my fault that you wouldn’t behave and listen to me…” 

“So you’re blaming me?” you scoffed. 

“Yes.” 

You moved to get up again, but Ren’s hands shot out to stop you, “No no no, I’m not blaming you. Please don’t move.” 

“I needed you to understand your place in all this…” he looked down at your side. 

“And what is my place Ren,” you whispered. 

“It’s with me. (Y/N), it’s with me, now and forever.” 

You shut your eyes, tears forming once more. 

“What happened Kylo?” 

He got up, hoisting you into his arms in a bridal carry. Walking to the bathroom. Kicking open the doorway and settling you on the ground between him and the mirror. He said nothing, just grabbed the hem of your shirt and tugged. Understanding what he wanted you lifted your shirt off, closing your eyes, afraid of what you might see. He let out a deep breath, fingers lightly trailing up and down your spine and over towards the affected area. 

You opened your eyes and gasped. 

You looked terrible. 

Your hair was in a knotted mess. Someone, hopefully Ren, had tried to put it in a bun last night but instead maybe tied it in a bow? Your face was splotchy and red, eyes bloodshot like his. Your lips were pink and swollen, puffed up on the inside from the gag being in. Eye makeup smeared across your cheeks and down to your neck. 

Your eyes scanned yourself in the mirror, slowly moving towards your left side. Film, you saw a film on your side. Almost like a saran-wrap texture across your skin, taking up the lower portion of your left rib cage and waist. You lifted your arm, revealing the source of your pain. 

Gasping, you instinctively went to touch it, Ren grabbing your wrist before you could. You had a tattoo. 

Not just any tattoo, but a name. Written in his own handwriting, across your ribcage. The ink was slightly bleeding, along with your skin attempting to pucker under your movements. It was an elegant tattoo, simple and beautiful. If it weren’t for the demon who gave it to you unwillingly you would’ve loved it. But the demon was standing behind you, staring into your soul. Holding you hostage for the second time. 

“Why,” you croaked out. Not moving your gaze from the mark. 

He swallowed behind you, “You forced my hand.” 

“Excuse me?” 

Ren stared at the tattoo, his left hand coming across the film. Slowly tracing the lines of his own name, like he had never seen the words before. “Now you’ll never forget how much I love you.” 

The words fell on your ears like a curse. All the blood rushing to your head. You felt like you were going to pass out, jerking away from him but he held you still. Breathing menacingly behind you, ready to eat you if you denied his declaration. What kind of sick and twisted game was this? It was fun when you two were fooling around but this, this was wrong. He belonged to someone else and now, now he had gone too far. 

He spun you around, forcing you to look him in the eyes. “You’ll never forget that you belong to me, and me alone.” His hand locked on your jaw, forcing you into a kiss. Angry and passionate between both your lips, you tried to back away. You needed air or something to get away from him. Just so you could clear your head. He wouldn’t let go, causing you to sob against him. He pulled you into his chest, pressing your head to listen to his heartbeat. You cried into his shirt, staining it with your tears.   
Lifting you to the sink, standing between your open legs he massaged your scalp. Allowing you to cry into his hands. He didn’t try to stop you, only coaxing you to let it all out, reminding you to breathe when you started hiccuping. You weren’t sure how long you cried, but he never left you. Never stopped holding you, kissing your forehead, whispering how much he needed you during the process. Despite his continued movements, your head was pounding. Crying, followed by anxiety attacks and more crying was not giving you the best start to your day. You needed water, a shower and to sleep. 

“Please, please stop,” you begged him. 

Ren stopped his movements, “What do you need, Angel?” 

“Can we shower, and go home?” you heaved, “Please. I need to go home Kylo.” 

“Okay.” 

\----- 

Ren showered you, dressed you, and drove you back to the apartment. Neither of you saying a word to each other. Allowing the comfortable silence to bathe the both of you. Once you pulled up to your house he was at your side once more, opening your door and holding your hand up the stairs. 

Inside your living room were 6 bodies, hovering over the coffee table. Each one grumbling and laughing with one another like they belonged there. Ren cleared his throat, “We’re back gentlemen. You may resume your posts.” 

“Yes, Mr. Ren.” they all spoke in unison. Not one of them looked at you as you clung to his side. Not wanting to get into a petty argument with Ushar or Vicrul after your difficult evening. 

“Let’s get you to bed okay, Angel? I have to tie up some loose ends back at the office but the Knights will be here watching over you.” 

“Oh, okay,” you whispered. Slowly walking up the stairs. Since your shower, your tattoo has become itchy and hurt even more. Ren wouldn’t allow you to remove the film, telling you that the artist demanded it stay on for another week. That way the skin wouldn’t get infected. Although you hated the tattoo, the last thing you needed was to end up with an infection with your boss’s name on your ribcage. 

Ren pulled back the sheets, being sure to guide you to your preferred side of the bed. He tucked you in and sat on the edge of the bed, staring at you. “What are you looking at?” 

He sighed, “Just you (Y/N), always you.” he leaned in and gave you a kiss. Getting up and shutting off the lights to your room. Leaving you alone to feel the repercussions of his actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ren loves us? What a weird way of showing it... Okay so he's a delusional boy alright, and he craves control. Seriously. This chapter hurt me to write but it needed to be done so the two can progress in a 'nonhealthy' way.


	9. Dark Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the tattoo...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, two updates in one day (Check my Tumblr @maybe-your-left)? Wow, Emily must be on a roll... but seriously I’ve been slacking on posting and I’m SORRY. I STILL AM WRITING IM JUST VERY SLOW BC MY MIND GOES A MILE AN HOUR ;) 
> 
> TW: NSFW, dom/sub vibe, dirty talk, choking, infidelity, voyeurism, slapping, spitting, nasty BOY REN, body mods

You awoke, sweaty, and sobbing. 

Screaming into the darkness of your room, clutching onto the sheets and trying to ground yourself with the familiar scent. You couldn’t see anything, you clawed at your face afraid that you were blindfolded again by him. 

“Is everything okay, Angel?” Ren burst into the room, throwing the lights on. He looked like he had just run a marathon, his undershirt stained with whatever he was eating earlier along with his sweatpants hanging dangerously low on his hips. His cheeks were red, his breaths fast and shallow, “I heard screaming, are you alright?” 

He rushed to your side, brushing your hair away from your face. Being sure to cradle your tear-stained cheeks. All you could do was cry, everything in the past 24 hours had been so hard on you, you felt like you were falling apart. 

“It’s okay, I’m here. Kylo’s here baby,” he cooed, weaving his fingers into your unruly bedhead. For a brief moment, you melted, wanting nothing more to just be with him. Allowing his presence to fight off the demons of your dreams, he was your knight in shining armor. Coming to you when you were in need. As quickly as you relaxed, you stiffened remembering that he was not your savior. He was the shadow in the night, that taunted you to follow him further into the black abyss that was his life. 

“Don’t touch me,” you hissed. Ripping your head back and clutching the blankets to your face. He just stared at you, his face blank. Like you hadn’t just denied his expression of love and devotion, sitting there with his hands still suspended in the air. “Why are you here?” 

“This is my home, Angel,” he dropped his hands. 

You scoffed, “No it’s not. You have your own home. I thought you had to go to work anyway.” 

Ren smiled at you, “Angel, that was hours ago. It’s 4 AM. You’ve been passed out since I left.” 

Your eyes widened, spinning to your side to look at your phone. Sure enough, it was 4 AM, and along with dozens of missed calls from Ren. Finn and Rose had messaged you about wine and cheese night. “Fuck” you mumbled, you had completely slept through your meeting with them. Maybe they didn’t show up at your house, Finn would have recognized the Knights if they showed up, or worse Ren could’ve intercepted them. 

“Don’t worry about your friends,” Ren sighed, “Ushar was sure to ward them off when they showed up.” 

He settled next to you, pulling the covers back and slipping his legs underneath. Opening his arms as an invitation for you to snuggle in, “Let’s sleep now, Angel,” he motioned for you to come closer. 

You glared at him, unsure of what to do. He was a monster, unable to understand how confused and betrayed you were about the whole tattoo ordeal. Ren just seemed to assume that nothing was wrong anymore, that it didn’t even happen. And now he was claiming that he was in love with you! What kind of bullshit is that? 

Next to you, Ren was snuggled into his side, staring at you as you sat up in thought. One of his hands came out of the covers to trail along your arm, delicately tracing patterns up and down your flesh. You weren’t ready to let him cuddle into you again, but the bed was calling for you. Ready to caress your sore form, snuggling in the sheets he so lovingly picked out. Settling back down, you looked away from him, not ready to see Rens honeyed eyes staring into your soul. They were lit up like a lighthouse during a foggy storm. He wanted you to see him, and you couldn’t. After everything, you didn’t want to break in front of him. 

——- 

The next day was a blur, trying to explain to Finn and Rose why your house had security. And having to keep Ren off your back was exhausting. Every turn you did in the apartment you were met with his hulking form, trying to take care of you, offer you food, take you shopping, anything that would make you happy. But you just felt numb. 

The only thing that had a feeling was your tattoo, it was so sore. Peeling and itching, begging to be released from the film. Ren had caught you picking at it and swatted your hands away, possibly bruising your knuckles in the process. 

Since it was the weekend both of you were at the house, which was driving you crazy. All you wanted was some time away from him but he kept following you around. After the third time, he tried to bribe you with food you snapped, “Why aren’t you going home to Rey?” 

He looked at you confused, cocking his head to the side, “Why would I do that?” 

“Uh,” you groaned, “Just fucking answer the question dude! We aren’t even dating and yet you’re here every day. And you’re fucking married! To another woman!” 

“That doesn’t matter,” he nodded. Setting down the plate of food on the bedside table. Taking a seat in front of you and grasping your hands in his own. 

“Yes it does,” you tried yanking from his grip, but he had a lock on you. He hummed in response, pulling your knuckles to his lips and placing light kisses on each one. 

“What’s upsetting you Angel?” he mumbled, “You’re usually not this feisty.” 

“Upsetting me? On top of everything else that’s happened?” you huffed, “You’re fucking married! And you marked me, when you're probably still fucking her too!” 

He hummed again, eyes not leaving your hands. 

“Don’t hmm me! How am I supposed to be okay with any of this?” 

“Does it upset you that I may or may not be fucking my wife,” he looked up at you. His eyes shooting daggers into your soul, he looked irritated but there was also a hint of something else. A glimmer of almost excitement in his eyes. 

“Well,” you looked away, “It’s none of my business what you do with her…”

“Oh is it now? I think you want it to be your business,” he purred, “I think you want to know if I fuck Rey senseless… How I shove my tongue into her dripping cunt every chance I can, how she begs me to cum inside her. Is that what you want to know, Angel?” Ren releases your hands, “Because I can tell you every detail,” he pushed on top of you, grabbing your wrists and pinning them along with your torso into the bed, “I can tell you about yesterday, when I left to go to work…” You gulped, looking away from his predatory gaze. His hot breath fanning over your cheeks, hair dangling down onto your face. 

“I went to my wife’s house,” Ren rested his weight onto you, slightly rubbing his growing erection into the sheets, “ And I pinned her to the kitchen table,” one small thrust, “I ripped her clothes off, and shoved three of my fingers in her tight cunt,” another thrust, “And she begged me… begged me, Angel, to shove my,” a harder grind into you, “Fat cock inside her.” 

You whimpered, each grind he gave you was rubbing against your clit. His clothed erection pressing over and over, even his words were making you wet. Imagining him fucking you like that, just taking what he wants. “Is that what you wish you had?” he whispered into your ear, “For me to come home to just you,” licking a stripe from your earlobe along your jaw, “Or do you like it? Me getting to fuck anything I want on Rey, and not you?” 

“Stop it,” you hissed at him, beginning to thrash out of his snake-like grip. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” he smirked. “Isn’t this what you wanted?” His hands righted, threatening to leave bruises. 

You gulped, “Is she tattooed too?” 

Rens eyebrows furrowed, leaning back and releasing your wrists, “Why would you think that?” 

“Uh because she’s your wife? And you did it to me, your ‘lover’ so.” 

“No.” 

You both stared at each other in silence. Ren’s eyes searched your face, shooting daggers through your heart. It felt so much better knowing that Rey wasn’t marked… but it begged the question of why he would do it to you? Someone who he knew so little about, and now both of you were stuck with the knowledge that his feelings were growing deeper. And so were yours. 

“Kylo,” you whispered. 

His hand came up to cup your cheek, slowly leaning into you, “What is it, Angel?” 

“I-I-I,” you stuttered. 

“I know.” 

Ren leaned in, pulling your lips into a delicate kiss. Easing you into his rhythm, like you were the most precious thing on this earth. You brought your hands up to his shoulders, pulling him closer to you, wanting to feel his muscle against your broken skin. Ren’s hands quickly began to roam, as did his mouth. Sucking and nibbling across your jaw and neck. Moving down towards your collarbone as his large paws skated across your back. Dipping underneath the sleep shirt you had been wearing since yesterday. 

He pulled you into your chest, coiling his arms around you like you would slip away if he didn’t keep you still. His lips sucked another hard welt into your neck, leaving a deep bruise when he popped off, “What is it you want, Angel?” You whimpered, kissing and nipping at his clothed flesh. 

“Do you want this,” he released you and held up his left hand. Showcasing his onyx wedding band, sitting neatly on his finger. Mocking you with someone you felt you could never have, completely marking him as someone else’s even though you were his. “Use your words princess, or you’ll get nothing.” 

“Yes,” you choked, “I want that, I want you Kylo.” 

He hummed, dropping his hand and caressing your left hand, “Does my Angel want a ring of her own?” 

You swallowed, unsure of what he wanted to hear. 

“After I’ve already given you so much?” His grip tightened, caressing your cheek with his cold ring. Tracing the lines of your jaw and up to your lips. “I’ve given you a home, food, and endless amounts of love and you still need more?” 

Nodding, you purse your lips over the ring, “Yes Kylo. I need more.” 

He hummed, leaning back and began tearing his clothes off, “Show me, show me what you need Angel.” He sunk onto the sheets next to you, his cock swinging against his bare stomach. Precum was already leaking from his swollen head, his left hand came down to palm it. Stroking ever so gently up and down his prominent veins, collapsing his fist around the head. “Please Angel.” 

You shot out of bed, ripping your clothes off like you were on fire. All you could think about him, showing you how much he needed you, how much he belonged to you over her. Climbing on the bed again, you position yourself between his open thighs, running your palms across his pale skin. Inching closer and closer to his throbbing cock, Ren looked down at you. His eyes sparkled with appreciation, you were so obedient to him. It’s all he had ever wanted from you. “I’m waiting,” he cooed, removing his hand to bring behind his head. 

You skated your palms back up, careful to scrape his area lightly with your nails. Causing him to groan out when your right hand dropped down to his ballsack. Kneading it over and over, rolling the skin lightly with your fingers. You got closer, gathering spit in your mouth, spitting it into his sack. Then leaning in to take one into your mouth, his scent flooding your nostrils, sucking one at a time, and lavishing it with your tongue. Letting off with a loud pop. 

Your left hand came up to his member, sliding between his stomach and himself you squeezed tightly. Causing his eyes to flutter shut with amusement, Ren was a glutton for pain, and were you going to give it to him. Licking a broad stripe from his balls to the tip, you began sucking him. Soft and slow suction to the head, opening your jaw wide to tease him with the option of fucking down your throat. Rolling his balls as you took more and more of him down. “Such a good girl,” he moaned, bringing a hand down to pinch his nipple. Rolling it in time with your throat accepting his length, you brought a hand up to swat his own away. You quickly brought his small nipple in between your nails, experimentally pinching it. His groans were enough to have you keep going, lifting your head off of his cock to scale up his body. 

Soon the two of you were face to face, breathing heavily in time with one another. Ren’s eyes searching your own, darting over your clumping lashes, tired eyes, and blown-out pupils. His own were black with need, silently begging you to keep going. You brought your left hand up to his throat, delicately tracing his Adam's apple as it bobbed up and down with his nervous swallows. “Please.” he choked out at you. 

You raised your brows, realizing what he wanted, you spread your palm out wide, digging your nails into the column of his neck. He groaned at the dull ache it gave him, his eye momentarily rolling back in his head. You began applying pressure, being sure to keep a good hold around his thick neck, “Do you like this Kylo?” squeezing tighter and his hips began to roll underneath you. Your bare pussy rocking back and forth in time with his movements along his hard cock. Lips gripping onto him for dear life, you started grinding into him. Ren's breaths began to stagger as you applied more pressure to his throat and his cock. “Use both,” he choked out, releasing a hand from your hip and grasping your right hand. Raising it towards his neck, “Please.” 

Nodding you leaned onto your hands, applying more and more pressure while rocking your hips on him again. Ren’s face growing redder with each strangled breath he let out, falling closer and closer to orgasm with every rough thrust. 

“Tell me,” he gasped, his eyes snapping open, “Tell me what a bad boy I’ve been.” 

You looked at him shocked, letting go of his neck slightly, “What?” 

“Fucking tell how bad I’ve been, punish me. Please, Angel.” Ren looked at you with puppy eyes, desperate for you to take control over him, like it was the missing link of your relationship. Something he wasn't able to get with Rey, he didn’t trust her enough, but at this moment he trusted you. 

And you loved it. 

A smile spitting your face in half you lifted one of your hands. Pressing down on his throat quickly so he wouldn’t expect what was coming. Gathering spit from your mouth you pressed down on his cock harshly, spitting on his face, “Filthy boy, so desperate for me.” Ren groaned his tongue darting out to collect the gift you gave him. “You like that? Be spitting on you? Like the whore you are?” 

He looked at you again, nodding as much as he could, “Yes I do, I like it.” 

“Tell me you're my little whore Ren,” you sneered at him. Fist closing around his windpipe as much as it could. His eyes were completely black now, his mouth opening and closing with short breaths as you ground on him. Ren swallowed and shook his head, “No,” he choked. 

“No?” you stopped. 

He shook his head harder, “I’m not your whore.” 

“Is that your final answer Kylo?”

Swallowing again he nodded in agreement, tsking at him in response. You pressed onto his throat hard. Baring your teeth in his face, spit pooling in the corners of your mouth with anger. “Wrong answer little whore.” 

You cracked your right hand down, slapping him as hard as you could across his face. Trying to keep him pinned down with all the weight you had. His eyes were wide open, heaving at you with a strange look. Hands staying where they were previously placed, gripping into your hips. You felt wetness between your legs, looking down you gasped. Ren had cum all over his stomach. Coating the insides of your thighs along with your pussy lips, releasing his throat you gasped. Both of you staring at the mess he made, not sure how to feel about what made him cum. Above you Ren cleared his throat, causing your gaze to flit up at his own. 

“I’m your dirty little whore,” Ren whispered. 

You gulped, “Yeah?” 

“Yeah”

Slowly you dragged a finger through his puddle, bringing your cum covered fingers to his lips. Ren’s chest rising and falling and deep breathes, eyes flitting back and forth between the fingers and your eyes. He slowly opened his mouth, tongue sticking out softly to lay on his bottom lip. You quickly placed them gently down, being sure to wipe them clean on his taste buds, “Clean it all slut, don’t leave any leftover.” Ren wrapped his lips around them, softly moaning at the taste of your skin mixed with his spend. Pulling your fingers free with a pop he looked at you longingly. “Show me you swallowed it all.” 

Ren opened up wide, moving his tongue back and forth to prove he took it all. You hummed in appreciation, loving this soft submissive side he was showing you. Climbing off of him you stood next to the bed. Arms crossed over your chest as you watched him gaze at you. “What do you want me to do Angel?” 

Contemplating for a moment you tapped your chin. Making him sweat a little while he anxiously waited for your response. “I want several things Kylo,” you placed your hands on the mattress, looming over his face. “Do you think you can do them for me?” 

“Yes,” he whispered, eyes never leaving your lips. His cheeks rosy from arousal and your harsh treatment. 

“I want you to fuck my asshole,” he took in a sharp breath. Eyes dilating again with excitement, he nodded. His left hand shooting to the drawer next to him and grabbing the lube out of it, “And?” he raised an eyebrow. 

“And, I want you to leave your wife.” 

Ren froze. 

His eyes were racing back and forth across your face. Seeing if it was a part of your game or not, you kept your face neutral. Unwavering as Ren stood from the bed in front of you. Towering over you, chest heaving, his cock already hard again, poking into your belly button. You glared up at him, needing to stand your ground with this monster of a man. He had already shown you he wanted to be with you, desperate to take care of you and worship your mind and body. All you needed now was the physical proof that he would be yours as you were his. 

His empty hand skated up your arm, over your shoulder to your neck. Landing there softly before coming to cup your cheek. “Is that what you truly want my love?” 

Swallowing you nodded, “Yes Kylo.” 

He leaned forward, placing a small kiss on your forehead before pulling back again. Bringing his left hand in front of your face, looking down at the band on his finger. Ren sighed, running his hand through his hair before dropping it in front of your face again. Releasing your cheek he grabbed his ring, swiftly tugging it off. He didn’t raise his gaze from the band that now sat in his palm, you notice his eyes slowly welling up with tears. Maybe this was the first time he had taken it off willingly for another person, you couldn’t remember when you had seen him without it on even as the two of you grew closer. Taking in a deep breath, Ren closed his eyes, palm closing around the band. Opening them again as he exhaled he looked at you, eyes full of the unknown. Swarming with emotions about what you’ve asked of him, but it was what you wanted. And he hadn’t let you down yet. 

Sighing, he raised his left fist, turning to the side, and tossed his ring over to the window. The onyx band slicing through the glass, allowing it to shatter on your bedroom floor. The cold night air blowing in on your bare skin. His hand came to cup your chin, raising it to his eyes, 

“Okay, for you. I’ll do anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i missed this. missed my dirty boy ren. stay tuned for more DRAMA.


	10. Product of Our Own Sin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a taste of the Ren marriage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna say that I hate this chapter. I cried while writing it but it's important to the story and understanding our lover boy. 
> 
> PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU'RE IN A FRAGILE MENTAL STATE. A LOT OF SHIT HAPPENS. 
> 
> TW: Blood, gore, murder, physical abuse, emotional abuse, gaslighting, infidelity, stalking, mentions of abortion, murder AGAIN, just all around this chapter has a lot. 
> 
> Also this chapter is from a NEW point of view, I hope it answers some questions for you all about some people.

The room reeked of sex. 

Wax oozes down candles that were strewn around the room. The canopy curtains pulled around the bed. Cocooned in the darkness, two bodies breathing heavily. Fulfilled with love for one another, completely at peace once again. 

Turning to the left, his hulking form comes to sight. Shirtless, his strong back muscles facing the side of the bed. He sighed, before laying down on the scarlet sheets, seizing them up to his chin, succumbing to the comfort of the pillow below his tired head. 

“Rest now my love,” you whispered. Planting a soft kiss on his forehead. 

“Anything for you my sweet,” he mumbled back, eyes closing for the evening. 

Once you were sure he was asleep, you peeled yourself out of bed, conscious to not cause him to stir. Pulling back the canopy curtain, you reach for your robe. Quickly tying it across your aching body, grasping your phone as it laid on your bedside table. 

“He’s on the move,” you thought, the location on your phone indicating that Kylo was no longer at his apartment. He soon would be stumbling through the gates of your home. Well, technically it was both your homes. But he hadn’t slept here in a long time, especially since the arrival of her. 

Her. 

The thought of her made you see red. Knowing how easily you had convinced Kylo to abandon you, his own wife? All over again. It was bad enough he was fucking you, but the expense he was going just to keep you around was already draining your joint accounts. 

Stepping out of the bedroom you glanced at your phone again, he was now about 10 minutes away. Walking towards the bathroom you drew your hair back in a bun, trying to not look like you had just spent 3 hours being fucked into a mattress. But Kylo was too stupid to realize what had been going on, too enthralled in his own issues to notice that his wife had also been sneaking around behind his back. However, you were much smarter about it, placing a tracker in his car was the first step you took. Followed by inserting tiny security cameras in his office, along with some microphones in his plants. You hadn’t had the chance to bug his new apartment, he had no idea you even knew about it. But one day your curiosity got the best of you, after that show of power at your luncheon with her, you had to take back some control. Tailing the knights was easy, their loyalties lied with the company, not just Kylo. Once you saw the house you instantly became jealous, why would he get this place for her. It’s not like she was anything special, in fact, Kylo had had plenty of other paralegals who were much prettier. But somehow Kylo picked you, out of the dozens Snoke had hand-picked out for the interviews, he of course chose the one that hadn’t been enticed by Hux or Snoke to do the dirty work. Leaving you with no options to try and keep Kylo snared. 

Sitting in the kitchen you waited, you knew he was home. You had heard the car pull into the garage, clearly he was delaying coming in, or he started doing drugs again. Probably snorting a line in there like he used to do when you first got married. It’s not like you could blame him, his marriage to you was a lot more than he bargained for. And in the beginning, he worked so hard, but then everything got worse with time. Things went downhill after the first affair, and then an even worse tumble when he had gotten the poor woman pregnant. 

You remember the conversation you shared with her, she was so frightened. Practically shaking in the chair across from yours at the breakfast table. She was young too, thought Kylo was the love of her life, even though he had beat her to the point of death after she had told him about the baby. You’ll never forget how scared he was coming home, knuckles bloody and bruised, practically groveling on the floor for your forgiveness, sobbing into your feet as you stood before him. What a shell he had become, no longer was he the smart young man you fell in love with, no longer your sweet Ben. 

No, now he was a pawn. A little piece of the puzzle that fit into your grand scheme. The love for him died that day, when you had to kill her. Her weeping form in that very chair that still sits across from you. 

“You don’t want this,” you whispered to her, clutching the coffee mug with both hands. 

“What do you mean? Of course, I do. Kylo and I both,-” 

You slammed the table, “Don’t do this. Don’t let that man ruin you, like he did me. Do you understand that? He’s never going to love you.” 

She just stared at you with tears in her eyes, a hand covering her open mouth as she sobbed. 

“Ben and I tried for years to conceive a child. And now you,” you had pointed a finger in her face, “You’re the one who gets it? That’s not how this ends, you’re nothing but an insignificant whore who lusted after my husband.” 

She sobbed more, one hand falling to her already swollen tummy, “I won’t let you do this, I love him and I love our child together,” she hiccuped. 

Unable to hold in your rage you shot up, stomping into the kitchen, staring at the knife block on the counter. “You know, we could make a deal?” you slowly turned towards her bloodshot eyes, “We could pay for the medical expenses since you are so adamant on keeping the bastard, and you do us a favor in return.” 

“Anything, please.” 

“Come here,” you motioned with your fingers. She stood slowly, wiping the tears and snot from her face, “Come now we don’t have all day.” Coming in front of you, you stared at her, all you ever wanted was a child with him, but not that was gone. Now all you wanted was revenge, for everything he had done to you. He deserved to hurt, to understand that this is not acceptable, he would bleed for this. Clutching a knife behind your back you gave her one last smile. 

“I’m,” she choked, looking up at you in shame, “I’m so sorry Rey.” 

You clucked your tongue at her, “Oh my sweet little one,” you placed a hand on her cheek, “Not as sorry as you’re going to be. 

And with that, you stabbed her, right through the stomach. Being sure to cut up and over, the womb being sliced open in the process. You remember the howls in pain, the tears, but all you saw was a relief. Knowing that you took this from her, nothing could stop you now. Pulling the knife out you grabbed her lifeless body, dragging it across the floor to them plop her down in the chair. Her eyes were glossy, body hemorrhaging blood. One last thing to do before you felt at peace, you ripped open her womb, pulling out the dead fetus. Plopping it on the table, to show Kylo what he had done, and what you were prepared to do to keep him forever. 

The night you called him from downstairs, he came down so slowly, like a child avoiding being scolded by his mother. He halted once your eyes met, seeing the blood all over your hands and shirt. But all you could do was smile, knowing you had taken his happiness all over again. 

He cried for hours. 

Sobbed over the table, clutching the small child. Oh, how he longed to be a father all those years ago, but he never got it. He kept asking you why, over and over. All you did was smile, even started laughing at his tears, throwing a rag at his feet, “Clean it.” 

He stared at you with weeping eyes, slowly grabbing the towel and began wiping up the mess. You watched him for hours as he cleaned, placing her gently in a body bag. Afterward, he stared at the chair you had placed her in, saying nothing. 

That was the day you began to hate him. 

He would never love you like he loved his whores, but he knew he was trapped. His neck stuck under your heel every day he took in a new breath. His cries were like a drug, filling you with a euphoria. And oh how good it felt when you hit him. The day you sliced his face open was pure bliss. He never backed down, only apologized, and tried to show you how much he would try to not anger you again, you knew he was scared of you. Wouldn’t dare cross you after you shattered him. 

The door slamming shit broke you from your remembrance. Watching as his shoes carried him to the dimly lit kitchen. His dark eyes looking down at the tile, his hands in his dress slacks that you knew he had worn to work yesterday. Not even bothering to hide his deceit anymore. Head hanging low, stopping a few feet from your crossed ankles. 

“You’re home late.” 

He sniffed, pulling a hand out to brush through his hair, “I didn’t know that you were still awake.” 

“I worry about you baby,” you lied, placing a smile on your face, “Working such long hours, not able to come home.” 

“Humm,” he looked up at the chair, hesitant to take a seat. He sighed and shuffled over, taking a heavy seat down, placing his hand back on his lap, still not looking at you. “How was your day?” 

“Oh,” you purse your lips, “It was fine, I missed you so much handsome.” 

His eyes flashed up at yours, a smirk spread on his face, “Now now sweetheart, you’re laying it on a little thick. What are you hiding from me?” 

Raising an eyebrow you braced your forearms on the table, begin sure to tap your long nails, “I would never hide anything from you, Ben.” 

Kylo’s smile fell, you haven't called him Ben to his face in years. Not since the incident, you vowed never to utter it again unless you really wanted to piss him off. It was all the sweeter when he tried to fight back when you would inevitably crush him. 

He leaned forward, mirroring your stance with your hands. Curiously he was covering his left hand. A scowl flashed across your face, he wouldn’t do that, he didn’t have the balls to do that to do. Kylo had too much to lose if he did, like an abandoned puppy, he was unable to run anywhere else. 

“Show me your hand, Ben.” 

His eyes blew wide, quickly placing his hands back under the table, “I need to shower,” he began standing up but you were quicker. Flipping the table and advancing on him, you snarled in his face, “Show me your hand.” Kylo swallowed, he looked guilty. Reluctantly he raised his hand, showing his wedding band long gone. You grasped it, eyes wide. Anger boiling in your veins, never had he done this. Not in the years of his affairs, he had never abandoned you, always keeping his ring on even as he fucked those whores senseless. 

“Where is it, Ben.” 

He sniffed, unable to look at you again, “I don’t know what you mean.” 

You smacked him harshly, sharp and short. Kylo winced at the contact, it made you so happy, knowing the power you had over him. “Tell me what you did.” He still said nothing, not dragging his hand away, “Not going to say anything, too scared now?” 

He coughed, “I’m not afraid.” 

You smiled, hearing the waver in his voice. His body betrayed him, already shaking under your touch. “Did she take it from you?” 

His eyes snapped up, “No-no, no Rey. She isn’t part of this.” He scrambled for words, not wanting to show his true feelings for her, like you didn’t already know what he had done, what he was planning to do. “Please Rey, I’m so tired. Please let me go to bed.” 

“No.” 

Kylo’s eyes began welling up with tears, unable to get away from you, he would never touch you. You were his first; friend, lover, wife. You were once his everything before it all, he didn’t know what to do without you. “Please, I’m sorry.” 

“Why are you sorry, Ben?” 

“Please don’t call me that,” he begged, tears now flowing down his cheeks, “You know I don’t like it anymore.” 

“You’re right,” you spit at him, “It doesn’t suit you anymore, Ben wasn’t a lying coward like you are Kylo Ren.” Your grip tightened on his hand, being sure to crunch his knuckles together in the process. “Now tell me, where is your ring?” 

“It’s gone,” he choked, trying to pull his hand free, “I got rid of it.” 

You saw red, smacking him again, releasing his hand and grasping his shoulders, shoving him to the floor with all your strength, he groaned as his back collided with the tile, attempting to roll away from you. But he wasn’t going to slip away that easy, slamming your bare foot on his neck, he halted. Eyes desperate for release, hands grasping your ankles in an attempt to peel you off. Pressing down harder he choked, “Do you love her?” 

Kylo sobbed, closing his eyes, “I’m sorry, please Rey. I’m so sorry.” 

“No, you’re not,” you dug your heel down, wanting to crush his Adam’s apple in the process. But no, people needed him alive for the time being, “You don’t even feel one ounce of guilt, do you?” 

He said nothing, just squeezed his eyes closed. Waiting for you to deliver a final blow so he could scurry up the stairs and hide in the bathroom like he did when you punished him. “Answer me!” 

Kylo wailed, “I feel guilty! Everyday,” his eyes shot open, “Every day just for waking up.” He sobbed more, dropping his hands to the ground and just letting his emotions free, unable to stop himself. 

You stepped off of him, scoffing in disgust at the shell of a man below you, “She’ll never love you, you know that.” 

He whimpered, eyes closing as he rolled to his side. 

“No one could ever love a pathetic little boy like you, that’s why your parents left you. Why all your friends left you. She will leave you too.” 

Kylo nodded on the floor, crying even harder. 

“I’m all you have left Ben. I suggest you get used to it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Rey is a horrible wife.


	11. You've Ruined It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get another glimpse into the Ren marriage. Learning of the ins and outs of others and a little fun along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't give away anything, but please don't kill me. 
> 
> TW: NSFW, manipulation, cereal eating, physical abuse, mental abuse, infidelity, flashbacks, mention of blood.

The bed was empty as you woke up, a cold breeze coming into the room. Causing you to pull the blankets up higher, shielding your body from the cold, groaning you burrowed in the covers, “Kylooo, fuckin’ close the window, it’s freezing!” 

You heard nothing, guess he wasn’t in the bathroom. It’s not like he could’ve gotten very far, both of you after the last conversation just spent the rest of the night making soft love to each other. Falling asleep in each other's arms, soft kisses being shared as you drifted off. But now he was absent, you don’t remember him getting up but maybe there was some other business he had to attend too. 

Stepping out, being sure to bundle up since the broken window was causing a draft. You went downstairs, startled to see Ushar sitting on your couch eating Ren’s cereal. “What are you doing?” 

“Oh shit,” he stumbled off, setting the bowl down, “Sorry, didn’t know you were up.” He smiled at you, “I was hungry, and you guys haven’t gotten around to grocery shopping yet.” 

You smirked, “It’s cool dude,” walking over to the coffee pot, “Have you seen Ren?” 

Ushar froze, “Uh no, he left last night. Told me to watch the house.” 

“Oh,” you whispered. Why had he left? You guys had a good night together, working through some of your issues. Through sex, since your relationship started that way, and it did seem like that was the only way he was good at communicating. “Did he say anything else?” 

Ushar came into the kitchen, depositing his bowl in the sink, “Just saying he wouldn’t be back for a while. He seemed jittery.” 

“That’s weird.” 

“I mean, Rens a weird guy,” Ushar smirked, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed, “How are you doing? Since the uh..” 

“Tattoo?” you finished for him, “I’ve been better, but that’s how it seems to be with him, one step forward two steps back.” You sighed, taking a drink of your coffee, “Oh, we need to replace the window in my room, it broke.” 

Ushar scoffed, “I can’t imagine how that happened.” 

\-----

Bugs. 

Bugs were crawling all over his skin. Itching up and down his arms and legs, daring to move closer and closer to his face with each movement. He had to get rid of them, kill them, anything to get them off of him. Kylo flinched as he felt more and more covering his body, shooting up off the tile floor in the process. The sun shining in through drawn grey curtains, barely illuminating the cold kitchen. 

Ah, he was at his married home, with Rey upstairs. She hadn’t even bothered to let him up after last night, not like she ever really did. Instead, she let him pass out on the floor after crying himself to sleep. Oh, how he longed to have stayed with his true love, to be held in your arms. Smelling your soft hair, feeling the supple skin of your body against his. Nothing in the world felt that good, not even when he was doing drugs. 

Kylo shook himself at the memory, no he didn’t need to go down that road again. It was just another way he had allowed himself to be manipulated by Rey and her goons, keeping him so doped up he didn’t even notice the illegal work he was doing with the Order. But now he knew, and he was unfortunately a part of it, working with Snoke and Palpatine was a mistake. One that he regrets, but there was no way out of his contract. 

Rolling off the floor, he stood up on aching feet. Another issue with sleeping on the floor is that he forgot to take off his shoes, which he vowed to never do again. Kylo slowly ascended the stairs, halting at the top. He stared at the double doors at the end of the hallway. Rey was behind those doors, sleeping in the bed they once used to make love in.

The early years of their relationship were wonderful, back when he was an undergrad. And still went by the name Ben, he had met Rey at a party. Visiting a local college and getting too drunk at a frat party, he remembered throwing up on her. The best way to meet your future wife, but she was so kind to him. And he was so lonely, so far away from his family, no friends at school. Not even a girlfriend to warm his bed at night, so of course, he melted for her. Wanting to give her everything she wanted, just because she took care of him that night. 

And all the following nights, she was there. The night she took his virginity was awkward, but he would never forget it. She was rough with him, telling him what to do, screeching when he didn’t understand. He wasn’t a ladies man, most people were terrified of him, so the intimacy was new for him. After that day she changed, demanding him to see her all the time. To the point where his grades started slipping, and he lost his scholarships. Forcing him to take a job on campus which she did not like at all. Rey had expected him to be there with her, even though her school was a four-hour drive from his. One day he was late to see her and she wasn’t answering his calls, being curious he went inside her dorm and found her fucking another man. She stared at him while riding the other man, yelling, “This is what you get when you don’t listen to me.” 

The last thing he remembers was running away from her in tears, his heart split in two from her deceit. Only to be pushed down the stairs, waking up in the hospital. Rey seated next to him reading a magazine, only acknowledging him once she saw he was awake, “Hi baby, you okay?” 

Kylo only grunted, causing Rey to move closer to him. But he couldn’t get away, the only thing he could do was cry, “You had a nasty fall, the doctors say you are lucky to be alive.” 

Looking around the room he saw no injuries on his legs, the only thing he could see was an IV in his hand. Lifting his other to his face he felt the bandages, all across his head. The more he touched the more upset he got, tears flowing down his face, a migraine starting to split his brain in two. 

“They had to shave it, you cracked your head open. You should be more careful, those stairs are slippery.” 

Kylo ran a hand through his hair, an instinct he had now after Rey had first scarred him. Thankfully his hair had grown enough in time for his graduation, the last time he saw his parents. Oh, how they loved Rey, completely gushing over how grateful they were for taking care of him. His own mother had pulled him aside, handing him a wedding ring, and told him, “She’s perfect for you, so sweet. Exactly what I imagined for you, just what you deserve.” 

“What I deserve,” Kylo mumbled, turning away from the doors and walking into the guest room, now his room. What was left of his clothing and other personal effects that Rey had kept all these years, waiting to destroy them at the right moment if he slipped up again. Throwing his shoes off, he walks into the bathroom, turning the shower on and staring at himself in the mirror. His cheek was bruised, eye slightly bloodshot. His undereye bags were the worst part, they were puffy and purple. In addition to last night's events, he had also spent so many hours trying to comfort you. Peeling off his clothes he climbed in, allowing the water to soothe his body. 

He stood under it for a few minutes, just trying to recenter himself, getting lost in the warmth it provided. A pair of slender arms wrapped around his waist, smooth hands rubbing up and down his stomach. Kylo sighed, believing it was your delicate fingers tracing his happy trail down to his hardening cock. You were just what he needed right now, your soft lips pressing into his shoulder, humming at his taste. Kylo’s hands fell to your arms, rubbing his fingers up and down your skin, pushing your hands closer to his cock. A small snicker came from behind him as your left hand grasped the base. Nails slightly scratching him in the process. 

But something was wrong, you didn’t have long nails. Nor did one of your fingers have a band on it that was now digging into his erection. Kylo gasped as the nails dug harder into him, practically screaming when he realized where he was. “Fuck Rey, let go of me!” 

“Why would I do that,” she purred, “You seem to be enjoying it.” 

Kylo spun around, yanking her hands off him. He scowled at her smiling face, “Don’t fucking touch me.” 

Rey ripped her hands out of his, placing them on his chest, “But you’re my husband, and it’s been so long since we’ve had each other.”

Staring down at her Kylo backed away, “You’re not my wife anymore. Get out of my shower.” 

“Is that so,” she smiled up at him, her hands skating up towards his neck, “I’m pretty sure I am your wife, and I know you’ve missed me.” 

Exhaling Kylo tried once again to get out of her grasp, but his struggles only caused her to dig her nail further into his skin, “I want a divorce, Rey.” He whispered, not daring to look her in the eyes. 

She smiled again, bringing her lips up to his own, “I don’t think you do.” 

“Yes,” he moved his face away, “I do.” 

“Your body is telling me otherwise,” her eyes flashed down to look at his hard cock, stuck between them. Kylo grunted, trying to create some distance between them, “It’s just because I thought you were someone else.” 

“Liar,” she gripped onto his cock, squeezing so hard. Barely walking the line between pain and pleasure. “You don’t know what you want Kylo, you just need to be reminded.” 

Kylo shut his eyes, hands clenched into fists at his side. Trying to re-center himself before he did something that would tip Rey to insanity, if he hurt her he would have to answer to much more powerful people than himself. “Please let go of me, Rey.” 

She scowled at him, letting go of him finally. Turning around from him and huffing as she pouted, “You just don’t love me anymore, too caught up with every whore who gives you attention.” 

He snapped, pinning Rey to the wall in front of her. Kylo snarled in her ear, “Don’t talk about her like that. She is better than you’ve ever been to me.” Rey was squirming from his grasp but all he could think about was defending you, his nasty wife wasn’t going to worm her way back into his heart. Not again. 

“Let go of me you asshole!” 

“No,” he yelled over her, “You don’t get to do that to me. I want a fucking divorce, Rey.” 

She started laughing, “Getting bold aren’t we,” Rey then backed her ass into Kylos hips. Crushing his still hard cock between the two of them. “Does it turn you on thinking you have control? Is that why you can’t stop fucking her?” 

Kylo let go of her, staring down at himself in disgust as she kept backing into him over and over, Looking over her shoulder to watch his face contorted in pleasure and anger. “How about we make a deal,” she hummed, “You can fuck me, and I’ll give you the papers.” 

His eyes snapped up at her, desperate to see if she was lying or not. She just stared at him with a smile, not stopping her grinding, causing his body to react by bucking into her. Kylo couldn’t help it, he had once thought she was the most beautiful girl, and sex had gotten better with her throughout the years. But he couldn’t get the thought of you out of his head, how much it would hurt you, yesterday he had lied to you about what he was doing with Rey. They hadn’t slept in the same bed in almost two years, he just wanted to see you jealous. Now he could change his relationship with you, following through with what you wanted. 

Just at a price. 

“What’s it gonna be, Benny?” 

Kylo growled, gripping her face between his hands. Slamming her into the wall once more, “Just this once?” He swallowed watching her eyes search his face, mouth attempting to smile between his tight grip, “Of course.” 

Quickly Kylo decided what he was going to do, for you. 

Pushing her face into the tile his other hand grasped his cock, lining it up with her pussy. He didn’t care to prep her, she didn’t deserve that, he just needed to get it over with. Shoving his cock into her, she squealed. Hand digging into her hip and slamming into her, closing his eyes and imagining that the moans were from you. Wishing he was fucking into your tight pussy, walls clenching around his length. Each thrust was more brutal than the last, water splashing against his strong back as he fucked Rey. Her moans and declarations of how much she missed his cock were annoying, he wished she would just be quiet so she wouldn’t ruin his fantasy. 

Soon the water got cold. Kylo pulled out of her, earning a snarl from her and some nails digging into his bicep, “I don’t think so Solo, I haven’t cum yet.” 

Rolling his eyes he shut off the water and picked up Rey, slinging her over his shoulder. Walking out of the bathroom into his room, throwing her on the bed. Both of their bodies were soaking wet, seeping into the sheets. But Kylo didn’t care, he needed to cum so he could get a divorce. He thrust his knee between her legs, forcing them wider as she leaned back on her forearms. Kylo lined himself up again, pushing in with a groan. It didn’t help that she was clenching him so hard, almost like she hadn’t been fucked in two years. Leaning over her, he stared at the headboard, listening it ram into the wall with every thrust. 

Rey’s hands snaked up his chest, gripping onto his shoulders and pulling him down to face her. Mouth opened in bliss as his cock rammed inside her, one of her hands found its way into his hair. Pulling on it like her life depended on it, the other going down to her clit. The more she rubbed the tighter she squeezed him, ruining his pace. Kylo leaned up, grabbing one leg and slinging it around his hip, fucking into her almost sideways. She used to love this position when they were happy. “Fuck Ben, your cock is so good!” 

Kylo shut his eyes, trying to get her to cum before he blew his load, “Fuck Rey, are you close? You’re so tight-fuck-are you gonna cum for me?” 

Her eyes slammed shut, “Yes yes yes! Fuuckkkkkk…Kylo!” She screamed, clenching around him so hard he felt like his cock was going to snap off. Rey sprung forward, attacking Kylo’s lips in a powerful kiss. He couldn’t stop himself, moaning into her. She wasn’t as good as you, but fuck he needed to cum, throwing himself on her with all he had left. Groaning as his orgasm washed over him, cock spilling into her for the first time in years. 

“Good boy,” Rey cooed, pressing kisses onto his lips as his breathing calmed down. “You came so hard baby.” 

\----- 

Your phone buzzed at least six times on the kitchen counter. But you were too busy to look at it as you, Ushar, and Cardo were unpacking groceries. Since Kylo wasn’t where you needed him to help the knights swooped in at the last minute. 

“Are you gonna fucking answer that,” Cardo called from the fridge. 

Rolling your eyes you looked at him from the pantry, “I’m busy! Can’t you see,” lifting up soup cans to emphasize your point. Switching your gaze over to Ushar who was sitting on the island you yelled at him, “Will you see who it is please Ushar?” 

“Sure,” he laughed. Grabbing your phone and opening the messages. All from an unknown number, a total of 4 videos were attached to it. 

'I told you not to trust him.'

Pressing play, the sounds echoed in the kitchen, “Fuck Rey, are you close? You’re so tight-fuck-are you gonna cum for me?” Slapping sounds filled the air, no one was moving, it felt like you were dying, another voice started speaking. 

“Yes yes yes! Fuuckkkkkk…Kylo!”

Ushar dropped the phone, looking over at you with wide eyes. But you couldn’t move, you knew that voice, so many times it had asked you if you were close, how tight you were. And she was there. 

All you could do was scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry. 
> 
> this chapter is awful but had to happen.


	12. Flash Bang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we face Kylo after the text message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM BACK BABY. i just wanted to say again, this is fiction. nothing that I write here is supposed to emulate a healthy relationship, Kylo ren is a FICTIONAL character. who is mean and vile to people, his canon character does not give a shit about anyone because he doesn't even love himself. 
> 
> In no WAY is this fic a 'jab' at Adam Driver's real marriage, which someone in the comments of last chapter decided to pull out of thin air. Its a fiction story, I don't like REYLO so I'm obviously going to mock it in a story I'm writing, it has nothing to do with the Driver's marriage. There are much worse fics, that actually use his wife name and pokes fun at their marriage and this is NOT one of them. I respect his life and privacy and wish them nothing but the best, but his characters are free fucking game. 
> 
> TW: Swearing, under the table fondling, Crylo Ren.

Your body went onto autopilot, running away from both the knights as they tried to comfort you. Arms spread out, voices garbled from the ringing in your ears. All you could do was run, bare feet carrying you out the front door and down the sideway. It was about 2 in the afternoon, most people were home with their families on Sundays. But not you, all you could feel was the harsh pavement against your toes. Behind you was yelling, the sound of a car turning on and peeling out on the road. 

They were coming to get you, to contain you. Maybe even dispose of you now that Kylo and Rey had reunited. Soon you would be thrown out of your home, car taken away, and worst of all your heart would be taken too. 

Even though you hadn’t told him, you knew he knew. 

You loved him, wearing the necklace he got you every day. Reminding you of the promises he gave you, never breaking them until now. 

Turning down an alleyway you lost the knights. Sprinting now towards the Brooklyn bridge. Wanting to stare at the water when you yanked the necklace off your kiss bruised neck, tossing it out into the abyss. 

Behind you, there were sirens, somewhere in the city people were being brought to justice. That’s what you did for others, made your whole career on that. It was something you loved, helping innocent people out of a tough time, but the Order wasn’t like that. Dark and twisted, working with known criminals. You had forgotten who you were, allowed Ren to take that from you. 

But not anymore. 

You would bring him to justice for what he’s done. 

\----- 

Driving to work alone was odd, you hadn’t done it in months. But it gave you time to appreciate how calming it was to just be alone. You hadn’t had this silence in so long, you had forgotten what it felt like. 

After your abrupt departure from the apartment yesterday, Ren had shown up with flowers and presents. Only to find that you weren’t there, you had no idea what the knights had told him, and you didn’t care. Not even bothering to go home, opting instead to go to Rose’s house. Vowing to not shed a single tear, this is what you got for sleeping with a married man.   
You should’ve known better. 

Shutting your car off you sat for a moment, trying to steel yourself for whatever was waiting for you upstairs. You sighed, climbing out and smoothing your skirt, as ready as you’ll ever be. 

The elevator door dinged, giving you a view of the lobby. The receptionist still wasn’t chirper with you, but the Order seemed to do that to people so you paid her no mind. Walking down the hallway, you were unsure of what to do. Should you just go in? What if he wasn’t there? Would he even want you to come in? 

“Miss (Y/N)!” 

Whipping around you saw Palpatine walking towards you, a crooked smile on his old weathered face. “I’m so glad you’re here, Ren said you might be taking a personal day.” 

You grit your teeth, flashing him a tight smile, “Nope, I wasn’t planning on it.” 

“Well, I’m glad to hear that, we were all just sitting down for a staff meeting,” he smiled at you, “Do come in once you’ve settled.” 

You gave him a stiff smile and went inside Ren’s office, thankful that the lights were off and he was nowhere inside. Dropping off your bag you grabbed your notebook and your phone, rechecking your appearance before stepping back out. The walk to the board room felt long, like the hallway kept stretching as you approached the double doors. Behind was the person you didn’t want to see, all you could think of when his face came up was his moans with Rey. Shaking your head to rid the memory, you whipped open the door and waltzed in. 

All the other lawyers of the firm were seated around the glass table, mumbling to one another. State coffee and doughnuts being shared before the meeting began, at the head of the table was someone you didn’t recognize. He was older, about Palpatine’s age, but he had a different aura about him. His eyes were looking directly at you, a sickly smile spreading across his scar riddled face as he watched you approach the table. Hands folded on the table as he studied you, next to him sat Ren, focusing on the paperwork in his hands. He hadn’t looked up yet so you were sure he didn’t know you were here. You decided to just take a seat at the opposite side of the table, completely avoiding him. 

“Ah,” the scarred man boomed, everyone’s eyes snapping up to look at him, “You must be Ren’s new paralegal I’ve heard so much about.” 

You froze, eyes wide in fear as he stared you down, Ren’s face moved to look at you, his eyes momentarily showing whatever his version of shame was before stealing back to his normal vacant stare. His jaw clenched and unclenched as he looked you up and down. “I’m so glad you could make it sweet thing,” the man spoke again, gesturing to Ren’s seat to his left, “please, come sit next to me. Ren makes room for this stunning creature.” 

Without saying a word Ren got up out of his chair, leaving it pulled out for you. You approached the man, not looking at Ren as he pushed your seat in once you were settled. “There, now we are all settled,” he smiled at you again before bringing his gaze to the rest of the staff. Next to you, Ren took a seat, placing his hands in his lap and slightly leaning over to whisper in your ear, “Where have you been, Angel?” 

You snorted, completely ignoring him and clicking your pen. Poised to write down anything that came out of this old man’s mouth, anything to distract you from Ren. 

“I’m sure you all know by now but just as a reminder, I am Mr. Snoke.” the man announced, feeding off the frightened stares of the group. “And I am a partner of this firm along with Palpatine, and we are here to talk about the abundance of issues we’ve had in the past few weeks.” 

You were slightly confused, you hadn’t heard of this man at all, but whatever he said seemed to affect people. You jotted down some notes on Smoke and then looked back up so it would look like you were giving him your undivided attention. That is until you felt a palm move up your bare thigh. The first instinct you had was to kick it off, slamming your heel into Ren’s right foot. Next to you, you heard him stifle a grunt, his hand tightening on your leg. You drove your heel in more, trying to squish his toes so he would let you go. Ren’s foot shifted to the side, knocking your shoe off your foot. 

“Ugh,” you scoffed, immediately realizing you had done that out loud. Looking to your right you saw Snoke’s eyes trained on you, his smile from before fading. “Is there something you’d like to add in?” 

“No, no I’m sorry. I just had something caught in my throat,” you stammered, shaking your head and trying to recenter yourself. Beside you, Ren was hiding a smile behind his left hand, while his right continued its journey to your inner thigh. 

“As I was saying, there have been distractions. Multiple distractions that are now affecting this firm's effectiveness of representing our core clients.” 

Your eyebrows furrowed, what was he talking about. You waited for him to go on, dropping your left hand under the table to try and pry Ren’s hand away. However, he took that as an opportunity to intertwine your fingers together and strong-arm you under the table. You tried to tear away, flexing your left arm as hard as you could without drawing attention to yourself, but his grip was too strong. Almost breaking your knuckles as he kept you in place. 

“Ren,” Palpatine piped up. His hand immediately released yours under the table while he regained his composure. “Yes?” 

“Were you not paying attention?” He seethed. All eyes now brought to you and Ren, who definitely weren’t paying attention to what Palpatine and Snoke were talking about. You turned your head slightly to look at Ren’s face, his cheeks slightly flushed with embarrassment. 

He cleared his throat, “Of course, I was just thinking about rebuttal.” 

“I’m sure you were,” Snoke purred, his eyes darting back to you. “We were wondering why there hasn’t been any development in Hux’s case.” 

“The prison said you and your assistant were seen there on Thursday, but left abruptly.” 

“Is there a reason as to why you left without getting the bail set for our client?” 

Your head now fully turned to Ren, forehead scrunched up in confusion. Why would the prison notify the firm about your visit, even if Hux was a client that didn’t mean they would be notified about the two of you leaving. Ren looked just as confused as you, his mouth opening to speak before Snoke raised his hand to stop him. 

“Ben,” he spat, “It seems as though things have been slipping through the cracks. You’ve been unbalanced, is there something distracting you from your duties?” 

“Ben?” you whispered under your breath, searching Ren’s face as he listened to the criticism. 

“I’m sure you’re aware a man in your position is expected to have results, especially with the clientele we work with. Now, why was it that you and your assistant were seen, you carrying her, out of your meeting with Hux?” 

Palpatine was now staring at you, his face scrunched in confusion. You felt your cheeks burn from all the stares. Everyone was silent, looking between you and Ren’s faces, he cleared his throat and repositioned himself in his seat, “There was a security threat, I was doing what I could to make sure she wasn’t injured.” 

“And you deemed it appropriate to carry her, like she was your bride, out of a prison facility?” 

Ren chewed on his bottom lip, thinking of something to say in response. 

“There is no need, it is obvious now that something is halting you from being able to do your job,” now Snoke was back to looking at you, “Perhaps it would be better if you had a more capable paralegal. This one couldn’t even come to a meeting on time.” 

Ren shot out of his seat, “No no, it’s fine. It wasn’t her fault,” he rambled. Looking around the room at all the employees inching backward from his sudden movement. He smoothed out his suit jacket before facing Snoke again, “That is not the issue, I can assure you, Snoke.” 

Snoke hummed, turning to Palpatine and speaking just to him, “If this continues to happen, I expect you to inform me at once. That way the problem can be dealt with.” He turned back to the staff, standing and addressing everyone, “I do hope you all take some time to evaluate your effectiveness, we are known to be the best. I wouldn’t want any more personal drama getting in the way of my good name.” He shot you and Ren one last glance, and turned out of the room, Palpatine trailing behind him. 

Once the door shut you let out a loud breath, beginning to stand up and fish your shoe out from under the table, But a hand around your upper arm halted that plan. “Leave it,” Ren hissed. Hand tightening around your bicep and he dragged you out of the conference room. Your other shoe falling off as you tried to keep up with his long legs. Ren threw open his office door, throwing you inside. 

“What the fuck dude,” you whisper screamed at him. 

Ren looked down the hallway, checking both ways before shutting and locking his door. “Why haven’t you been answering your phone?” He turned to you, shaking with anger, “I told you that you’re expected to answer it every time I call you.” 

“You’re not in charge of me.” 

“You bet I fucking am,” Ren took a slow step forward, “Now, where were you this weekend?” 

You crossed your arms, looking away from him as you mumbled back at him, “Why is your wedding ring on?” 

“Excuse me?”   
“You heard me.” 

Ren’s forehead scrunched, grasping your jaw in his hand. Bringing your face as close to his as possible, “That’s none of your concern.” 

You spat back at him, “How was your wife this weekend? Have enough of her pussy?” 

He growled at you, fingers digging harder, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Yes I do you fucking liar,” you clawed at his wrist, “You promised me, and then you went crawling back to her like the weak coward you are.” 

Ren pushed your face away from his, clenching his fists as he studied you, “I did what I did for you.” 

You laughed, “Oh yeah? How does you fucking her help me?” You pushed him aside, “When has anything you’ve done been for me? Was the tattoo for me? Was moving me out of my home for me? Was fucking me and dragging me into your shitty marriage all for me?” 

Silence. 

“Yeah,” you sniffed back your tears, “Nothing you’ve done has been for me. It’s all been a game to you, but now I’m the one who has to face the consequences. I’m the one who has to find a new home, car, a new job all because you couldn’t just be happy with your wife.” 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Why don’t you tell me then?” you sighed, slumping down in your chair. “You never tell me anything, hope am I supposed to trust you if everything you do is a secret?” 

More silence. 

“Nothing?” 

Ren grunted, placing his hands in his pockets. 

“I quit.” 

Ren’s scrunched up in distaste, recoiling as the words slipped out of your mouth. He took a tentative step forward and reached his arm out to touch you. “What are you saying, Angel?” 

You evaded his touch, hand gripping the handle, “You heard what I fucking said.” 

His eyes went wide, rubbing his hands together. Turning around and pacing to his desk, he began to run his hands up and down the leather of the chair before bringing his eyes up to yours. “You can’t do this Angel.” 

“Like hell I can't,” you shouted, whipping open the doorway. You sprinted past the offices, ignoring all the stares from the other employees. You had to get away, you weren't sure where you would go but you had to get out. Nothing here made sense anymore, he didn’t make sense anymore. 

Behind you came heavy footsteps, approaching you faster and faster, a heavy hand came to your shoulder. “You;re being irrational.” 

You snapped your head around, seething through your teeth, “I’m being irrational? Was I the one who fucked someone who wasn’t their wife?” Other employees were now looking at the two of you, as your last statement caught their attention. Kylo looked around, running a hand through his hair before whispering to you, “You can’t leave.” 

The elevator dinged behind you, doors sliding open. You gave him one last look before shaking his hand off. Spinning around you walked to the doorway, heels clicking on the tile filled the air. You looked back at him, standing there staring at you. His eyes wide and filled with tears, his bottom lip twitching as you walked away from him. Just as the doors slid closed you heard a faint whisper. 

“Please.”


	13. Black Seas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like when playing poker, it's important to know when to show your hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIIIIIIIIII wow okay, so some news. I am planning on Case in Need to wrap up by the end of the year. I know sad, however we will still get some smut and happiness (with my trademark angst). 
> 
> I hope you all had a great couple of months and that you're staying safe. If you're interested in more of my writing please don't hesitate to follow me on tumblr: @maybeyourleft to see my other fics! 
> 
> I have a teaser for an upcoming College Kylo AU fic for the new year on there and will be posting here soon! 
> 
> TW/CW: domestic violence (not against us), legal talk (boring), alcohol, crying noises, REVELATIONS, infidelity (not shocking), FLUFF? maybe.

“She should’ve been here by now,” Kylo growled at the Knights, he had booked it to her apartment after she stormed out of the office. The whole drive went by as a blur, he had ignored every red light, every pedestrian. Tailed every black range rover he saw, but none of them were his Angel. 

He walked over to the front windows, pacing as he fumbled to retrieve his cell phone. He pulled up your contact, raising it to his ear as it dialed. Ringing over and over and over. His eyes were frantically watching the street, zeroing in on a black Mercedes that had pulled up behind his own car. 

“What the fuck,” he mumbled under his breath. Stepping out of the driver’s seat was Vicrul, rounding the car to the passenger. Kylo growled as he saw the heels hit the pavement. 

Rey. 

Kylos head whipped around, facing his other knights in the living room. All of them were averting his deadly eye contact. He spun around, his ear still pressed to the phone, now redialing for the second time. Kylo ripped open the entryway doors, watching Vicrul lead Rey up the steps. As Kylo opened his mouth he heard you, speaking through the phone. 

“What is it Ren, I don’t work for you anymore.” 

Rey and Vicrul pushed past him, not bothering him a glance as they stalked into Angel’s kitchen. Kylo shook his head, realizing that you had picked up, “(Y/N) where are you? We have to talk.” 

You chuckled, “I don’t have to do anything you say!” 

“You do,” he growled, “And I know you want to. Now be a good girl and get your ass over to your apartment or else I will find you and drag you here myself.” Kylo quickly hung up his phone and pulled up the voice memo app, hitting record before discreetly slipping it in his suit pocket. 

He slowly walked to the kitchen, spying Rey perched on a barstool. Her hands gripping a mug of tea as she sat poised while she waited. behind her stood Vicrul, his arms crossed and stance defensive against Kylo. 

Kylos eyes darted between the two, sensing tension. Suddenly it clicked, the reason why Rey was always a few steps in front of him. Constantly knowing his weaknesses and exploiting the vulnerability. She had a man on the inside. 

Laughter erupted from his chest, bubbling into a full-blown cackle. Rey’s confident smile slowly falling into a frown, the mug forgotten on the table as she hissed, “What’s so funny you imbecile.” 

Kylo couldn’t stop, clutching his side as he moved across the kitchen. Opening the locked junk drawer, ripping out a packet of papers. He threw them on the island, skidding towards Rey. He turned again, ripping out a glass and bottle of whiskey. Taking two chugs from the bottle before pouring some out. 

He placed his hands on the counter, a sick smile across his face as he stared down at his wife. “Do you know what this is?” 

Vicrul moved forward, hand reaching out to the papers but Kylo pinned his wrist. Crunching it in his grasp, “I don’t think this concerns you.” 

He threw his wrist back, watching as the knight defensively cradled the injured limb. “This is between,” he brought his eyes back to Rey, “ You and me.” 

——-

You groaned after the line went dead. Laying on Finn’s couch in a heap of tears, chocolate, and wine. He graciously let you crash after you let work, briefly telling him that you were having work troubles and needed some time to think. 

Finn didn’t hesitate to help you, you had a sick feeling in your gut he had known all along that you had been sleeping with Ren. His point further proved once you came in his front door, sobbing incoherently about ‘He won’t do it’ and ‘Just using me!’.

“Hey, who was that on the phone,” Finn whispered, leaning over the back of the couch to look at you. Brows scrunched in concern for your wellbeing. You said nothing, just rubbed your eyes in frustration. Ripping off your strip lashes and thoroughly fucking up your lipstick in the process. 

“It was Ren wasn’t it?” 

You whimpered, silently nodding your head. 

Finn sighed, “He wants you to come see him?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Are you gonna go?” 

You let out a small sob, crushing the heels of your palms into your eye sockets. “I don’t know,” you sobbed. “I don’t know anything anymore, I don’t want to be a part of his games. He just does whatever he wants and doesn’t think of me or my feelings,” you choked, beginning to sit up on the couch. 

“Like-,” a heavy breath, “He took everything away from me, after only knowing me for 5 days! 5 fucking days!” 

Finn nodded, rubbing the back of your neck reassuringly. 

“And then he just totes me around like his show pony, not even understanding how uncomfortable I am with the lack of control of my life. And!” you whined, “He almost gets me killed by a fucking serial killer, who apparently knows him personally, and then brands me.” 

“Brands you?” 

You let out a small laugh, “Yeah! Like cattle.” Sliding off the couch you ripped your shirt open, revealing the freshly healed tattoo of his name. Painstakingly tainting your skin with him forever, “And that’s not even the worst part Finn.” 

“What's the worst part (Y/N)?” 

“I think I love him.” 

\-----

Kylo stared across the island, watching Rey skim the paperwork in her bony hands. Eyes reading line by line, just the two of them. He had made the Knights leave them alone, he didn’t want to see Vicrul and he was tired of their presence. He was eager to get on with Rey’s end of the deal, Kylo had big plans for the rest of the evening and he didn’t want her to be involved in any capacity. 

“I don’t understand why you’ve given me this Ren.” 

He cocked an eyebrow, “What do you mean? Don’t you know what that is in your hands?” 

“It’s our prenup, but I don’t see how that’s going to get you out of the hole you’ve dug yourself.” 

“I’d like you to read article 7, page 3,” he spat, “And do read it carefully.” 

She rolled her eyes, flipping the pages like she was bored. From her point of view, she must’ve thought all this to be over. Seeming to have successfully ruined Kylos shot at true happiness, much like she did for his entirety of knowing her. She had ripped him from his home, shoved his family away, leaving him to be bound to her family’s fortune and abuse for the rest of his life. Kylo knew that’s how she felt, what she’s wanted for so many years. To break him down until he was nothing, pain herself as a damsel in distress while he truly was the one drowning. 

In a sea of villains, he used to have no help. 

But not anymore. 

He was ready for the past to die, even kill it if he had to. 

Rey laughed, dropping the pages to the counter. Crossing her arms while she stared at him, “And what about that-.” 

“Read it. Out loud, _Sweetie_.” 

_Let the record show that the untimely disconnection of this union between Mr. Benjamin Solo and Miss Rey Palpatine, is subject to dismissal on account of the following. Death of one or the other, in which the entirety of the estate will go to the living next of kin. Any amount of fraud or embezzlement that moves within the estate and out of the estate will be grounds for immediate separation, in which the entirety of the estate will be decided in due course of the law. And finally, any infidelity within the marriage, after the time of consummation. If there are multiple circumstances of infidelity, the initial unmarried union between one of the parties and an outsider would be the grounds for dismissal of the union. Would be subject to the extent of the estate being given to the non-offending party, and immediately the union would be rendered null and void._

_Any and all additions to this contract will be hereby settled in the court of law if the separation is ever permitted under these explicit circumstances._

Kylo took a deep drink from his glass, reveling in the taste of the whiskey sliding down his throat. Allowing Rey a moment to process the words she had read aloud, it might take her a minute. She was never that bright when it came to legal jargon, which was ironic given her father’s line of work. The article in question was something added last minute to their prenup, a suggestion from his dear old father Han. His warning only being, “Ben, I know that it feels like everything is going well. That it’s all too good to be true, you’re getting married in a couple of days and all. But please remember, when it feels too good to be true. It usually is.” 

“So, this is saying that if one of us cheats the other gets the entirety of the estate?” 

“Precisely.” 

Rey snorted, “Well, you’re a dumbass then. You were the first to cheat on me and get caught, I don’t know what you thought showing me this would save your skin. Even if I would grant you a divorce, you would still be hung high and dry.” 

“Rey,” Kylo growled. 

“I’m not the one who cheated first, so I would advise you to keep your disgusting mouth shut and listen to me. Unless you want me to drag your sorry ass into court, and proceed to show off every piece of fucking evidence of your infidelities to not only a judge but to your father. Who would be extremely interested because I own half the practice.” 

“And?” 

“And, I know you own the other half.” 

Rey’s mouth snapped shut. 

“That’s what I thought,” Kylo chuckled, “Now, if you want to go down in this fight we can do it your way and have you lose the practice to me, your ex-husband. Or, you could sign those fucking papers and file for divorce without any word to your father or Snoke.” 

“How do I know you’re not bluffing?” she growled, “Do you even have proof that I was unfaithful because I have plenty on you.” 

“Oh, I don’t have any proof.” 

Silence. 

“But my father does.” 

\-----

Your car pulled up behind some random Mercedes, something you hadn’t seen in the neighborhood before. Clutching your purse close in case you had to fight off Ren with it, you were just here to talk. Get everything all out on the table and maybe get some closure for the benefit of your sanity. 

The front door was slightly ajar, a few pairs of shoes in the entryway. Mostly the Knights pairs of boots and a couple of Ren’s work shoes that he didn’t bother to take upstairs. You toed off your heels, tired of wearing them all fucking day. Shucking off your cost as you called out to the empty hall, “I’m here!” 

A voice screamed from the kitchen, “Let go of me!” 

“Then sign the fucking paper you little bitch!” 

“No! You don’t get to get away that easy you slimy bastard!” 

“Oh, I’m the bastard? Huh? Was I a bastard when I poured out everything I had for you? And then to have you just fuck my father-.”

A sharp smack. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about Ren.” 

A deep inhale. 

“On the day of our wedding, after we had finished with the ceremony. You told me you ‘had to go somewhere alone’ and I thought you were just needing to piss or something. But no, you were gone for an hour.” 

Silence. 

“An hour Rey, and when you walked back I knew you did something. And then I saw my dad’s car leaving the driveway behind the venue, when my parents weren’t even invited to the ceremony, I knew you did it.” 

You took slow steps down the hallway, peering around the corner to look at the scene. Rey was holding Kylo by the collar, her hand reared back like she was about to strike him again. Kylo’s cheek red and slightly bruised from her earlier assault. You could see his cheeks stained with twin tears as he tried to compose himself, but he was failing. Rey yanked him closer, spitting in his face, “He was better than you ever were, you ungrateful, disgusting, unwanted little-” 

“Let go of him!” 

Both heads snapped to you, Kylos eyes bloodshot and teary. His bottom lip was split open, little drops of blood now visible on his tie. Rey glared at you, her chest heaving with deep breaths as she tried to contain her rage. She stalked over to you, her fists clenching and unclenching, “Get out of here you whore, you don’t get to just have him. He is mine, I was here first and I’m not about to lose him just because he thinks he has me cornered.” 

Your eyes darted between Kylo and Rey, trying to think of the best course of action. All you wanted to do was rush over to him and cradle his bruising face and let him know it was going to be okay. But you also were still furious about the sex tape of him and Rey, and you wanted answers from him. But after the display of Rey’s abuse, your body decided before your brain could. 

Your fist slammed into Rey’s nose, knocking her back into the kitchen counter. She was stunned, immediately hissing at the pain and trying to stop her nose bleed. You didn’t stop there, grabbing the collar of her dress like she did to Kylo and hoisting her around. Your hand gripped into her hair as you began to slam her into a nearby wall. All you could hear was the sound of her bones breaking, her wails for you to stop, for mercy, but all you could think was ‘did Kylo ever get mercy?’

“Please stop! I’ll give you anything, money, power, fame, just stop,” she screamed as you threw her to the floor. 

“Why would I want anything from you, after you so willingly manipulate and abuse your own husband! With no sign of remorse!” 

Rey sobbed, choking on her own blood, “You don’t understand-he-he he beats me too, it’s what he does. He’s a monster, I was only trying to protect myself!” 

Kylo stomped over, swiftly picking you up from the floor and spitting down at Rey, “I’ve never once laid a hand on you and you fucking know it.” He spun you in his arms, allowing you to be chest to chest. Both of you were staring at each other with wide eyes, he opened his mouth to speak but you stopped him. Pulling his face into yours, lips clashing ferociously like they had been apart for centuries. Kylo trembled as your mouths worked in tandem, his large arms wrapping around you before bringing a hand up to your cheek. 

“You came Angel.” 

You smiled, placing another kiss to his sore lips, “You told me if I didn’t you’d drag my ass here, so I thought I’d save you the trouble of tracking me down.” 

Kylo laughed, face breaking out into a smile. A real smile, his cheeks scrunching and eyes crinkling as he flashed his crooked teeth. He was happy, genuinely happy to see you, touch you, be with you. 

You felt like the most important thing in his life. 

And you were. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY KYLO AND ANGEL


	14. Doesn't Mean I'm Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WE ARE ON THE HOME STRETCH. 
> 
> TWO CHAPTERS LEFT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW/CW: NSFW, meanie, WEDDING TALK?, you shall see.

You had sat on the island, watching a bloodied Rey shakily sign multiple papers. Her script scrawling across them in a frantic mess, she wouldn't raise her face to you or Kylo. Who stood behind her, looming like a hawk, pointing where she needed to sign and date. You watched in awe, this sad, broken man, finally getting away from his abuser. One torturous step at a time, all because of his love for you, even though you guys hadn’t talked about what your relationship was yet. It didn’t matter, you felt secure.

Vicrul escorted Rey out, holding her a little too close for comfort while the other Knights filed out. Leaving you and Ren alone since the fiasco this morning. He was seated at the island, slumped over the paperwork, his right hand shaking as he held the pen poised over the paper.

He took a deep breath before he signed, “I never thought… that this would be how it ended.”. Ren choked back tears, threatening to stain his cheeks as he began signing each page faster than the last. Throwing the pen to the countertop as he collapsed in a sobbing heap, the heels of his hands digging into his eye sockets as he mourned. The loss of so many things, his first love, his only family, the notion that he was supposed to be stuck there just because he felt like there was nowhere else to go, because he believed no one wanted him.

You patted his shoulder, rubbing soft circles into the skin as you stood next to him. “It’s okay, you’re going to be okay Kylo. You're not alone anymore.”

“I know Angel,” he took a deep breath before looking at you, “And now it’s just you and me.”

Ren carried you upstairs, hugging you close to his chest as he burst into the bedroom. Laying you down as gently as he could, softly lowering himself down on top of you. Embracing each other, like it was the first time all over again. You wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, letting Ren nuzzle his nose into the crook of your neck. Deeply inhaling and exhaling onto your skin, soft lips brushing with each breath. He hummed into you when you began to scratch his back, tugging his shirt from where it was tucked in. You needed to feel his skin against yours, to know that it was real and that he was yours after all the pain.

You pushed him up on his hands and knees above you. Unbuttoning his dress shirt from his collar down to the hem, letting it open up around you. Ren rested his forehead against yours, his tears sliding down his cheeks to splatter on your face. He took deep breaths when you ran your hands under his undershirt, grazing his scarred skin with your nails. With one swift kiss, he sat back on his heels, tugging his shirt off, becoming bare. Fiddling with his belt, he silently begged you to dress down as he was.

Both of you clawing at the naked flesh as it was revealed, lips crashing harder and harder as time went on. Breathless when he pulled off, keeping your foreheads together as you watched Ren’s hands explore the plains of your waist. Gliding down to your hips, thumbs digging into the dips, nails leaving crest shapes before dragging you flush with his naked hips. You ground your center into him, a moan slipping out of your parted lips. Ren's eyes quickly darting to your own before gazing back to watch you slide over his cock. Letting out his sighs of relief each time his head could catch on your entrance, slick coating the underside with each pass.

You propped yourself up with your left arm, grasping his cock as he pulled his hips back enough for you. Allowing you to guide it inside you, both of your groaning when he slid inside you. Burying the length in your cunt, warm and safe, your walls clenching around him as he stayed still. Ren canted his hips softly, only pulling out a few inches before pumping back inside. Keeping you completely full of his cock, Ren pushed you flush with the mattress. Repositioning your hips so they were slightly elevated on a pillow. He planted his hands on either side of your head, so he can thrust into you harder. Pulling soft cries from your throat, your mouth popping open in a soft ‘o’ while he watched you struggle to take him.

Ren dropped on top of you, resting on his left forearm, gazing at you with his big brown eyes. Not stopping his thrusts inside you, he brought his right hand to your neck, lightly tracing each vein and pulse of your skin. Trailing up to your jawline, Ren looked at you for a brief moment before wrapping his hand around your jaw, popping your mouth open.

He gathered spit in his mouth, bringing his lips to hover just above yours before he spat. “Swallow it all, Angel,” softly pressing his mouth into yours. You greedily sucked it down, moaning into his mouth. Your eyes fluttered shut as he fucked you, unable to stop the soft mewls and gasps that he drank from you.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, yanking him flush with your naked chest. Gasping as you felt his hot, sweaty flesh on your own. Ren buried his face into your neck, mouthing at your pulse as he thrust inside, it was soft and slow. Keeping the entirety of his length inside you, you could feel how badly he wanted to stay inside you. Where it was safe for him, an arm curled under your shoulders, hiking you into his chest. Ren planted his left hand into the bed next to you, breaking his lock against your neck. He looked at you with wild eyes, filled with lust and love for you. His forehead was slicked with sweat, dark curls fanning across it as he moved. You opened your mouth in awe as you watched, his breathing uneven and heavy as he snapped his hips into yours. Deliciously dragging his thick cock against your pulsing walls, you groaned when he knocked your front wall with his tip. “Kylo!” you cried out, yanking him roughly into you.

Ren nodded with you, locking his jaw as he looked up at the headboard, trying to get off the edge of his release, “You feel so good, Angel, I’m going to cum.”

“Fuck me, fuck me hard, please! I want to cum with you,” you pleaded, pressing your palms onto his shoulders and pressing him up to balance on his palms. Ren looked over you for a few moments, softly canting his hips into yours before whispering in your ear, “Hold onto me.”

You quickly locked your ankles over his hips, looping around his neck. Ren pulled you off the bed and positioned the two of you in front of the floor-length mirror. Standing sideways so you could watch his strong body hold you up, threading his arms under your knees and ragdolling you on his cock. Ren winked at you in the mirror before turning his head back to yours, crashing you in a sloppy kiss. You squealed as he fucked you, bouncing you up and down his cock hard and fast. Hiccuping on your tears as he hit your cervix hard, surely bruising your insides. Any pretense to be gentle with you was thrown out the window as Ren bounced you. Your neck cracking back and forth from the force of his hips, you lulled your head to the left, meeting your blissed-out face in the reflection.

Your hair was in knots, face streaked with tears and spit, lips swollen and bitten from his own. Ren moaned into your neck, you watched in awe as he nipped at the skin behind your ear, trailing his long tongue behind and over the lobe. Growling as his cock pounded, “Are you going to be a good girl and cum for me?”

“Ah,” you moaned, lazily bringing a hand down between your bodies to pinch your clit. Eyes rolling back when he knocked inside you just right as you circled yourself. You accidentally flexed your hips at the contact, pulling a deep groan from Ren, “Jesus-don’t do that again.”

You clenched at his voice, seething as he sunk his teeth into your neck. “I’m cumming Kylo, I’m fucking cumming….”

“Fuck.”

You felt a hot gush of cum between the two of you, followed by Rens hips stalling with you sunk completely on his cock. Muscles tensing and untensing as he held you, you placed your cheek on his right shoulder, watching your chest rise and fall in the reflection. Eyeing Ren’s legs wobbling as he cradled you, “Ahm, (Y/N),” he took in sharp breaths as he calmed down, “I love you. So much.”

“I love you, Kylo Ren.”

\-----

It had been a week since Rey filed for divorce.

Ren had been anxious to go back to work afterward, he didn’t trust leaving you alone with the knights because of Vicruls betrayal. You offered to stay with Finn, but he refused that too, instead begging you to come back to work with him. But, you couldn’t, you were burnt out on legal work, it had brought you nothing but misery in the past few months and you didn’t need Ren worrying about you in front of his ex-wife’s father. You weren’t sure how they would take Rens’ divorce, and you didn’t want to be there if it got ugly.

So you sat at home for the first couple of days, reading books and painting away the hours alone. Finn and Rose came over to help you clean out the house of anything that reminded you of Ren’s marriage, especially throwing out his wedding ring, Rey had brought a spare back during their lovely meeting. Shopping for colorful blankets, pillows, plates, paintings, anything to bring your personality to the sterile space Ren had cultivated.

You even found your old tie-dye blanket in one of the guest bedroom closets, fighting back tears when you discovered it in a black box.

You happily draped it over yours and Ren’s bed, smiling at the dash of color it brought into the space.

Finn and Rose went shopping with you, getting groceries for the house. It felt so freeing to be out and about without the Knights or Ren breathing down your neck. Not that you didn’t love him being protective, but you expressed to him that if the relationship was going to work. You would need space, and he would need to trust you. Which he had taken great strides at, except for tracking your location with his phone, which you quickly shut down when you found the app mysteriously show up on your phone in a junk folder.

Glancing down at your screen, you saw only two messages from Ren.

> _I’ll be home late tonight, I have some errands to run after work.  
>  Would you be alright picking up my suit from the cleaners?_

“Okay weirdo,” you whispered, typing back your yeses and I love you’s before shoving it back into your purse. Rose snapped for your attention, holding up a large living room pouf. It was white fur, the goddiest thing you had seen with a gold base. Ren would surely hate it, or think it was an animal… “Get it,” you mouthed to Rose.

The Range Rover was stuffed with your spoils and Ren’s black suit that you graciously picked up. Finn and Rose helped you unpack and rearrange, Finn paused when he finished. Staring at you with his kind eyes, “So… how are you doing?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Finn gestured to the newly decorated house, “This is all new, for you. Seems like some things have changed since Ren filed. Has he said anything about it?”

You shook your head, opening the fridge and grabbing a bottled smoothie, “No, all he’s said is that he filed it with an associate so Palpatine won’t catch wind of it.”

Both Finn and Rose nodded, scratching their necks with anxiety, “Why,” Rose pipped up, “Why would it be a bad thing for him to know? Isn’t it going to be obvious when Ren gets married to you?”

You choked on the drink, smacking your chest to stop from coughing it back up, “What?”

“Well yeah,” Finn agreed, “Isn’t Ren marrying you? That’s like the entire reason he left her, because you asked him to.”

“Yeah but.”

“And you guys live together, he pays for all your things. Don’t think I didn’t notice the black card you used today,” Rose winked at you, “Not in a million years could any of us afford a card like that.”

“Have you guys talked about marriage yet?”

“No,” you chewed your lip, it probably would be a sensitive subject to bring up right now but… it wouldn’t hurt to know about your future together now that Rey wasn’t in the way.

“I guess I’ll ask him when he gets home.”

\-----

Ren was sitting across from his ex-wife, a sleek conference table between them. His lawyer was a close friend from school, unfortunately he couldn’t legally represent himself. Rey had chosen her lawyer, Snoke.

Despite Ren begging her to not involve her family, she didn’t listen and used her uncle as her representative.

This is why now Ren was massaging his temples from the migraine he was sporting because Rey was sobbing to the mediator about Ren’s girlfriend attacking her. Even though the Knights had added their testimonies on the moments before where Rey assaulted him, all Snoke wanted to focus on was the legitimacy of the document. Saying that Rey signed it under the pretenses that she would be killed if she didn’t. Completely stalling the divorce proceedings before it even started.

“That is completely untrue, and you know it, Snoke. Now can we just move on to dividing the estates? She can have half from our joint accounts and the entire house. I don’t care, anything that had both our names on it is hers, just fucking sign the papers Rey I want to go home.”

Rey blew her nose into the tissue she was clutching dramatically, “But those are our things! Why wouldn’t you want things from our lives together?” She wept into her arms, covering the glass table in her crocodile tears while Ren checked his watch. It was almost seven, even though he told Angel he would be late, he didn’t want to be here all night.

“Miss Palpatine,” Ren’s lawyer mumbled, “The papers have been signed, under your hand, and they were filed jointly by the both of you without prompting of force or violence. The courts will accept the case no matter what.”

Rey broke down into more tears, cuddling into her uncle.

Ren rolled his eyes, “Either we use the mediator or we go to court without any deal, which means I can bring forth any and all evidence I have of your manipulative and violent behavior since the beginning of our marriage.”

“You monster,” she spat.

“Yes,” Ren chuckled, “I’m the monster, you can sit on that dying horse for the entire proceeding but if you do you’ll lose everything. And I sincerely don’t want to leave you in the poor house, I just want to move on with my life.”

“You seem awfully, eager, Ren,” Snoke purred, “So willing to part with your wife of so many years, without batting an eye. What is it you want from her then?”

“Isn’t it fucking obvious? I want to get the hell away from her, from all of you!”

Snoke shook his head, “You don’t honestly think I’d believe you’d give in to her every demand just for her to agree to the divorce. What is it you want, that you’re fishing from her so she will fold in your hands?”

Ren squinted at Snoke, there wasn’t anything he wanted other than to get the fuck away from here and go home to you. “Fine,” he spat, “This is the last offer I’ll make before we head to court.” He turned his attention to Rey, cringing when he saw her puffy red eyes and swollen lips. Her sweet face contorted in a sorrowful sneer, it would’ve melted Ren’s heart, if it were years ago and he didn’t despise the woman.

But that was then, and this is now.

“You can have everything. Everything we owned, the entire account, house, boat, cars, a quarter of my retirement, my seats at the opera. Anything.”

“And?” Rey questioned.

“And,” he leaned on his forearms, “You give me the First Order.”

\-----

You had passed out on the couch, watching bad TV and drinking wine. Curled into your favorite blanket, drool painting the pillows you had spent hours picking out today. Snoring away as Ren came home, quickly taking his coat and shoes off as he approached you, brushing your hair back from your forehead. He clicked the TV off and removed the wine bottle from your hip and scooped you into his arms. Shushing you as you stirred awake, his soft lips skimming your forehead.

He placed you softly on your bed, you barely heard him gagging at the tie-dye you had decorated with. “Shouldn’t have given you the card,” he mumbled, you blinked your eyes open to watch him. The bedside lamp turned onto its lowest setting, lighting up his face in its warm glow. Ren was so handsome, you hummed as he shed his suit, setting it into his laundry basin. He cocked his head towards you, a smile playing on his lips.

“Hi, messy girl.”

“Mm,” you yawned, “Why is that my name?”

Ren popped into the bathroom, you could hear him undressing fully before brushing his teeth. Humming when he came back and slid into the bed. You slid your feet into his bare thighs, earning a hiss in protest.

“Why don’t you wear socks, Angel?”

“You’re warm enough for me,” you whispered, cuddling into his form. He placed his chin on your head, both of you letting out a collective sigh. “Why are you back so late?”

“Was busy.”

You nuzzled into his chest, taking a deep breath. Half to bask in his smell, and half to check if there was the faint smell of another woman. “Can you tell me?”

“It was nothing,” Ren kissed your head, “You don’t need to worry.”

“Is that what you used to tell Rey?”

Ren froze.

“What?”

You rolled out of his arms, leaving a foot between the both of you. Trailing a finger on the sheets between you both as your wine riddled brain thought through every scenario of him leaving you.

Ren furrowed his brow, reaching out to grasp your fingers. You softly pulled away, popping your lips a few times, “Jus-isn’t that what you told her when you were out cheating?”

“(Y/N),” he mumbled, “I’m not doing that to you, I would never.”

You rolled your eyes, “Whatever Ren, you’re just saying that to cover up something.” You swung your feet off the bed, your ankles giving out momentarily. “Whoopsie,” you giggled, standing up on wobbly legs as you spoke over your shoulder, “You won’t tell me where you were, how do I know you weren’t sleeping with your new paralegal?”

“Come back to bed Angel.”

“No-no-nope,” you popped your lips to emphasize the ‘p’ sound. “Don’t wanna.”

Ren groaned, “Angel, I’ve had a long day, please come back to bed.”

“Oh? A long day?” you mocked him, “Long day fuckin’ someone else?”

“Angel.”

“What’s her name?”

Ren growled, rubbing his face while he whined.

“Did you buy her a house too, a car? Make a new life for the both of you?”

“Jesus,” Ren shot out of bed, “No, Get in the fucking bed!”

His face was beet red, the thick vein in his neck bulging as he stared at you. Teeth bared as he pointed to your side of the bed, “Don’t make me fucking say it again.”

“Tell me where you were!”

“It’s none of your goddamn business!”

“Stop yelling at me!”

Ren clasped a hand over his mouth, letting out a muffled scream before lunging at you. “No!” you squealed, thrashing back and forth as he coiled his arms around you. Hissing in your ear, “I’m telling you, I’m not sleeping with someone else. Now get in BED!”

“You’re such a liar!”

“FINE!”

He dropped you, your body collapsing to his feet. You let out a stifled sob, “I knew it! You asshole!”

“You wanna know what I was doing?” Ren disappeared downstairs, yelling for you to stay put. His angry steps coming back up moments later, bursting through the doorway. “I was doing two fucking things,” he grabbed an envelope from his jacket pocket, “I had my divorced finalized, as you can see from this fucking signed and dated paper!”

Ren throws it down into your lap, your shaky hands lifting it in the dim light. It sure was divorce papers, both he and Rey had signed it along with lawyers.

“And it took me so fucking long to get home because I was buying this!”

He shoved a box into your hand, angrily staring at you. Nodding his head sarcastically, “Go on, open it. Since you can’t fucking trust me, ruin it.”

You shakily opened the box, the black velvet caressing your palms. You let out a choked sob, inside nestled between an ivory cushion was a ring.

An engagement ring.

“Do you feel better now? Now that you’ve gotten what you wanted?” he glared at you, “Hm? Feel good ruining our engagement?”

“Kylo,” you sniffed. It was beautiful, glittering in your face. The band was lined with diamonds, all leading up to the center stone. You dropped it into your lap, openly sobbing into the back of your free hand. “I didn’t-I’m sorry.”

“I was going to take you somewhere really nice,” Ren rambled, throwing his arms in the air to emphasize his point, “Up to Vermont, rent a cabin, just the two of us. We would fucking ski and hike to hot springs and all that fucking outdoor shit I know you like!”

“But no,” Kylo pointed accusingly, “You just had to know!”

You were hiccuping on your sobs, unable to look him in the eyes as he berated you like a petulant child.

“Now get in the fucking bed!”

You stayed still.

**_“NOW (Y/N)!”_ **

———

You blinked awake.

Gazing over your pillow to stare at the space next to you, you knew he was gone. He had already kissed you on the forehead, “I’ll be home for lunch,” and went on his way. Leaving you to stare directly at your ring.

Still nestled in its box, open to the room.

Ren hadn’t taken it once you opened it.

Almost two weeks had gone by, with you waking up and staring at it.

The blinding light shaming you every waking moment. You knew he did it on purpose, to force you to look at the item that made you distrust him. When he had been nothing but loyal to you, but how could you? He had cheated on his wife with plenty of people... What made you different?

Even if he told you every day how different you were.

How much he loved you, cherished you, needed you.

Yet, there it sat.

Once you spilled it on, immediately breaking down into tears when it was on your finger. Ren really picked out a winner, it was gorgeous, complimenting you so well and you ruined it. He knew you toyed with it during the day, briefly staring at it when he came home. But he moved past it, either to shower, or pin you to the mattress, your face staring at it while he professed his love in your ear.

Sweating on top of you, his hair fanned across your face and neck. Lips mouthing at your pulse each time he rammed into your sore hips, but you barely reacted. Staring over at it, you wanted it.

“Kylo,” you whispered as he came inside you.

Ren collapsed on your body, kissing you up and down before turning his head to look at the bedside table. His cheek flush with yours, “What is it, Angel?”

You took a deep breath, your hands dropping from his sweaty shoulders. Wiggling underneath his heavy form, you could feel the cum dripping out of you and onto the bedsheets.

“When...When are we getting married?”

Ren sighed, “We aren’t.”

He pushed off you, reaching for the ring. Snapping the box shut and swiftly shoving it into the drawer. Ren got off the bed after that, waltzing into the bathroom. You stared at his back, wide and scarred, covered in a sheen of sweat.

You hated him.

Waving that thing in your face, every fucking day.

The shower turned on, “Come on, the water will get cold!”

You stomped into the bathroom, throwing open the shower door. Startling Ren, “What’s wrong Angel?”

“Why don’t you want to marry me anymore?”

Ren wiped the water off his face, glaring at you with a confused look. “What are you talking-”

You groaned, running into the shower and pinning him to the cold tile wall. His eyes wide and wild, hands trembling in the air as you growled, “You’ve left the ring out for so long and haven’t said anything! Do you not love me anymore?”

“Angel, I literally just shouted I love you moments ago.”

“Well, you were inside me then, I think pussy clouds your judgment!”

Ren grabbed your wrists, squeezing them between his palms, “I wouldn’t lie about that. But we aren’t getting married.”

“Why!?”

“Because you ruined the engagement! Don’t you remember? Or were you too drunk?”

“Kylo…”

“What?” he spat at you, spinning so the both of you had swapped places. His chest flush with yours under the warm water, goosebumps covering your skin form the contrast against the tiles. He was breathing heavily in your face, “What do you want me to say? That I would love to have a chance to propose to you, but you fucking ruined it for me? I wanted you to know how much you mean to me, over anyone else in my life.”

“What do you want Kylo?”

“What do I want? I want you!”

“I want a house and a dog, a cat, even fucking kids!”

You laughed, “You don’t even like kids.”

“No, I fucking don’t! But I’d have them if you wanted them. I would do anything for you, whatever you want I’ll do it.”

“I want to get married.”

“Fine!”

Ren lifted you over his shoulder, stomping out of the bathroom. Your sopping wet bodies dripping onto the floor and then the carpet when he threw you to the bed. Ripping your legs apart, he fisted his cock. Angling the head to your entrance, you opened your mouth to push him off but were silenced when he shoved inside you. Bodies sliding against one another, immediately slamming you like his life depended on it.

You wrapped your legs around his hips, yanking his face to your own, “Are you trying to distract me?”

Ren’s right hand flew to the drawer, fucking you up the bed as he ripped the ring from its box. He glared down at you, “You’re going to shut your whore mouth, and put on this fucking ring. And be my pretty little wife.”

“Uh-huh,” you shakily lifted your left hand, watching as he tried to slip it on while still fucking you. Dropping it on your chest, both of you breaking out in laughter, Ren sat back on his heels. Cock slipping out of your for a brief moment as he jammed it on your finger, “Now stop complaining.”

Ren flipped you over, thrusting into you from behind. You cried out, arching your back to meet his hips. “I’ll be your wife,” you shouted, “I’ll be your little wife!”

“Yes you will,” Ren seethed, digging into your hips as he pounded. “We’re going to get married, have a big fucking wedding, you’ll be the prettiest bride.”

“All for you!”

“Yes-yes-yes!”

Ren fell over you, locking his right hand to your clit and he slid his left palm atop yours. His middle finger and ring finger pinching the diamond. He moaned into the back of your neck, mouthing at the skin like he did before. You twisted your face to the left, meeting his lips with your cheek. Ren circled your clit over and over, both of you yelling as your collective orgasm hit you. Cock twitching inside you, hot cum falling out of you between your knees.

Ren pulled away from you, “So,” he said breathless, “You’ll-you’ll do it?”

You nodded your head, collapsing to the bed underneath him, “Yes, I’ll marry you, I’ll be your wife.”

Ren lowered himself on top of you, lying slightly to the right so you could breathe.

“Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am SAD, last two chapters will be posted this week.


	15. Vindicta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AN: WOW, I cannot tell you how much I've enjoyed writing this story. It took me on a fucking journey of self-discovery in myself as a writer, and as someone who loves fanfiction. Kylo Ren is one of my favorite fictional characters, and I cannot express how much comfort he gives me on a daily basis. I truly hope you guys like how I've ended this story, even though I already know you won't. But it's my story, and I think the end could be predicted from a mile away if you are used to my writing. 
> 
> There will be an epilogue posted directly after this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS IT. 
> 
> last chapter guys, the last thing I have for you is an epilogue
> 
> TW/CW: NSFW, fluffy shit, Ren and You going on vacation, Emily googling places in Europe for the honeymoon, tears, make sure you have a tissue box. There are song lyrics in this, if you don't listen to the song attached! 
> 
> Here is the link to the song we walked down the aisle to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZkih54evUs  
> Here is the link to the first dance song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6MjX1Am188  
> Here is the link to the dress: https://www.zuhairmurad.com/en/bridal-spring21-21  
> Here is the link to your ring: https://www.markbroumand.com/8.65ct-oval-cut-diamond-engagement-ring-5636-1d152927637/  
> Here is the link to Ren's ring: https://www.markbroumand.com/handcrafted-satin-finish-mens-wedding-band-in-platinum-8.0mm-wb1205/

“You look beautiful (Y/N).”

Rose nodded next to you, fussing with your veil as the seamstress was pinning the final touches on your gown. You were sparkling from head to toe, your skin glistening in diamonds. There wasn’t an inch of you that wasn’t claimed by its dazzling display, you looked like royalty. And that’s how you felt, Kylo made you feel like the most important person in the world, a gift from God himself.

His Angel.

And he never wanted you to forget it, after all the lying and sneaking around. Fighting, tears, blood, sweat, and betrayal, you were finally free to be together. After the proposal, Kylo had hired the best wedding planners in New York to assist you in your vision. Nothing was too expensive for you, he didn’t care where he got to marry you, as long as he did.

The two of you had settled on a cathedral in old Manhattan, its decorative stained glass and beautiful architecture making it the perfect place for the two of you to become one. Months had gone by for preparations, Kylo had made sure that there were no chances of mistakes when the moment arrived.

Now you stood in the bridal suite, Rose standing next to you with a bouquet in her hands. Smiling at you as you fussed with your jewelry, overthinking everything that you chose as you muttered to yourself, “What if I forget my vows, or if I start crying, or what happens if he’s not at the altar?”

“Hush babe,” Rose chided you, “Everything is going to be okay, Ushar texted me earlier saying that Ren has been fine. All the guys have been drinking and playing darts since this morning.”

You rolled your eyes, grabbing a nearby champagne flute and downing the contents, “Does he have his suit? Or did he forget his shoes at the house? Oh my god, what if he lost the ring-.”

“Sweetie,” your sister groaned before grabbing your cheeks in both hands, “You’re driving us crazy, nothing is wrong. Ren will be there waiting for you.”

“Okay.”

The chapel was filled with friends and family, Kylo’s mother being in the front row next to your own parents. In the past 8 months, you were able to convince him to reach out to his parents. Even getting to see his father after so many years of animosity towards the man, unfortunately, Han had passed away two months ago after succumbing to liver cancer. You, Kylo, and Leia were there with him when he passed on in the hospital, Han telling stories about ‘Ben’ as a child and making everyone laugh until his final breath.

After his passing, Kylo had moved his mother to the city. Buying her a home a few minutes from your own, just to be sure she was doing okay. Along with round the clock care and security for her in the event of her falling ill when the two of you weren’t around. He had even gotten her a dog that was like the old family dog they used to have, which Leia renamed as Chewie 2.0.

Leia sat at the end of her row, Chewie in her lap as she looked at you at the end of the aisle. Everyone rose from their seats and faced you, your arms hooked with Finns as you took your first steps towards Kylo.

The [music softly ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZkih54evUs)played as you walked, smiling, and giving small waves to the eyes that watched you. Unable to look straight ahead at him, you were sure you would burst into tears at the first sight. Reaching the altar faster than you anticipated, you stared at Kylos shoes, walking up to Finn and shaking his hand before slipping his arm with yours. You raised your face finally to look at him, breath catching in your throat as you saw his own eyes brimming with tears. He led the two of you up the short stairs towards the officiant.

Hand in hand the two of you caught your breath, Kylo’s eyes darted across your face as he mouthed the words ‘you look beautiful.’. The piano faded as everyone took their seats, turning your head to crowds and giving Leia a soft smile.

“You may be seated.”

“We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of these two people, into one body of true love. To unite their mind, body, and soul to one another as they do in life, so they will in death. Marriage is a union that is not for the lighthearted, it is full of grueling and unforgiving amounts of patience and strength. One does not enter it foolishly and expect to reap the benefits, we all can see what happens to those who do not take the oath lightly. But with great reverence and security, I can be here today to help these two souls, express their love in the most binding of ways.”

You squeezed Kylo’s hand as the officiant began to read from the book, weaving a tale of your trials and virtues that had led you to this day. All you could think of was Kylo, seeing how he was chewing nervously on his lip and cheek. Flexing his hands as they enveloped your own, rubbing tiny circles over your ring finger to calm himself. You barely noticed that the man was now speaking at you to say your vows.

“Kylo,” you cleared your throat, producing the ring from Rosie’s hand and holding his left hand in your own. “I don’t think there are enough words to express how grateful I am for you. Never in my life did I think I would be getting married, especially to a man who has been devoted to me since the beginning. I know that we had a rough start, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Since I’ve met you, I can’t manage a moment without you, no matter how stubborn and controlling you can be. But I love you, for everything that you are and will ever be.”

You took a deep breath and slid the ring on his finger, a stark difference from the one he used to have. It was a [solid silver band,](https://www.markbroumand.com/handcrafted-satin-finish-mens-wedding-band-in-platinum-8.0mm-wb1205/) with the words ‘Always yours’ engraved on the inside. You smiled once you saw it on him, steadying your breathing as you continued, “I promise that while I am with and without you, I will never stray. Never quit, and never stop, being wholly yours. Not in life or death.”

Kylo choked on his tears, pulling a hand away from your own to dab at his eyes before producing [your ring](https://www.markbroumand.com/8.65ct-oval-cut-diamond-engagement-ring-5636-1d152927637/) from his pocket. He took a deep breath before he spoke, voice just above a fleeting whisper.

“I want you to know that from the first moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were the one. You were and have always been special to me, more than anyone else in my life. Thank you, for treating me like,” Ren took another breath, “Like I’m a person and not something to own. I vow that for the rest of my life, and beyond that, I’ll be right by your side. I will say your name forever, love you forever, and plead my eternal life to your happiness.”

Both of you stood there in silence, rubbing the bands on the other finger. Taking in the moment before you were to become one. You wanted this memory to live forever, there wouldn’t be a day after that you wouldn’t look back on this. How happy Ren looked, how in love he was with you and you with him.

Nothing else in the world mattered.

\-----

You only had an hour between the ceremony and the reception, and during that time Ren took it upon himself to fuck you on any surface he could in the bridal suite.

Connected by your lips as you threw the door open, hands flying to Ren’s black suit jacket. Tugging it off his broad shoulders as he fumbled with the delicate buttons on the back of your dress. Cursing as he ripped one off the fabric, you laughed into his mouth, “It’s fine, I have a second dress for the reception.”

“That would’ve been nice to know a few minutes ago,” he mumbled, mouth attaching to your neck as he gripped the seam at the back of your dress and ripped straight through it. The delicate beading falling to the ground in clusters of diamond brilliance. You whined as he tore the back across your torso, ripping your arms from the delicate seams attaching the sleeves to the bodice. Both of you wadding backward to one of the lounge couches, both of you detaching for a brief moment. Ren loomed above you, his hair a mussed-up mess, sticking to his forehead and some sticking out from behind his ears. His usual stone face was a surprising smile as his hands fumbled with his leather belt.

He nodded to your heaving chest, “Come on Mrs. Ren, show me those beautiful tits.”

“Aren’t you a charmer,” you laughed, ripping yourself out of the shredded remains of your dress. Eager for him to lavish your body with his hot mouth, nipples pebbling as they were exposed to the air. But they weren’t alone, once Ren’s pants fell to the ground he followed them to his knees. Latching his lips around your right peak, while bringing his hand to fiddle with the other one.

Tugging and twisting them between his thumb and forefinger, pulling deep whines from your throat as you kicked off your heels and subtly slid your dress over your hips. Pressing your breast further in his grasp, a firm bite to your right one caused you to squeal. “Kylo!”

“You need to be quiet,” he popped off to your other breast, repeating the pattern with a leaving bite mark. “Someone could hear what a slut you are for me.”

You grabbed his hair, yanking his head back so he could look up at you, “I don’t think I’m the only slut here,” you brought your foot to his boxers, pressing on his rigid cock. Ren grunted into you, his eyes wide as you rubbed the length with the arch of your foot, “I think I want to suck your cock.”

“I think that sounds like a fantastic idea,” he replied breathlessly. Scrambling off his knees to stand before you, you slunk to your knees ripping the waistband down to pool at the floor. His cock was red, precum dripping against your open mouth. Rubbing the tip around your lips before popping it inside your mouth. Ren drug his fingers through your hair, tugging out any bobby pins he found and throwing them to the floor. Humming as you deep throated him until he nudged the back of your throat.

Pressing your nose into his pelvis a few times so you could choke on him, “Such a good girl,” he mumbled. Thrusting shallowly in your mouth, you ran your hands up his bare thighs. Digging your manicure into his hard muscles as they flexed with each thrust. You looked up at him, eyes full of tears, pleading for more of him. His head was tipped back in pleasure, Adam’s apple bobbing as he took in sharp breaths. Ren’s chest was flushed pink from the exertion, shining in the soft light from the drawn curtains.

Ren pulled you off his length, laying the length across your face. Almost measuring his size against you, he pressed forward a little. Resting his heavy sack on your chin, “They need some attention too.”

You smiled from behind his cock, eagerly mouthing his balls. Sucking one into your month before circling your tongue around it, savoring in their salty taste. Ren rocked his hips into your face, nudging your nose with his cock before bringing his hands to your cheeks. Pressing you into his balls harder, you spat out one. A thick string of salvia following you to the second one. Repeating the process, worshipping their heft. Ren let out a loud moan, ripping himself away from you. You whined in protest but soon he was plunging inside your waiting cunt.

“Ah!” you cried, “Kyy-you-loo,” you hiccups. He was fucking you hard and fast, your cunt squeaking around his girth. Ren hooked your legs around his hips, pressing you into the couch. The soft rose velvet soaking from your juices spilling out, your mouth popping open with each thrust. Ren wasn’t letting up, stilling only slightly while he was buried deep inside you. You could feel his cock twitch inside you as he thrust shallowly.

“Angel, you need to cum-I can’t hold it off anymore.”

“I-” you rasped, rubbing your clit furiously, “More-please fuck me more!”

Ren let out a muffled cry, trying to hold back his orgasm. Starting to fuck you a lot slower, taking a big pause before he plunged into you, “Fuck-please Angel.”

You rocked your hips back into him, pulling another cry from Ren behind you. Rolling your hips around to rub your front wall as you circled your clit in time with your movements. Over your shoulder, you could see Ren was squeezing his eyes shut while biting his lip to the point it bled.

“Ah!”

“Thank god,” Ren wailed when he felt you cum, squeezing his cock over and over. Your orgasm smashing you into the couch cushions, letting Ren pound his cum into you. Keeping his cum deep inside you, “Come on Mr. Ren, we have people to see,” you heaved. Ren whined as you moved, his cock softening as he shifted out of you. He collapsed next to you, looking at you with wide eyes, cheeks flushed rosy red, and lips bloody.

“As you wish, Mrs. Ren.”

\-----

Everyone cheered as the two of you appeared, clapping and smiling at the happy couple.

Both of you had changed, which was needed, walking arm in arm towards the head table. Ren reached for his glass, “I’m going to need this,” he reached over to grab yours too, “And this.”

You laughed as he downed both flutes, signaling to the waiter to refill them. Ren didn’t let him walk away until he shot two more rounds, finally handing you a drink. “That was classy,” you huffed, Ren glared at you. His attention left when his mother came over to the both of you.

“That was beautiful Ben,” she sat down next to him, slipping a hand onto his left forearm. You watched his face soften slightly, you knew he hated being called that name. But his mom called him that, and he was trying so hard to be close to her again. You know he would never admit it, but he missed her deeply. You could see if every time she came near him, his scowl lines softening when she was there. Holding his large hand in hers and telling him some dumb bullshit she heard on the TV or at her weekly bridge game with her friends.

Soon everyone had settled, toasts were being passed around in your and Kylos honor. Finn even had kind words to say, after the run-in with Ren in their early years. You forced Ren, on the threat of no more sex, that he had to say something to the man who was petrified of him. And he did, apologizing profusely for the way he acted, even offering him a job at the firm since he gained sole ownership of it in the divorce. Finn gratefully declined, taking his take to help others in different ways. He now works for a foster care center, helping kids get placed in safe loving homes and even helping the older ones with college applications.

You and Ren are Finn’s companies biggest donors, if you didn’t have kids of your own, you wanted to help others have a better future.

Dinner was quick, filled with laughter and smiles. You had spilled some champagne on your collar, Ren still called you beautiful even with the stain. Your bridesmaids were gushing over Ren’s college friends, who you learned were the Knights. They had been buddies so long ago and never left him, except Vicrul who was banned from the wedding along with his new wife.

You glanced at the dancefloor, tugging on Ren's sleeve and pointing over to Rose. Who was arm in arm with Ushar, dancing around one another like they had known each other for their entire lives? You laid your cheek on Ren's bicep, his soft lips placing a kiss on your forehead, “They look so cute.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen Ushar smile like that.”

“Maybe we will go to their wedding soon,” you whispered into him. Earning a chuckle and another kiss before Ren rose to his feet, “Come on, we have to dance at least once.”

You walked out to the floor, some people moved away but you didn’t care. All that mattered was the two of you together. Ren held you close, slipping his hand into your palm while the other rested on your lower back. You never talked about your first dance as a married couple, you don’t think the two of you had ever danced together.

But when the [music started,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6MjX1Am188) you couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

Swaying back and forth, holding tight to one another.

> _-  
>  I am a tall tree  
>  I weep like a willow  
>  My scars are hiding  
>  My branches don't show  
>  -  
>  Yes, I am a tall tree  
>  With roots like a new born  
>  No wind is blowing  
>  But over I go  
>  -  
>  And now I see storm clouds  
>  Up in the distance  
>  A terrible omen  
>  A beautiful show  
>  -  
>  So take me down easy  
>  Take me down easy  
>  Let me land softly  
>  Back in your arms  
>  -  
>  Yes I can be childish sometimes  
>  Seem optimistically kind  
>  But that's 'cause I can't go  
>  Back down in that hole  
>  -  
>  'Cause there was no sunlight  
>  Just ask my mother  
>  And I treated myself hard  
>  I crumble and fall  
>  -  
>  So take me down easy  
>  Take me down easy  
>  Let me land softly  
>  Back in your arms  
>  -  
>  Take me down easy  
>  Take me down easy  
>  Let me land softly  
>  Back in your arms  
>  -  
>  Yes I can sing sad songs  
>  It's easy to find them  
>  The worst kind of heartbreak  
>  Won't leave you alone  
>  -  
>  So take me down easy  
>  Take me down easy  
>  Let me land softly  
>  Back in your arms  
>  -_

\------  
“Tell me again why we are at a beach?”

You rolled your eyes, unpacking your suitcase on the lush bed in the master of your beach house. It was directly on the ocean, the balcony, where Ren was standing and glaring out, overlooked the waves as they crashed into the white shore. The sun was high in the sky, the two of you landed here early this morning. Marking the beginning of your European tour for the honeymoon, starting in Greece. You had always wanted to swim in the ocean here, the crystal clear water. Bask on the white beaches, get a wonderful tan, maybe force Ren outside to get some vitamin D for the first time in his adult life.

“I know you don’t like sand,” you huffed, wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing your cheek into his back. Smelling his cologne through his thin shirt, you felt his left hand move to yours, fingering the ring that claimed you as his.

“I’m not swimming.”

You groaned, ripping away from him, “Yes, you are! I know you know how to.”

“That doesn’t mean I will.”

“Kylo.”

“No,” he snapped, “I don’t know where that water has been. There could be things in it.”

“Are you twelve?”

Ren scowled at you, trying to grab your hand so he could hold it again but you smacked him away, moving into the suite once more. Slipping off your dress and stepping into your bikini, “I brought you sunscreen,” you sang over your shoulder, “That way you don’t have to be afraid.”

“I’m not afraid of a sunburn.”

You snorted, rubbing in some on your arms and legs before spinning towards him. He was looking down before you turned, clearing his throat when you glared at him. “If you would like to stare at my butt, you need to come to the beach.”

As much as he didn’t want to, Ren followed you down the stairs towards the private cove. Complaining the entire time about sand touching his feet, he about lost his mind when you set his towel on it, saying that ‘now it won’t keep the sand off of him if it's in sand.’.

“Why did I marry such a pussy,” you mumbled to yourself, tearing off your swimsuit cover and hat. Letting your hair down before staring up at him, “Come on, it’s our honeymoon, can you please not be controlling today?”

“I’m watching out for our safety and hygiene.”

You threw your hands into the air, pushing past him and darting towards the water. Giggling at the water lapped at your ankles, then your knees, hips, and you finally dove under. You tried to ignore the panicked yell from the shore when you popped up, holding your sunglasses out of the water to keep them safe.

“I’m okay! Come on you big baby!”

“I’m not a baby!”

You sunk into the water, only your nose and up were visible from the shore. Watching Ren nervously look at you from the beach, you couldn’t hear him. But you knew he was swearing when he tore off his shirt and ran towards you. Hissing as the water bit at his skin, scooping you from the water and smashing you down into the waves with him.

“Stop,” you squealed, clawing at his arms as he dunked you repeatedly, “You’re gonna drown me!”

“I thought you knew how to swim?”

“I do! I don’t know how to swim with a giant bear dragging me under!”

Ren dropped you, tall enough to stand on the bottom and still be out of the water from the chest up. Smirking down at you as you spat out water and glared at him, your designer glasses now covered in water, one of the lenses had popped out. You threw them in his face, “You ruined them!”

“You ruined them when you brought them in the ocean Angel.”

You glared at him again.

Ren shrugged you off, looking around the bay nervously. You know he was looking for fish, he was not a fan of swimming around them or being touched by them. He was a New York man, there's where to jump into lakes and ponds without getting a disease. You swam around him, climbing onto his back. Your legs snaked around his waist and arms around his neck, you placed a kiss to the side of his neck. “It’s okay, no one is around and there aren’t any predators.”

“Except for you.”

Ren snorted at that, leaning his cheek onto your forearm as he sighed. “How long are we here for, before Italy?”

“3 days big boy.”

You should’ve expected it, but when Ren threw you off his back into the water, you were anything but prepared. The following 8 dunks in the water were your punishment for teasing him for not liking the beach. You tried to push him under but whatever Ren is made of, it’s unmoveable. It was hard to believe you could stand this man on top of you during sex because he was throwing you across the bay over and over like a beach ball.

The two of you swam for the majority of the day out in the water, except for lunch. Ren wouldn’t let you back in the water after, “You could get a cramp.”. Leaving the both of you posted up under umbrellas, Ren read a book while you took a cat nap. You didn’t know then, but Ren had written in sunscreen on your back, ‘Ren’s whore’.

Italy was stunning, the city was warm and inviting.

You had no clue that Ren could speak Italian, which came in handy since you were staying in Rome instead of a remote beach like Greece. Ren had made reservations at wineries, fine restaurants, and went dancing under the stars.

The trip to the Vatican was your favorite part.

Mainly because Ren held you by the scruff of your neck so you wouldn’t run off and get arrested. Or break something, which you had already done in a store earlier in the day. You had asked him over and over if you were meeting the Pope, and he looked at you like you were crazy.

“Angel, we aren’t that rich.”

“Is there a gift shop here?”

Ren gave you the most confused look, his grip loosening on your collar.

“I want to get you one of those hats, so we can roleplay.”

He groaned, “Angel the Pope doesn’t have sex, god we need to leave.”

“How would you know?”

“I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not.”

You gestured around the building, “We don’t know what he does in his spare time! He could be banging all those nuns!”

“Okay,” Ren lifted you over his shoulder, “This is somehow worse than the wine bottles you knocked over yesterday when you got drunk at the vineyard.”

Paris was next, Ren was not excited about it.

You were in heaven, dozens of pastries, flowers, museums, the entire city was full of rich culture and history. The Louvre was absolutely magnificent, you forced Ren to take pictures with you at every landmark. Speaking in broken french to someone to take a picture of the two of you, Ren complained but he still did everything with you.

For a man of such culture and wealth, it shocked you that he didn’t know some of the art inside. Making fun of the statue of David, for his ‘small dong’, calling Mona Lisa a drag queen but he liked Di Vinci in that move with the bear.

“Sweetie that’s the wrong Leo, you’re thinking of Dicaprio. The one from Titanic”

“That makes more sense, I would’ve known if he was a famous painter.”

Ren did not want to take a picture on the Eiffel Tower, claiming that buildings like that aren’t stable. He didn’t want you to fall off and have to remarry again, too big of a risk. However, he did take a picture with you at the bottom, even doing the cheesy thing that made it look like he was holding the top with the tip of his finger.

After copious amounts of cheese, wine, and chocolate, you and Ren spent your nights in the city of love doing just that. Loving each other, other than the first day, Ren kept you tied to the bed, spread eagle. Fucking you any way he could, with anything he could (safely), rubbing you with whipped cream, chocolate syrup, strawberries.

Both of you drowning in each other, making good use of the XL-clawfoot tub overlooking the city. You were pretty sure the neighbors across from your room had binoculars, their smiles were a little too familiar when you checked out for the next city.

Germany!

Ren's favorite place, you didn’t think you’ve ever seen the man so happy.

He spoke German, another shock, he even drove you guys around. Apparently, he had visited there before, multiple times actually. Taking you to old castles, droning on about the history and whatnot. Touring beer gardens during the day, going to a few outdoor concerts that you couldn’t understand but it was beautiful.

The Berlin wall memorial was wonderful too, to see those pieces of history. Ren was very enthralled with all the WWII sights, he kept spouting out facts one after another.

“Why weren’t you a history major?”

“Why would I want to ruin history by working with it?”

The two of you left the city to stay in the Black Forest, nestled in the dense hills of Germany, staying in a small cottage. The fresh air filling the house every time you opened a window, spending the days horseback riding along the countryside. It was comical watching Ren on a horse, he was already a large man, but he looked almost too big to ride one. Hiking and riding all over, even stopping for a picnic while overlooking the vast land.

“Why do you love it here so much?”

Ren stayed silent for a moment, the wind pushing his hair back as he stared out at the rolling hills.

“I used to come here when I was little, with my grandparents,” He glanced over at you, “My grandma was from France, and her family had a Summer house here, and then when my parents sent me to be with them we would come here.” 

“That was nice of them…”

Ren laughed, “I wasn’t sent as a present, my parents would send me to Europe to be around my grandpa. He was strange and harsh like I am, but my grandma was always excited to have me around. And she loved it here, so I do.”

“Why didn’t we visit her in Paris?”

Ren shrugged, “She isn’t there, she died a long time ago. Right around the time I graduated from high school.”

“What about your grandpa?”

“Anakin? I don’t know where he is, probably terrorizing children somewhere with my uncle.”

You chuckled, curling into Ren's arm and leaning your cheek against him. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled. Ren kissed the top of your head.

“It’s okay Angel, she would’ve loved you.”

\-----

Days turned to weeks.

Weeks turned to months.

Months turned to years.

Now here you were, sitting with your mother-in-law in your breakfast nook. Playing cards while your husband made food, a slobbery dog laying at Leia's feet. Only popping up when Ren would ‘drop’ some bacon on the floor.

“Ben stop that,” Leia laughed, “That's how Chewie #1 died, don’t make my baby sick.”

“Technically I’m your baby,” Ren grumbled under his breath.

“I heard that young man.”

You snorted, “Mom he's almost 40.”

“Well,” she smiled at you, “He’s still my only child.”

Ren walked over to the two of you, kissing his mom on her forehead and then kissing you before he sat down. All of you chatting about your plans for the day, you had planned on driving to Cape Cod with Leia early. Usually, all of you went there to meet with Luke, Ren’s estranged uncle whom he hated with every fiber of his being. But he was getting older, like his mom, and Ren was growing soft.

“Oh,” Ren piped up, “I got a weird phone call this morning, at like three AM.”

You cocked a brow, “Did they leave a voicemail?”

He shook his head, “But I got a text from the same number. Something in Latin, I don’t know.”

You glanced at the phone, sure enough, there was just one word.

> _‘Vindicta’_

“Weird,” you chewed on your food, thinking about what it could mean. And who would send it to Ren, everyone from his old life had been blocked out. Rey, Vicrul, half the Knights, Snoke, Palpatine, fuck even that crazy Ginger.

You checked your phone, seeing nothing from the same number. Leia shrugged it off, saying it could be some random number. Easier to block it, Ren agreed and moved on, but you felt uneasy.

It seemed like Ren wasn’t telling you something.

Ren knew how to read Latin, he had written you a card for Valentines a few years ago in Latin. Expressing his love and devotion through the ancient language, but he somehow wasn’t sure of what the word meant.

“Ladies,” he sat up, “I have to run. Please let me know when you get to the beach.” Ren kissed his mother again, grasping your face in his hands to kiss you. Your foreheads resting against one another’s, “Are you okay,” you whispered.

Ren hummed, “Of course, Angel. I’ll see you tonight.”

\-----

“Hello?”

_“Angel? Are you okay?”_

“What are you talking about-.”

_“I love you so much (Y/N).”_

A deafening shot rang through the speaker.

_“Kylo?”_

A pained rasp came through the phone, followed by another shot.

**_“Kylo!”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The word in Latin ‘vindicta’ means revenge.


	16. In the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue.

In the end, they shot him.

An open and shut case, the police said.

Closed in 15 hours.

You never saw the body.

All alone in the morgue, sobbing over your love. The coroner and autopsy said the same, a bullet to the head. Point blank, shattering his skull in one swift blow. Followed by a series of five shots to the chest, for good measure. As if the chunks of gray matter on the pavement weren’t enough for them.

Now here you were, alone at the funeral.

Under a stormy sky, rain pattering on the closed casket. You made sure there were red roses, his favorite. Your wedding roses, the same ones he made sure to get you a bouquet of them almost weekly. So it felt right to send him off with one of his own.

You had asked for the wedding band, wanting to put it on a necklace for safekeeping. But the police never recovered it, his entire ring finger was sawed off by the perpetrators. A calculated move, one that cut to your core.

You tried to reach out to the Knights, anyone really, who could be there with you. No Finn, Rose, or anyone from the firm came. It broke your heart over again, thinking about how alone he was without you. And now you were in the same place, by yourself, soaking a tissue as the minister read the final notes.

Neither of you were religious, but you knew Ren had grown up in a Catholic household. So it felt right to give him back to the Earth in that fashion, he deserved to be put to rest properly.

Around the burial site were pictures of his life.

As a little boy with his parents, flying in his fathers’ arms. Being smothered by his mother’s kisses in his old home, you could practically hear his squeals as she chased him. A few pictures of him in high school, a favorite of yours was him sitting next to a large dog. His hair growing, some shaggy bangs framing his face as he smirked at the camera. Ren was holding his diploma, probably in front of his childhood home.

Another series followed his life in college, his smile fading as it progressed. Hair growing long and his frame filling out, you tried to keep away pictures of his wedding and anything involving Snoke and Palpatine. However, you had one of him and Rey, it was the only one of that time he looked genuinely happy. No matter how much you hated her, she was his wife for so long. They were on a beach, she was on his back, carrying her across the shores.

Your wedding pictures were surrounding the rest of the scene, smiling and laughing with one another. Shoving cake into his face, dancing together until the stars painted the sky. Carrying you away from the hoards of people who came to see you off.

The last picture was from two weeks ago.

He was just sitting on the couch, a mouthful of whatever you made for dinner that evening. Trying to push you off of him and shove the camera from his face, you remember wrestling him on the floor for him to release your phone moments after.

Both of you breathless on top of one another, he finally gave up and buried his face into your chest.

“I love you Kylo.”

“I love you more.”

_Loss is a collaborative art.  
Between those who leave us, and those who remain.   
Nothing on Earth can replace the love of another, departing before it was their time. We can’t control the twists of fate, all we can do is accept the devastation for what it is. Nothing more and nothing less._

_You will move on from this pain, no matter how uncertain the future may seem. No matter how bleak, monotonous and cruel it seems, it's unfair to know that you're still here when your love is gone._

_Love does things to a person, terrible, awful things.  
Things that one can’t comprehend when looking in from the outside, but for those who are inside, they know.  
To know that you can swim, when you’ve been drowning for so long.   
Unable to breach the surface, until it’s too late._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love you all, i really do. im so sorry, i am so sorry if you hate this ending. i thought about this for a long time, but this is how it ends for Lawyer Kylo.

**Author's Note:**

> *fans self* okay so we got the job?


End file.
